dating someone going through divorce

"dating" someone going though a divorce....I met someone almost a year ago, he had just filed for divorce because his wife of 10 years had been cheating for at least 2 years, he gave her chances but she refused to give up the other relationship. I have been a widow for 2 years. We both have children. At first we went out a couple times and would see each other now and then at places we both go with our kids. For a few months we hardly spoke, I thought that was it, but we ran into each other one night and after that spent almost every day together, just hanging out and having fun both with and without the kids. It was perfect, we both were comfortable and liked spending time together. We started getting closer and started to hug and cuddle on the couch while watching TV. He was very nervous about anything else and even felt confused after cuddling because it had only been with his wife for all those years and it felt awkward for him at first. We got past that and things were still good, one night he stopped in with a friend, we went out and had a few drinks, that night we ended the night with a very little peck of a kiss. The next day he kept say "friends" this and that, several times. I felt sad but understood how it was strange for him. Now things are awkward, I don't know where we stand. He has still invited me over and comes around, but it just seems different, he is being much more distant, I think it scared him and I want to give him whatever space he needs but at the same time don't want him to disappear completely. He says he wants to hang out, but it just doesn't seem the same. There are other factors that make it difficult too, his very close friend likes me a lot, he's unhappily married and comments about me to him. His wife makes things difficult too. Advice???

Wait for the divorce to go through before you get too involved.

Yeah, I am going through the pain of what can happen. if he isnt completely divorced, and he is pushing away, you could end up watching him give her yet another chance. When someone is with somebody for a long time, and has endured the cheating and whatever else, they seem to keep trying because they feel like they failed and haven't given up on those feeling they have for their spouse. You need to be the only one in the relationship. You dont want to be where you have to share the heart of the one you want to be with. Trust me, you dont get over the heartahce and the pain when something they get back together. Guy is right, if you want to pursue a relationship with him, wait until he is divorced.

I think you are both right and I have been keeping my distance. We started getting close before and he needed space for a while this time he was a little more ready, now he needs time again. I don't think it has a lot to do with him wanting her back at all but more to do with the fact that he is afraid of another bad relationship. She was very controlling and still tries to be. He has come a long way and in time who knows...he is a great person and I am in no rush, I am not 100% ready either. It is still awkward after loosing my husband, maybe thats why he and I are comfortable together, we are both way too slow for most others...lol Maybe we will just stay close friends, we really enjoy each others company, and love each others kids although I have to say carving pumpkins with the 7 kids, was funny....could have been a reality show! Thanks for the response, sometimes it's nice just to talk about it with people who can relate.

sojo...sorry you are going through that right now. I hope that things look up for you soon. I think if things are meant to be they will fall into place eventually and if not, there is just a different plan for you. Good luck with everything you are going through.