broken up a few days ago

ok i want to post this and see what i get for advice and things like that. me and my gf of 4 months just broke up a few days ago. we moved in together after a few months and now she is pregnant. her living situation is that she had kids b4 me and she lived with her ex but as hard as this is for most of you to belive she said that they barely talked and that when they did it was just about the kids which i know for a fact is true. she gave up so much for me like time with her kids. so i guess what i want to say and ask is this. when we were dating and things were fine it was perfect and she even told me this numerous times. she even told me that i was perfect becuase i did do alot of sweet things for like maybe once every 2 weeks or so and she even told me at times that she would marry me. we hung out every day no eggeraztion there either since the first day we met. the problem came with drinking and me and having anger issues and she always told me that i should get a counselor. these fights or whatever the issue once happened about one time a week. so im going to see a counselor starting today. she told me after this time that things would take time and if she seen a change she would like think about taking me back. so basically she moved out and im going to be moving out too soon and i asked her that if she could do me a favor and just come back one night and stay with me and she said that its not a good idea and shes really trying to avoid seeing me because it hurts to see me, also when the past few days weve been talking on the phone when i say that i love you and i miss you and sweet things all she says is "i know" and i asked her why she couldnt say anything else but that and she said that she just cant so basically what do you think about this? also shes been telling me recently for me to get out of the house more and just do things to keep me busy, do u think that this is beacuase shes already over me or something like that and she just wants me to move on or what? she would always take me back when things would happen to. i know for a fact that if you think that someone is perfect for you that you just dont want to throw that away and also that she wants me to see a counselor not just for me but for the kid that is coming too. i know for a fact that she wants me to do it for her too. its like i really feel like this is the one for me , so basically any suggestions on how to get her back and what are your thoughts on this? and if she seen a change do you really think that she would take me back and shes a girl where she tells nothing but the truth.

Post edited by: theone4, at: 2008/02/01 07:21

Post edited by: theone4, at: 2008/02/01 07:24

theone4, welcome to the forum


She is pregnant of your child?

I think you should sit back and think now. This isn't anymore about you and her, but also about an unborn child (a LIFE) that should get the best possibly obtainable. Please, first think of your (unborn) child first now and set out from there.

well she came over the other day for 5 mins to drop something off and we hugged and kissed alot and she said that she still loved me and she missed me. after she left or a few hours after i asked her if she would have time to hang out with me later and she said that she was at the store and she would get back at me later. and she never has , ive texted her and called hernumerous times and she still hasnt gotten back to me. what should i do???

Try to cope with her unstableness or cut it off and move on. Except of course for your unborn child - for him/her you are the father and no cutting off relationship is going to help that, because then you would be ignoring your duty (and miss out on a wonderful feeling, namely that of being a parent).

If you really want to be together with this girl I think a serious(!) conversation with her - explaining what you want might help a bit.

ok so what do you think that she is doing just creating space or what? do you think that everything will be alright?? i mean if she was as serious as she said then she will be back and she sees that im getting help too so whats your opinion?

I think she is waiting it out to see how it goes with your counsellings. I mean since the 1st until now, Feb. 6th, is not an awful lot of time

haha yeah ur right! so do you thnk that sooner or later she will be getting back in contact with me and maybe want to try and work this out or what? thanks for hte help!

and what would u recommend i do just sit out and wait?? and if so how long should i wait until i try and get back in contact with her and all of that?? also what else could i do that would be sweet and all of that stuff?

Wait for however long it is necessary - in the meanwhile you could send her cards with 'i'm thinking of you' or stuff. (not every day) - and after a month orso you could try to phone her to solely ask how she is doing and perhaps talk about your progress with counselling. etc.

We broke up 2 weeks ago .. The situation is not easy as we do work together, more than that he is 14 years younger... We had crazy romantic and very intensive relationships.. I was the one who suggested to finish it as i felt he changed, actually the decission was to protect myself from hearing this him and as there is no future of course. The thing is that i seem to hang on this much more than he is or he did... He is very cold now and I feel it is not the game, he is over the story, I do not know how to behave myself at work ...ignoring or smiling, talking or better not, showing that i am over the story as well.?????