Complicated Relationship, Please Help.
I’m in my 30’s and I meet Mike a year and the half back. We started as friends and became closer. He has always been there for me and still is. However, the complicated part is this that I’m not sure where I stand in this relationship.
So Mike and I got closer and things were heated up but we didn’t made love cos he said that he believe that sex is meant to be after marriage. But we were still close, months passed and one day he told me that we shouldn’t be closer. We need to understand each other well and told me that he want to get to know me and don’t want the closeness between us to confuse us about how we actually feel about our selves. So I agreed and we became close friends ever since. No kisses and no hanky panky.
I have fall for him and told him about how I feel and he said ‘don’t put faith on me as we don’t know what our future is and if things are meant to be between us it will be. Plus I’m not ready for commitments’, as I have already fall for him it was just so hard for me to keep him out of my mind, so I agreed to what he said. Plus we are housemates and I have no other choice but to be seeing him all the time.
To complicate things more he is so caring towards me and is very protective towards me. Whenever he is going out and where he is going to he will tell me and when I’m going out I will tell him too. He has introduce me to his mom and sister as a friend and wants me to spend sometime with them whenever possible and as I like him so much that I couldn’t say no to him plus I do enjoy the time with his family. However, I have just recently discovered that he is in to an open relationship with another woman who has a boy friend and he has keep it secret from me. As per his handphone SMS they are planing to have this like a contract for few months or so and that no emotional should be involved.
Today, Mike is going to meet her as per the SMS and he lied to me saying that he is going someway else, what I don’t understand is this that he told me he is the type of a guy who wont be involved with a woman who has a boyfriend and don’t believe in open relationship or sex before marriage. I was very upset about all this and it was so clear on my face and he asked me what was the matter. I told him that I feel he is keeping something from me and he told me that he is not and that he is not in relationship with anyone and that he will never keep anything from me as I mean alot to him. That he appreciate all that I’m doing for him and he will not be able to get a best friend like me.
He is always there during my good times and my hard times and he always support my future. Always advice me to bring out the best out of me.
I’m just so confused, what is going on? Is this a red flag? Should I stay or should I leave?
Please advice what I could do in this situation? It will be very helpful to me. Thank you. =)