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I walked down the aisle last fall in pure whit and was so happy that i would be able to give my seand completely to husband knowing that he was the first man who would ever touch me like that. Big **** mistake. Here I thought I was unquestionably doing the right thing. How many girls make or threw highschool much less college as a virgin? With most other men this would probably have worked. But, it didnt. Although I would go so far as to say I am still a virgen, I feel like I am really missing out on something essential. My husband was honest and up front with me from the beginning. He told be before we got married that he had problems. However, I had full faith that doctors and the right pill would have everything working in no time. I was so wrong.

I am 24 and my husband is 37. That’s a bore try big age gap, I know. When I first met him I had no idea of it becoming romantic but I soon feel in love with him. We dated long distance up until we got married and I wanted to wait until we were married. My father had been a paster and I belived it was the right thing to do. I guess I kind of still do but I also think it makes the next harder more difficult.

My husband was very honest with BMW about his problems. He told me that for the past 10 years or so he had jot really had an *****. On the other hand, he had not tride any tratments because he was able to satisfy himself with out one and since he was normally single it had not mattered much. He had dated but never very seriously.

before we got married owe talked about this with a councilor. My husband said he would do what ever it took to make things work. I belived him. The councilor said he was not suprised that he had this problem due to some of the things in my husbands past. There are obvithat pycological issues thacosiouly cause this. However, my husband is convinced the problem is purely physical. He has been seeing a urologist but he is convinced that nothing will work. We have tried ever drug I know of with no results and resently spent money we didnt have for a ***** vacune pump that our insurance would not cover. He decided he did not like the pump and that it would not work after trying it a couple of times even though the directions say it can take up to ten times. I know that he dosent want too try to hard because he woul rather fail now then try hard and then fail. I know that this is distorting his ego and he just wants to forget it but I can’t!

I don’t know how to deal with these problems. I dont even know how to tell if the thing is working because I don’t know what an erect ***** looks like in person I’m not sure how hard it has to be for penetration because iv never done it before. we don’t have time to fumble around and figure it out because ignhengets any sort of ***** it’s gone immediately with out constant stimulation. He wants o give up, to say our life is too enough with out penatrive sex. I understand his frustration but I can’t do that. I get more and more frustrated every day. Although he gose threw the motions of going to the doctor and getting prescriptions and such he dose not believe it will work and is just doing it to pacify me. What should I do?

How do I respond to the fact that my husband is done trying to have a healthy sexual relationship with me? I know it’s not my fault but men are not the only ones with egos. I feel undesirable and discarded, unatractive and unloved. I don’t think i can fix this by myself and he dosnt want to give more then a nominal effort. Every time I try to talk to him about this he starts to say he shouldn’t have married me and that maybe I should just leave him. I hope that is not the answer but I don’t know what else I can do. I know he dosnt really want me to go. I can tell from the way he holds me tighter and the tears in his eyes when he says it. But I don’t know what to do anymore.

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment or give me a


  • gummybears: divorce him.
    have you guys seen a sex therapist yet?
    does he jog or run? that helps with ed better than drugs. start with walks, get him active, raise his cardio, swimming, go to the gym, anything. get exercise in your love routine. it might even get him out of his mental funk.
    if you’ve teed all the pills and seen counsellors... take it to the next level hon. this is sex therapists, and mother nature.
    have you tried these? how did it go?
  • OopsBrokeIt: definitely exercise. if nothing else gets the libido going, hitting the weight room will do it every time.
    also, imho actual penetration isn’t all there is to sex... hint hint ;)

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