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I have been dating a guy for the past two months. We click on so many levels, and since we are both coming out of divorces, it is a much needed breath of fresh air. However, he has 2 daughters...I have no children. I am a teacher, and I have heard that we make the worst parents...I am slowly realizing that this may not be too far from the mark.
The man I am seeing is still searching for his "role" with his children, and it irks me to no end that there are no rules or boundaries when the girls come to visit. I can tell that there isn't a lot of structure when they aren't with their dad either. I try to think that if these were my students, I would have established rules for when they are at in my "class". The kids learn seem to thrive when they know what their schedule is and what thier limits are. I am only the new girlfriend, though.
What is my role? I am used to being in charge, but I do not feel comfortable sharing my opinions with him. I don't want to sound critical of his parenting, especially since I have no children of my own. I would like to have a relationship with his children, but since I feel I am always biting my tongue, I make myself scarce when they come to visit.
His ex feels that we should be taking them places when they come to visit every weekend. First, funds are limited, so I would only be able to go places with them that are inexpensive. They are kids of divorced parents, so they are used to being spoiled and going to NYC- no holds barred. Second, every time I have been with his children, she pumps them for info on what we did. She finds fault with random things that she ususally has deducted happened. (Mental note: we have only been dating 2 months and I have only been around his kids a few tiems...drama already forming in this short amount of time from their mom). Finally, I am concerned about liability. No joke. Maybe because I am a spec. ed. teacher, I am always concerned about lawsuits and accountability. Maybe I should have her sign a permission slip...even still, there is no insurace attached.
So, where do I go from here? I don't want to tell him how to raise his children, but then a big part of me wants to smack him upside the head letting for letting his children (they are 6 and 3) have no bedtime, eat whatever they want (chips for breakfast), watch TV for disgusting amount=s of time, use crayon all over the walls, hide my keys for my car so I have to stay when I need to go to home, paint the table with nail polish... Help!
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