Even older people hurt when it comes to love.

I am hurting and do not know what to do, I hope to get some good advice. I think background is important in this case.

I am 44, Divorced, 11 years, have a sweet 16 yr daughter. and have only had 2 semi-serious relationships in that time. However, 1 month ago, I received an email on FB, with my name and the words "from Cali?" I could see who it was from, and was shocked, It was my GF from 26 yrs ago, in fact we almost got ingaged. We knew each other for 6 years meet in our younger HS days, but it was a very long distance relationship. But we maaged for 6 years. I went off to the Marines and she stayed in NC. It never ended bad, it just stopped.

So, now i get her email, and we have once again became best of friends, but its turned into a love nightmare. She is seeing someone else, but tells me she wants to be with me. She has listed all the reasons she doesnt want to be with her current BF. Some are for safty, he has threatend to hurt himself if she leaves him. This was said early in their 2.5 yr old relationship. Her current BF is 30 yrs old she is 41, he has came right out and told her he will not get married, he dosent want to change how things are in the relationship. She only wants to leave him after a 1 yr lease is up, she promised not to hurt his credit report. nk, She also dosent want to leave because of anouther man, since that would be hard to deal with then just leaveing because of to many differences.

I am in love with this woman, I can feel it, and I believe we are meant to be together, she even agrees. I have been open and honest with her, saying, that I can only take a few months of her being with him, If she truly wants me. she will need to decide either way, and allow closure for the other person to start.

To make matters worse, last month we talked for 1500 mins, text for 866 times. I was able to take care of my phone bill, for just 40 bucks more, her Phone bill was over 400 bucks, and its in his name. So, Im worried that the cat will soon be out of the bag, and she will have to answer for us talking so much.

I know some may find it hard to understand, but I love this woman with all of my heart. I know, she Knows, that we are meant to be. So much so it hurts that we are not now.

What can I do to help her, I give her space, tell her that only she knows whats right for her.

Im lost and confused and in love for the 1st ime in my 44 yrs of life.

You said you could only take a few months, but it came down to waiting for a year, would you do it? However, the phone bill issue could be the break that you want, because he may leave her instead of the other way around. If that becomes the case, then his credit report and threat to hurt himself won't matter. Your idea of giving her space is good because it helps her to be comfortable with whatever choice she makes.

I am in a similar position, but I have lost her back to the guy twice already. Now that we are really back together now, she is so different. I cant tell you that this is a good idea. It hasnt been real easy on me. I am wanting a real relationship now, and she doesnt. I feel like I am a jerk for wanting to be with her so bad, but I have waited for 16 years to be with her. I have dated and have had some serious relationships. Nevertheless, I have always wanted to be with ehr. She was married to the guy for 15 and before that I was gone with the miliatry. Now She can be mine, but spends her time with her kids, family and friends. I get to see her now and then, but it doesnt sem fair to me. I feel that I am your future. I dont know how long they were together, you may have said it in your passage and I forgot but let her heal before you two start anything. I was so eager, that i am afraid I have ruined things just as much as she has by going back to him.