Dating a Guy who has 5 kids to his EX & is still living under the same Shelter with her.

Hi, I'm pretty new to this site, so please Bare with me. I Goggled Relationships in hopes of finding Answers to my one problem, hoping that Someone would help me out.

I've been In a relationship with a Guy who still lives with the Mother of His Kids. I met this man at my mothers funeral Strange but true. This time last year we started dating.. Jumping into a Relationship was the last thing on my mind, I've just lost my mother - It's the last thing I want, BUT I did & it happened. I knew from the beginning that it shouldn't happen but it couldn't be helped. Just days of knowing him I felt as if there was this connection between the 2 of us. I love him in a way that nobody would ever really understand, I knew he had baggage I mean c'mon what's a relationship without it huh, it would be dull boring, having been in this relationship things seems to be going sweet then sour. He claims there's no love between he & the mother of his kids & that he's only living there b/c of the children. 7 months on things weren't looking pretty good for he & I - we argued many times & make up with the great sex & what not. My family didn't like it & still don't as they think he still shares the same bed with the mother of the children OR that their still a couple, mind you when your in love no1 Else's opinion matters. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions NOT their own facts. It's a year & 2 months things are still the same. Now days when he threatens to leave his family the mother of his children threatens to take the children away from him, says that he will never have access to those kids more like she uses the kids as collateral, she does things in which would cause an argument between her & my partner. He tells me that he loves me & that I need to be patient with him & that nothings going on at home. He's 39 & is a Samoan Chief so he's pretty much high & mighty a man who speaks the truth [TRUTH] pssssh, & is born a decision maker. I said to him, if he was such a decision maker he would of made a bold decision & depart from where he is now & come be with me saves the children from hurting in the long run, I don't want them kids to be thinking it's OK to do what their dad is doing y'know totally unprofessional. He kept saying things like I'll be living with you next month, & so forth yeah that was two months ago promises promises . He comes to me when he needs someone to talk too or when he needs something that I don't mind being in his presence brings me to life I'd stare at him wondering how long he'd stay.
I feel as if there's 3 people in this relationship & that he's limited - the longest I've spent with him is 7 hours & that is throughout the whole year we've been dating. We talk about future plans & having children, living together etc. He comes to me when he's had an argument with the mother of the kids - I asked him a few months back if she was aware that he's seeing someone else he said yes she knows. The things she [the mother of the kids] does is take the car off him so that he doesn't go anywhere, then she goes to the Doctors & claims he's given her an Infection & was supposedly given to her by the guy I'm seeing at that time I thought hmmmmm something wasn't right, he had to go in to get himself checked & came out clear then he came around rapist hour claiming it was all made up & that the doctor lied about it b/c he was told to by the mother of his kids unbelievable huh. My partner & I argued over that, it led me to believe he was still sleeping with her.. he said he wasn't & that she would do anything to get his attention. I ended up going to the sexual health clinic to get checked as I might have it.. within a week my results came out clear. The things people do aye,, totally UN-COOL. Now she's abusing the children as she knows it will make him mad & then they argue. I had to put up with this for a whole year.. I just need some advice from people as to what they think I should do.

I love the guy with all of my heart but the way I see it is that the mother of the kids is doing this in hopes he leaves who ever he's seeing & go back to her. He said he doesn't love her, yet he's still living under the same shelter. Is there hope in this relationship ??

Finally! I'm a single mother my self and going through the same issue as you.

Hey I was googling and came across your post. I live with my kids father and he sees someone else or many people dont know call me stupid if you want but we still sleep together, its the comfort and experience and Id bet hands down he and his kids mother still sleep together. Dont be naive. Especially if shes not throwing him out cuz if she was real sick of him hed be gone thats why hes not. My boyfriends and islands guy too, hes probably still with her essentially. Hes playing you! Wake up! Your just providing him with a good opportunity you deal with it and so he gets 2 women (maybe more who knows!?!). Leave you have more to offer someone dont settle for less.

Cheers for the message - Update: Since my last post things have changed for the better, the Chief & I are now married & living together & we're expecting our first baby whom is due to be born on April 25th 2010 funny cause it's due on Chiefs birthday wicked huh ? Anyway they say everything happens for a reason & I guess there was a reason why I held on to a relationship I thought wasn't gonna last. Since the last time I was on here.. things weren't looking too promising but I never gave up hope that one day he & I will be together.. I always kept the faith that Love will win in the end. He & his 2 older boys moved out & moved in with me & my 3.. in November we got engaged then just last month I finally became his WIFE.. I can honestly say that all that heartache & pain was worth it in the end I've never been more happier - He has made such a happy girl out of me, for those that think a relationship like mine isn't worth pursuing think again I held on patience did me wonders in the end along sides the love I had for the guy. Never give up .... A relationship as screwed up as mine was back then will indeed have a happy ending. I had to fight for what I believed in I fought to the end & here I am Happy & In Love!