Am I doing the right thing?

Hey, I need some help if you can.

I'm one of those people that wants to do all, try all, the whole shebang. I hate myself for missing opportunities and chances. This has been causing huge problems with my boyfriend and me. Sometimes I end up just plain dropping him to do things that hurt him and us. But I can't stop. I made out with another guy and tried drugs with that same guy just for the experience, even though I promised my boyfriend that I wouldn't touch them until he could be with me and make sure I'm alright.

We kind of live on different continents, but we still spend more time together than some people who live together, with the help of webcams. I mean, this is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to have a home and a life and a family with him. But I can't keep my eyes on that whenever something shiny bounces into the picture.

After six months of hurting him and hurting him, I've asked if I can have some time to get myself straight and to change. I know I'm not ready for a serious relationship if I carry on this way. I want to change for him, to stop thinking that I have to do and try everything, but it's hard and it's going to take a while.

I guess what I'm asking is, am I doing the right thing? Is it right to ask for some "time off" from us? It's killing me to be without him, but I want to do what's best for us, and I don't see what else I can do.

Post edited by: VeeZazz, at: 2008/09/01 00:27

Hi VeeZazz, welcome to the forum

I think you are doing exactly the right thing. I think it is very important you get yourself sorted out before going on with this. I hope your boy friend agrees - although I can see it must be hurtful to him as well.

Hi VeeZazz,

The only thing I would say if you want to change, you do it for yourself not for him.