Confused as always.

I was dating a girl for 2 and a half years. We had our problems and things got bad at the end. She couldn't trust me and we fought quite a bit. We were in love, but my friends and parents saw how bad it was on me and told me to move on. It was time for me to go back to school so we decided that it would be best to break up. At school I met another girl and she was great at first, everything went well, my parents and friends like her. We dated for only 2 months and the whole time I was still in love with my ex. Now I've quit dating the new girl becuase things got wierd and I started talking to my ex again. I'm going home next semester and I want to start a relationship but I'm afraid things won't go right. I'm afraid that my parents and friends won't agree, especially since they came to love the new girl. I also don't want to deal with the trust issues again, but I am in love with her. I'm just confused becuase a lot of people won't agree with what I'm doing and the new girl became a great friend, but I know if i date my ex again I'll have to cut off all communication with her. I guess I'm just seeking some general advice or someone who has had an experience like this. Thank You

Unless there's a GOOD reason why your friends or family doesn't like who you date, they can't really control that. As for them being concerned about being with your ex, I guess the first thing you ask yourself is why you both fought so much. Obviously, there were problems. Have they been resolved because they will come back if they're not. And then this famous topic of about girlfriends not liking your female friends. There's every reason for her to be jealous because you've dated so recently. I guess the whole topic of can girls and guys just be great friends and the answer is yes, if you are BOTH not attracted to each other. Can you honestly tell me you and the new girl both not attracted to each other anymore? It just seems like such a short time.

Well. The reason would probabaly be that we fought excessivly and she put me in a bad mood a lot, she was a little nutty. I still have some attraction for the new girl, but she will be away at school and I will be at home next semester, so we've already talked about that so the attraction will fade. I understand why my ex wouldn't wouldn't want me talking to the new girl, but it's more of a personal thing because shes been a good friend to me. It's just that the ex doesn't let me be friends with ANY girls, unless they are my friends girlfriends. That was really the biggest problem in our relationship. She would look at my phone, texts, facebook, email and start a fight for any little hint that I talked to another girl. She's hard to get through to but maybe she has changed. Thats what makes it so hard with the new girl because she gives me a lot of freedom, but she has her own problems too. I'm still concerned that the ex's problems will come right back but I just want her back.

I guess I just can't get over my ex at all. It's been six months even without talking to her and having another girlfriend and i still love her and still want a relationship with her, even with the fights I feel much better when I'm with her than I do now. The problem now is ALL my friends love the new girl and are friends with her. Very few of them like my ex.

Well, let's put the new girl aside for a second. Your ex doesn't like you hanging around any girls that is not a friend of hers. I think there's a certain level of trust issue that she has. Regardless of whether there's a new girl or not, it doesn't sound like she and you would be a good match whether or not you have feelings for her. Trust is a huge component in a solid relationship and she doesn't have that with you. We can ask you the same question. Are you ok with her having guy friends around?

Now, as for the new girl, forget what everyone's pushing you to date or not date her. It's about what you want. But in my opinion, you should just be friends in my time being until you are totally done with the ex. The new girl sounds more like a rebound.

I know it's been 6 months but sometimes it could take as longer than that depending on serious your relationship was. It's hard. But from my experience, I find it easier when you are doing something completely different from your routine life.

I have never put any limits on her. Never told her she can't talk to a guy before. Never checked her phone. She hung out with other guys and went to concerts with them etc. and I never once started a fight or told her no. There is obvious trust issues. I just wish she could get over them. It just feels like I'll never stop having these feelings for her.

She's been hurt badly because of the new relationship too, but she understands. And I just want to give her everything and make it okay, but those trust issues worry me.

I've seen lots of relationships where they don't allow the other party to have opposite sex friends. I have this female friend who dated this one guy who was so jealous of other guys that he forbade her to have any guy friends. Really stupid. I have no interest in her other than as a friend but he can't handle it. It's not like he doesn't know me. But some people have trust issues. I don't think it's right to keep someone from hanging with anybody. If they are so insecure, they shouldn't dating in the first place.

Have you told her that she needs to trust you or else it doesn't work. That obviously matters to you. For some people, they just cut everyone loose that allows their relationships to continue but I don't think you seem to be going that route.

I think I might need to force that a little more. I usually try to voice my opinion but she never lets me. I'll try sitting her down and talking to her about it one more time and I'll get back to you. Thanks for all the help Jewelman