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I would appreciate all genuine, honest advice. My ex broke up with me we have children together and I was devastated . After about 6 months of on/ off arguing we have been getting on and have agreed to be friends. We talk on the phone and although we have children when he calls it is very often just to talk to me! He asks about my life and what I am doing. I did in the past tell him I wanted him back and o still loved him to which he has said ‘regardless he will always love me ‘ he has also said he won’t rule out us getting back together but this was a little while ago now about 3 months back. He has brought me gifts and commented on my pics at how nice I look. I often catching him looking at me when he drops the children off. We have had some deep convo’s over text’s and I said I was glad I have him in my life he replied that he Was ‘ very glad to have me’ IM SO CONFUSED!!!! I went out and he asked how it was I told him he told me he hasn’t been out in a while so I sent a msg later on saying he should perhaps come out with me and I got no reply. Im so gutted. There are some signs he wants to be with me but he blows and and cold. He does have a girlfriend- I’m not sure of the set up but he has indicated that it is more platonic but I could wrong! He is going to by me a car ‘ for the children’ but I just think well why , you are not with me- am I looking to far into this.....is he doing for the children or is it for my sake? ARRRRRGH!!!!! The compliments, the gifts, the jokes, the many phone calls a day.... But then he dos’nt reply to my proposal of perhaps having some time together. pleeeeeeeease help me here.
So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment or give me a
.

3 Comments:

  • gummybears: Sounds like you need to find out your boundaries. Don’t do what makes you feel uncomfortable. Vocalize them and do your best to stand your ground and say no. Its tough because its new, but it has to be done, especially for the kids to not be so confused. You are their leader....
    I don’t know the reasons he’s doing this...
    But you mentioned that he sometimes ignores the kids; sounds like he is missing the comfortableness of the old relationship to me.
    Exes are exes for a reason, and until those reasons are fixed, they need to stay an ex. Lol!
  • Poppy: Well he doesn’t actually ignore the kids, heis a dedicated dad and sees them very regulary. He knows the children are fine as we have more than likely spoken 2 or 3 times already that day. It feels like we have a sort of relationship but nothing has been said mainly due to he’s lack of commuication. It is this lack of communication I find annoying as he’s actions display he cares 4 me and misses me but he does not voice it. It’s like I have to take the lead but when I do he shy’s away. He is normally a quiet person and keeps himself to him self.
  • gummybears: Ok!
    There we go. :).
    Have you mentioned what you think about his communication to him lately? I think its time. If he ever has a hope of comming back, this would need to be addressed. At the very least, you guys are parenting partners for forever now, and if he continues this kind of behavior it’ll continue to erode at that relationship too because he’s crossing lines and sending mixed signals. He needs to know he’s doing that.
    He might just be trying to be a nice guy, or super friendly, but he needs to know where he can and can’t do these things with you.
    Are you scared that he is just doing this to be a nice guy and doesn’t want to come back?

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