courtesy of Rochelle, just rochelle
Welcome to the second episode of “As the Stomach Churns”, a nonexistent soap opera I created for all of you who are having relationship issues. Obviously, I paraphrased the name of a well-known soap opera in order to create this blog. It just seemed to be an appropriate name for my blog. I’m hoping you’ll see humor, the irony, the confusion and the sadness which make up the series of events which I call my life.
This morning, I woke up with a stomach ache, as my stomach was still churning from yesterday’s activities. At the moment, I am housebound because I’m having a love affair with the toilet, better known as the “runs” to people from the USA or the “trots” to people from the UK.
Please note that ALL names in my blog have been changed to protect the innocent or the guilty - lol.
Yesterday, after finding my husband oogling lesbian ***** and chatting with his ex, I wished him a good day. Not that he was going to have one, since he was off to the oral surgeon to have some teeth pulled. I had to see my doctor in order to pick up a thyroid prescription, and I ran into my friend Kathy at the drug store.
Did you ever see that movie.. oh gosh, I just can’t think of the name of it where a woman decides to become a sleuth in order to find out if her husband is cheating on her and she does such a good job of it that she gets a job as a private eye and manages to help both herself and other women who had similar experiences?
Well, I felt like a character in that movie yesterday as Kathy started describing to me all the things her new husband Ben has been up to ever since they got married not too long ago. She was telling me that, when she married Ben, he still had a girlfriend down south. Not only that. She logged onto her computer and noticed that he was still active on a dating site. So, I told her how my new husband had tried to sign us up for a swingers’ site before we married and how he’s still seeing his ex from time to time. I told her I’m still in contact with my ex and that MY husband keeps getting messages from women on a dating site too. We decided to keep each other posted on our respective husbands’ escapades. Misery sure loves company!
This morning, my husband Gerry got a message entitled “deliberating” from some woman named Liz. The message said she wanted to give him love but she was deliberating because she hasn’t heard from him for a while. I never even heard of a woman named Liz.. I only know about my husband’s ex, Sara. My husband also got a message from a dating site on which he is allegedly active. Of course, he denies everything, which at this point is ludicrous. It’s not that I’m Miss Innocence either, but the only male person who ever sends me suggestive messages is MY ex, the lascivious Lothario. Sure, I have male friends, but they came to our wedding and have no interest in me and vice versa. I unsubscribed from the few dating sites I used to frequent. But, as I said before, my husband must have joined at least 20, if not 40 dating sites prior to meeting me, and some of them continue to contact him with matches.
Call me cynical. Call me naive, but I’m coming to believe that marriage nowadays has nothing sacred about it. It seems to be more like an institution which provides its partners with some semblance of security, sex if you’re lucky and companionship, again, if you’re lucky. Back in the Dark Ages, when I first married my late husband, marriage meant something. People didn’t stray from their marriages unless they were totally and irrevocably incompatible with their mates. Nowadays, it’s almost as if practically anything goes until one partner gets sick of all the BS and bolts.
So, why do people still get married? I think it’s because many of us are social creatures who still believe in the tooth fairy. I have to admit that ever since Gerry moved in I no longer feel lonely and I enjoy his company very much. We do a lot of things together and we also pool our resources and plan for the future.
But, do we trust each other? Most definitely not. He knows I’m not going back to my ex, and I know he’s not going back to his ex. But, we both are still in regular contact with our ex’s. And, I suspect he has other women waiting in the wings. I have no one waiting in the wings by choice. When I decided to marry, I decided my dating days were over and I’m so happy not to have to go on meaningless blind dates with all kinds of weirdos. On the other hand, I thought my new husband would be less of an enigma than he is. And, you know what’s funny about it? Every time I confront him about this or that, he bursts out crying. That must be his MO because he cries so easily. And, oddly enough, he never confronts me about my ex, in spite of the fact that my ex contacts me pretty regularly. I guess on some level Gerry realizes I would never leave him for my ex. And, he’s right about that. But, will I ever see my ex again? The way things are going, I wonder if I even should refer to my last beau as an ex!