Dating not quite divorced guy: Should I give him advice on the divorce?

My BF of 6 months is about to finalize his divorce from his wife of 20+ years. He is contemplating some concessions in the property settlement of his divorce that will keep him tied to her financially for a long time (e.g., helping her refinance her house and leaving his name on the mortgage to help her qualify).

I have told him that it is not a good idea, that I know several guys who have done this and really regretted it, but he seems to be considering it anyway. What I haven't told him is that if he does this, I will definitely not be interested in a long-term relationship or marriage with him. I do not like the idea that "we" would be limited in what we could do financially because of this previous commitment. Plus, his ex is terrible at managing money, so in order to protect his credit, he will most likely fall into the trap of making her house payment for her for many years to come.

He has said numerous times that he wants to remarry, has "hinted" that he wants a future with me, but we haven't made any specific plans to marry. I think that it is implied that we are heading that way, and I would like to keep that option open, but we haven't discussed it.

My question is: should I tell him that this is a dealbreaker? I feel awkward about it, since he hasn't actually said he wants to marry me...

Thanks!

Regardless of plans to marry, he is setting himself for financial trouble. If he wants to pay for his ex-wife, then ask him if he has enough money to provide for all three of you. If he says yes, find out what the specifics are.

Thanks for your reply. I do know all about his finances and supporting his ex-wife would put a real strain on "our" finances.

I decided to talk with him about it last night and I told him that I was really concerned about it. I just said that I knew we hadn't discussed marriage and that I didn't even know if he was interested, but just in case he was, he should know that I would never marry into a situation where the ex-wife had so much financial control over my life. He took it really well, said, "well, that's why I told you, I wanted your opinion," and told me this morning that he had told her he would not do it.

Yay! Thanks for your help!

Hey, I am about to leave a guy that just won't get the divorce done yet... they have been split for 5 yrs, and I have been seeing him for over 1