A Lesson Learned From Losing Mother

mourning-1665772_1920-dolkb75flt.jpg Skip to paragraph 3 if you just want the advice and don’t want to read my story.

A couple years ago during the time I was living out my everyday college lifestyle, I arose from a nap and life was changed forever. My father just arrived home from work as I walked up the stairs to go say “Hello” to my mother. I walked into her bedroom to find that she wasn’t there and turned around back down the hall. Glancing into the bathroom I noticed that she was laying on the ground to what I thought she was sleeping. My hands touched her side to wake her up then my heart dropped. I’ve never felt a body so cold which the feeling has scarred me tremendously. I called 911 and grabbed my dad and my life changed forever to discover my mother had died. It was so shocking and random with no causation at the time. It has been two years now and I miss her tremendously.

The reason I am sharing my story is to possibly shed light into whoever maybe reading this about ” Restoring The Foundation”.

One of the first thoughts when a loved one passes is the ” I wish...” phrase. Forms of that phrase can be expressed such as ” I wish I would have said/done this...”, ” I wish I would have never said/done this”, or ” I wish you were here right now so I can say/do this”. Not only is it one of the first thoughts, it is continous thought through the grieving process ( for me at least ). Those thoughts and feelings come up frequently for those who have lost a loved one. Why don’t we take action now to prevent those thoughts of regret?

To all who are struggling with friends or family that are distant, fighting, or don’t even have communication here is my advise. This advise essentially applies to everyone that wants to prevent the ” I wish...” phrase. The expression “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” can be applied in many parts of life such as relationships, death, or essentially anything in life because it’s TRUE! One day you can wake up and it can be your last or someone that is close to you last day alive. You never know and it can happen to anyone.

Now think about all the people close to you or that you want to be close to. Imagine being at their funerals, now are you content with how you left them? That is the big question here. If not let’s start prevent that feeling. Focus on restoring the relationships that are broken. Focus on cherishing every moment you have with your loved ones. Learn to show love and kindness to all no matter race, title, or rank. Even if they hurt you learn to forgive because you may never get the chance to if you don’t. Don’t just let a tragedy bring your loved ones closer together. Figure it out now because you don’t know if you will ever get the chance.

This advise is coming from someone that lost their mother out of the blue, there are many things I wish I could have said or done. Now I have made a effort to restore all the foundations I possibly can. Honestly I can say that the ” I wish...” phrase won’t be on my mind at any of my loved ones funerals. Because I love, show kindness , and cherish every moment with my loved ones as if it was their last day. Now are you going to be the change? Or are you gonna let a tragedy motivate you to be the change?

Thanks for reading everyone! The blog was definitely long, but it came from the heart. I would love feedback! Again thank you for reading, it means a lot to me :)!

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment.


  • Johnny Nicks: Really sorry to hear of your loss.
    It sounds very traumatic, like a PTSD experience. Have you considered bereavement counselling?
  • Life Coach: I considered counseling at first because my mind was in shock for at least 8 months before it hit me. Thankfully I am well educated in the psychology field, because the grieving process went "smoothly" . But I haven’t had any experiences that correlate with PTSD.
  • Johnny Nicks: How did you find your psychology knowledge helped you with your grief?
  • Life Coach: -Understanding essentially how life and death works.
    -Taking my grief and anger out in a healthy way rather then negative
    -self psychoanalysis
    -knowing to communicate feelings rather then bottling them
    - investing time into friends, family, and hobbies.
    Obviously the list can go on how it benefitted me. For most people that have a tragedy like death occur in their life style, they don’t know how to handle it. You see most people take a turn for a worse and make negative life choice in that circumstance. Whereas I chose a healthier and positive grieving process.
  • Vale: Thank you for sharing this with us, hopefully it will help others who are going through death or another sort of traumatic event in their life
  • Johnny Nicks:

    Maybe if you explained a little more about how you did: - Understanding essentially how life and death works. -Taking my grief and anger out in a healthy way rather then negative -self psychoanalysis -knowing to communicate feelings rather then bottling them That would really help others?

  • Anonymous2016: One of the greatest and healthiest move is , when you are stuck in pain, you join a relationship site, and start writing blogs, and share knowledge and experience..what a magical world.. when in pain, you help others.. very few people can do it.. some do it for publication purpose, some for running a site.. you came with pure heart and soul.. May all your goals get fulfilled.. Love and hugs..!!

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