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Posted 2 Months ago
Jonny87
Fresh Boarder
Posts: 2
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Well.. Where to start..
I am a 21 years old male from Sweden and just few months ago i started studying in a university.
I started in a school where i knew nobody, but during my 3rd day a nice girl that i had my eyes on talked to during a tram ride, we talked about the regular stuff, how fun our class is etc.. Now I've been going to the college for around 1.5 months and we already hang out with each other all day and go the same way home..

But here is a problem.. She has a boyfriend who she has been with for 3 years.. He is 6 years older then her and a construction worker(with a brain of a 10 year old). She dint tell it to me like someone who likes their boyfriends does.. She "complains" about him pretty often, she actually never told anything positive about him.. Most of her complaints are "My boyfriend does not want to take me out for dinner", "my boyfriend does not take my to play tennis which i want", "my boyfriend uses "snus"(swedish "chewing tobacco" which i hate" etc.. You get the point.. Also she just recently moved to the town where college is while her boyfriend stayed behind in an other town which can only be reached by taking a train which takes around 45 mins..
Also recently i noticed that she has been quite sad in school sometimes.. When her boyfriend calls her responses during the conversation are "uhmmm" "yeah" "ok" etc and she never even smiles when she talks with him on the phone..

Also this girl shows some "signs" for me.. I am the "intelligent-funny" type of a guy and i make her laugh all the time, i mean sometimes she laughs so hard that she has problems stopping, she even laughs at my stupid jokes when nobody else does... We also share same personality traits and we both came to Sweden from the same country when were just kids.
Now to the advice.. I can see that she is not really happy with her idiotic boyfriend(i know him and she deserves better). So i started making some small moves.. For example our class were supposed to start 12.30 AM so i proposed to her to come to school earlier to "study" for anatomy test, she gladly responded and we basically chatted around for 2.5 hours. I could go on and on, but i would like to know what i should do next..
I mean i dont wont to go too "aggressively" because that might put her in a strange position.. For example i wont go up to her and ask her out for a date at the moment.
Should i continue building on her "trust" or should i do something else?

Again, i know that going for girls with boyfriends is not morally "right".. But i am in love and i cant stop thinking about her even for a minute.

Thanks.
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Posted 2 Months ago
RyanR
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Posts: 7
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all i can say is keep your distance. if shes got a boyfriend let her work that out with her boyfriend.. dont set your feelings and your world around a girl like that. if shes going behind her boyfriends back talking to you then what makes you think she wont do it to you??. yea it seems nice now but im sure it was really nice when they started out together too... just be carefull it seems like a dangerous situation.. id keep my distance and just be a friend.. male and female friendship is close one so dont get the wrong impression
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Posted 2 Months ago
Jonny87
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Posts: 2
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hey,
I agree that i should keep my distance and wait for what happens with their relationship..

Btw its easy to tell "forget about her", but its really really hard to do
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Posted 2 Months ago
RyanR
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Posts: 7
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ha your tellin me..
im going through a break up right now.
trying to forget about a female is way easier said than done
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Posted 2 Months ago
Jewelman
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Posts: 336
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Yes, STAY AWAY! I mentioned on this forum many times. Never be friends(especially close friends) with a girl who has a boyfriend and you are attracted to her. And I am speaking this out of my own personal experience. It's a bad idea and it will go nowhere good. And always remember, girls don't care about what you have in common with her and what makes her laugh. It's all about her attraction. So that's why we notice girls who date all the jerks and assholes because it's not cause girls really like being treated bad but attraction is mostly what matters. You can buy a girl's true love for you.

It's one of the best advices you'll ever get.
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