Advice for buying a place with my boyfriend

Hi. I've been with my boyfriend for 9.5 years, on and off, and we have decided to buy a place together. We are not yet engaged, but have discussed that we would like to be soon.

Of course, the stress of buying a place is difficult for us. There is one are which has caused major strain.

I have been saving money, and consequently can put $20,000 more down on the condo then he can. Since we are not married, I have been told by my family/friends to get in writing how much we are putting into the place, in case the relationship ends. Although in general we are happy, I took their advice and asked that we sign a simple form stating how much each of us are investing, with the concept that when we become married, everything is equal.

When I asked him to sign something, he got very upset, stating that if I don't trust him, then we shouldn't get married. The end result was that he said he'd sign it, but if he did, he wasn't sure if he wanted to marry me, and certainly not anytime soon.

What are your thoughts? Should I not have asked for this, or is he overreacting?

Thanks.

i can understand his concerns of him thinking you don't trust him, but the truth is no ever plans on things going sour when everything seems great. i made the mistake of basing everything on your other half, but you need to have a plan if everything would crumble. and if he knows there will be nothing to worry about, then why would he care?

lovestruck123 welcome to the forum

Let him slowly get used to the idea. Taking precaution for things going wrong in the future is like paying for life-insurance. Nobody hopes to die, but just in case...

This is a common issue about couples buying a place together without being legally married. I think you're in the rights to make him sign something and he should accept that especially that you've been on and off so many times, it's the smart thing to do to protect both of you. But give him some time. I think he thinks you don't believe in the relationship but that doesn't sound true.