Coping After A Break-Up

I broke up with my ex last September and it was very difficult as we have a son together. It came as a shock to me as I was still very much in love with her, and to my shock she was seeing someone else within days (I suspect before as well, but since we're now apart there's no point raking over that old ground).

I know I'm over her now, as if we didn't have our boy I wouldn't contact her or think about her, but she moved away about 300 miles away. As a result I don't get to see my son often due to the nature of our work, his nursery etc.

The big thing is it really is breaking my heart, I went from seeing him every single day, to weekends, to nothing. I feel like it would be easier for her if I just wasn't around but I want to be a part of everything he does.

When he was born, she had a caesarian section so after the doctors cleaned him up, I was the first one to hold him, to look into his eyes, to kiss him. Afterwards she felt so week, I was the first to change his nappy and me and he have/had a very close bond.

Despite the fact that he's only just under 3 I felt like I'd found my best friend on Earth and it really is depressing to not see him (I have tears in my eyes just typing this).

I'd just like to hear from other people who've been through similar things as the world is becoming a very dark place for me right now.

Thanks, and sorry for going on.
A

AndyTheBassMan, welcome to the forum.

I am not American, but couldn't you file a claim at court that you, as the father, has the right to see your son an x-times a week and therewith making her the person having to fulfill the obligation to living within proximity in order to do so?

There must be something in the law that protects fathers from their children being torn away from them by distances? Have you ever checked it?

Hi Ayngel

I'm not American either, I am from Britain and I never checked this sort of thing as I've always had the impression that the mother has all the rights.

I have no issues with access, that's never been a problem. It's more a case of our differing nature of work. I work such irregular hours being a musician and my ex works in an office. I think it would be counter-productive for the boy if I just turn up out of the blue on any given day.

I know I need to work on altering my work life to fix this problem but currently it's impossible.

I'm very interested to hear of anyone else who's been through something similar.

Thank you for your response and advice!

Ah, that's a whole different story then. If you are a musician and working irregular hours it definitely changes all. Indeed I think that trying to get some schedule into your life would surely help with that.

Stay strong.