boyfriend with 1 year old daughter and crazy baby mom

Please help!!! i need advice i have never had to deal with this situation and i dont know how to handle it!! I am a 24 yr old female and i met my current boyfriend (22 yrs old) while working together in october 2008...when i met him he told me his story...that he had a very young daughter with an ex girlfriend that told him that she was on birth control when she really wasn't...he also lives with his father...anyway we started dating and it was really good at first we got to see each other at work alot and hung out sometimes outside of work...and i understood that he needed to see his daughter on his days off...and his baby's mom has called me and threatened me several times over the phone...Then i was let go from my job and i hardly see him...i try to initiate times to see each other...but he doesn't seem to do the same...he also got an additional job...to help support his daughter...so i really never see him...we have gone for long periods of time not seeing each other and it makes me sad...i asked him if he doesnt wanna be with me to be straight forward with me...but he says that he loves me...but i dont know what to do...its really frustrating...i dont want to be selfish...i mean he has spoke about a future with me but i dont really know if he meant it..please help!!!!

hi... u seem to be in a very tricky situation here... do u really love this guy? i mean is he really worth all this trouble? he is younger to u and got a baby... and though he is a busy man i think if he really wanted it to work he would have atleast tried.. since how long do u know him?? when u were working together were u guys going out regularly o is it been the same from the start?

hi thank you for your response...i do love him...at first i was very cautious...i didnt know what to expect...but know i have fallen for him...i met him in july 2008 and he persued me and started dating in october 2008...it has really been the same since the beginning just seemed like we saw each other more cuz we worked together..i mean he has changed though too..he doesnt text me as much and doesnt call me as much either..should i just end it...i dont want to cry anymore..

i dont think u should cry for him anymore either... jus make up the guts and move on... u seem to be a wonderful person.. i am sure ur mr. perfect must be waiting for u.. all the best..!!!!!! do as ur heart says... and remember the most important thing in life is to be happy and only then others will be happy with u.. have a good life.......

thank you...you helped a lot

no problem.. i am glad i was of any help.. well i ve posted my problem as jo.. plz give me any suggestion if possible.. thank u..

Well I am male so let me give you the other side prospective.

The guy will always be busy until his financial situation improves. That is a simple fact. Now what you can do is try to have a really good quality time with him even if it involves his daughter. If you are not willing to accept her as a part of your relationship then that is a different issue and I would suggest to move on. The man has to work and has to make a living that is a simple fact. If his financial situation is hindering then again it is within your rights to look for something better. However it would be unreasonable to assume neglect just because he is working. The ratio between work and your interactions is also something up to both of you to decide and only you can determine what is acceptable or not with you. Just be honest about it with yourself first, rather than changing your mind later and with him as well.

Regarding the crazy ex, either you be strong about it or have him be strong about it. What she is doing is called harassment. Simply file charges on her and pursue it. Now depending on the police force over there, they might try to go easy on her but be aware that it is within your legal right to pressure them to address this situation. From a legal prospective that might be the best solution for that issue and it would play in you favor if this even develop into marriage.

lets just be real right now being in a relationship to me is not his main priority.If you asked to spend aome time with u an aint shit popped off then he got an additional job. to take care of his child thats tellimng u right there child first u come when he want to come and fuck with u. I understand family come first but u aint in any quality time with this young man. I would just move on to the next especially if u aint got kids u aint got to be second babygirl. Find u a man that s about u and for your every need. i understand he has a baby and u was willing to still make it work and except the package he had plus the bullshit threats from the babymomma. girl take it for what it is move on and if he wants u let him make effort to come to u.

start doing things without him and show him you have a fun full life without him and maybe he will reconsider his priorities. Just try it. Dont be rude but just be a little "too busy" for him and stop calling him. Let him call you. Make him chase you again. Perhaps things could change. Sometimes people take others people for granted whenh they think that other person is always there.