ARE WE DONE FOR GOOD, EVEN AFTER SHE CAME BACK AND I FOUND SHE HAD BEEN CHEATING

Me and my fiancee split after 9 years for 7 weeks, came back together after her being adamant she wasnt comming back, then 7 weeks later she went after me finding out she had been texting someone from work. He was married and she said it was just a silly infatuation and nothing really happened. Her phone is in my name and i got the txt records. There were a large amount of txt in one month to this number so i approached her because a few weeks after getting back things started going down hill with her saying she wasnt sure of her feelings again. We talked about it together and she opened up saying she wanted to make the effort now it was in the open and what she done isnt worth loosing our relationship for, however the next say after talking to her mum she decided to leave.

over the 7 weeks she was back the first 3 were perfect, then this thing texting started. It was when things went down hill a bit. We didnt argue at all over 7 weeks but she did say she wasnt back to normal. It was obviously because of this thing.

I have left her in our home and now back at my mums. I have agreed that we need time apart. She said at the moment she does not want to be with me. She cant give me any reasurrances and said her head is messed up and she needs her thinking time and she will get in touch with me.

Do you think there is any hope for us? She is the one for me, 9 years of happy life then this. We were having a go at sorting things after our first split and then she did this which has obviously caused her leaving again. She did say she wished I hadnt found out because she already ended this txting with the guy from work and was hoping to get our relationshiup back to normal. I am willing to forgive. Could time heal us, and will relationship councilling help us? if so how. Ofcourse she has to agree to it. I said to her id looking into it and maybe in the future with mutual agreement there is help out there for us.

The most important thing is that this time its me who has left the house and not her. When I was there on my own it was lonely, maybe she will feel the same, with all the pictures being about and me not being there.

Even though Iv said to her...lets keep the communication lines open together because we have a long road ahead, and i dont want anything to get nasty I think I should leave her alone to think, without me being on the door step or calling her everyday. She even said that she would prefer im not doing that at the moment.

She did say the other day that she thinks this is it for us and cant see how it can work now, but is this a rash decision? She said that the first time she left and was truly adamant on multiple occasions she wasnt comming home, but she did. I chased a bit, but when I stopped we found our way back, but since then when we have talked she hasnt said "listen, this is it for good, it will never work between us ever again i really mean that

help please.


advice vey much appreciated

Leave her alone for a month.
If she wants to talk, don't give her easy attention.
She was your fiancée! You have got to be treated better.

thanks Guy, You have responded to my earlier posts and it helps.

I have said to her that iam happy for us to have space. She is in our house this time and its me who has left. She only found i I know on monday this week, and next day I went when she said she wasnt happy. She is obviously confused.

I have told her that there is hope for us potentially, but we need time apart. Im not planning on being funny eith her, she said she will contact me when she is ready.

We spoke this morning because I stupidly bought her a car after 3 weeks she was back, felt right thing, wasnt trying to buy her and she was made up, then this started happening. She is not getting a loan to pay me for the car.

I did say that i looked at councilling and there is help out there for us, she said she cant give me any reassurances at the moment so i need to leave her now. She goes on holiday tomorrow and im staying in the house whilst she isaway, she s happy with that and when she comes back, ill b gone before she gets home.

If I leave her a month or just wait till she calls me then in the meantime she will see what its like comming back to an empty house were good memories were once shared, just like I did. I wonder if she will take our pictures down like I did last time

time will tell. I should probably move on after the way iv been treated but i feel she is the one and not going to let her go without a fight. For now though absence makes the heart grow fonder, it did last time when i started leaving her alone.

wish me luck!

omg..dude..i have been having the same problem with my gf..although we only were together for 3 years...yes she is just like the way u described ur girlfriend..she left me and she was very adamant about it telling me that we will never get back together...then i started talking to another girl and after 4 months we got back together...now last week she left me again...she came to pick her stuff from my house and completely ignored me...both of the time i suspected she was cheating..the first time she admitted to me that she liked someone at work.. but of course i think they fucked..thats just natural for a female to be a hoe...we are currently separated for a week now...and i wonder if she comes back...if she wants to come back then i will gladly say yes cuz we have a baby together and i want to be a father for that baby...but i can gurantee u that if it wasnt for that baby i would had dumbed her long time ago...give her sometime let her breath .. let her fuck who ever she wants to fuck...let her party...and after all that if u still want to take her back then thats ur call...

I think you are doing the right thing. 9 years is a lot to throw away. You will find out a lot in 3 - 4 weeks. This work thing is just a phase. Some times people need to make mistakes to realize things. Dont buy any more gifts just use this space. I am sure you have a 100 questions right now but just concentrate on other things. Yes, she should miss you among your things.

I agree with snowflake don't buy her anything else. You hoping she will have the same lonely feelings in that house as you did may not happen. But you take care of yourself stop letting her have things at your cost.
I know you hurt and would do anything to get her back but compromising yourself is not the way to do it.
If you continously pave her way she will quite possibly let you without any remorse.
Why are you staying at the house while she is gone on holidays? Hope it's for the sake of a pet.
Her doing this with a co-worker and a married one to boot is wrong of her. Not only did it hurt you but what about his family? Infatuation give me a break. Whats needed here is some honesty from her. If she does not give that to you then it will leave you with the unanswered question that many of us have as to why. We don't always get the answer but we need to not let them use us.