broken trust

i betrayed my girlfriend of 9 months trust can i win her back. we love each other and see each other a lot, i never was honest with her about the past divorced i had with my second wife. i told her it was a live in girlfriend and although she opened up to me on alot of her life i was embarrassed to go there about my mistake with this short term marriage. i was going to sit down and tell her over the next couple months as we were looking to possibly moving in together. she found out the other day and ended the relationship immediately saying i lied and betrayed her trust. any ideas on how to win her back or am i toast? and is that a normal reaction to just terminate a relationship? feedback is appreciated.

Hi mjlas, welcome to the forum

Well, I truly cannot understand how you could keep this kind of information away from her and didn't tell her from the beginning. It is far more embarrassing to tell it 9 months (!!!) later...

I am sorry to be harsh, but yes.. I can fully understand your ex-girlfriend ...

I appreciate your feedback, any ideas on what to do that can get her back or do i just let her go and give her space hoping that she will will call one day when she works through this?

well, I am not you, but if I'd be in a position like you I think I would write her a registered letter (no email) and express how sorry I am about having made the wrong decision by not telling her but that that decision wasn't based on wanting to withhold information from her or cheat her but solely because you were afraid of losing her (if you were).

End the letter with that you would like to see you two get back together again because you love her and that you love her enough to leave it up to her to decide what is best for her...

i did sit with her last friday 3 days after it happened, we talked and i told her how sorry i was and why i did what i did it and she knew why but the fact i held it from her and was not honest she couldn't work through it. i told her how i felt about her, that i wanted to get back together and work through it. she was not to receptive at that point. i do know she still loves me and is hurting like i am. over the weekend i did send her a copy of my divorce decree that just came through the mail. I also sent a 3 page letter to her parents apologizing to her them for hurting their daughter and being a coward for not telling her from the begining. they treated me very good and i felt i owed them that as well. i am hoping that time will make her miss me more and giving her space will help her clear her thoughts. what would you do now being me?

Well, then there actually isn't much more you can do, mjlas. Hope that she will come to terms with this and come back to you.

trust is very important part of relationship

trust is very important part of relationship

I agree and thank you for the input. i did get a phone call from her last night and she does forgive me but needs to work somethings out for her in therapy and i agreed to give her that space by not seeing her and when she is ready to start dating again i am the first in line that she will call. she has to find out why she can't go deep in a relationship and ask questions that she may not want to know the answers for and that is what she is trying to work out and get herself straight on. by the way you are an attractive lady.