cheating ex....but i want him back

Hey well this is the story, it all started when iwent on holidays 2 years ago with my friends family and my friends sister was friends with this fella who is gay but they introduced me to his brother who was the same age as me we got on like a house on fire we just had the same humour but the only problem was i was 2 young i was only 14 at the time he lives in the same town as me and he got my number and texted me when i got home to ask meto the cinema but i got scared and i never texted back also he had long hair and i wasnt really physically attractive to him ut anyway forgot bout him until 4 years later..............i saw him at his bros 21st and he was wiith a girl and i was thinkin wow he is HOTT!!! he cut his hair and now his gorgeous so he had a gf so nothing really crossed my mind then....

but a few months after i just turned 18 his also 18 i was out and was outside the nightclub and saw him there and i was a bit tipsy at the time and went up and talked to him so he came with me to get my friends and all of a suddeden we just started holding hands and kissing ( i had the biggest smile on my face it was like it was stapled on my mouth)he told me he saw me at the 21st and he thought i looled unreal and i looked unreal in the picture he saw in the newspaper a few monthslate he kept sayin ur so cute u keep smiling nd i was like im just in shock that were togeter 4 years later and he asked me bout myself i told him i ws very understanding and he smiled held me so tight at that very moment i thought this is it...this is my
soulmate i knew it and i still know it even if were not together well still be friends then he drove my friend home and me home and he wanted to take my number we both knew that we wanted to be with eachother..and he asked me, why didnt you text me back 4 years ago (i actually forgot about it....wooopsie) and i just told him i was too young and he said im giving you my number and you have to text me cos i know you wot text me so i waited for 4 days and we started texting and finally we went to the the cinema it was sooooo much fun it was like i was friends with him for years we could talk about everything and he brought up all his family issues he could tell me everything how his parents are never around and hs bros arent either other there all in foreign countries and his living on his own and has to pay for collge...so i started really liking him we have a strange connection always being silly together mocking eachother and messing around and being cheeky just really exciting and non stop laughing together and all da time we had no problem throwing insults at each other like best friends do jokingly of course and then we would kiss and makeup....awwwwww but the only problem he told me that he cheated on one of his ex's because she cheated on him first put was only a relationship that was set up and she was just using him to go to the prom and went out with his best friend..secoud gf who was 20much older than him andshes stunning i always wondered why he sid 'the state of her' but then i found out she cheated on him.....with a threesome.... the both relationships only lasted 3 months so this boy has been through alot at home and through his social life and i really think it can cause problems pyschologically but he told me the only time he could cheat on someone was if he got really drunk and he would feel so bad if it was someone like me who he really wants to be with cos i was different (is dat what all guys say???) and then he goes i would really would like to be in a relationship with someone like you because this is the age for relationships....so then i had a think about it because i was already in a 1 year and a half relationship with someone just broke up with him in good terms about a year ago but he wassuch sweet guy but i just wasnt attracted to him any more so i thought maybe i dont want another one....but as i spent time with him that night i relised i could be letting my soulmate go or i could miss something amazing so i said yes!!!!


but then i had a constant pain in the pit of my stomach like something was going to go wrong and that it was tooo good to be true

we went out together and all his friends who we met all said how the hell did you catch her shes way above your standards!!even his uncle kept saying jokingly to me you must get glasses i felt like telling them all to shut up if you saw the boy his gorgeous!! but he walks around the place acting like his unreal too he comes across kinda cocky with all his chat up lines but im the only one who knows the real him his act insecure he told me im the girl who was mad bout him and it was only after i realised (okay im getting to the point in a minute )

but anyway we both decided we would set up his single friend and my cousin together who are still madlly in love with eachother so we went on a double date at his friend house and had so much fun and i told him i respected my self and i wasnt bit easy that he would half to be patcient and that i didnt want to just have sex and rush into it to quickly (like the relationship...nyway)and he said he thought i would wait 5 months nyway(so i thought his thinking about a long relationship) well thats what i thought...... when we were going out i kept getting really sick and couldnt see him and also had school and his in college so it was hard so .

the week after the double date my cousin and his friend started going out and dey all went out a saturday night with out me because i had exams on monday so he was ok with it i told him i would make it up to him the week after........................................until i woke to a text the next morning tellling me he cheated on me i was absolutely devastated i knew deep down he could not have meant that after liking me for 4 years and then throwing it all away (it always happens dat the ones you really love hurts you) but anyway i texted him and asked him was it true and he admitted straight away and said he was really sorry there was no excuse for it but he was really drunk but dats no excuse and and that i deserve to be treated better than that .

anywho........i texted him a really strong confident message as i am a daddys girl he helped me on that one hahaha i told him he was write and that i did deserve better and that i never want anything to do with him again understandingly angry message.. but the surprising thing was he never text back not once 2 weeks later i was still gon crazy i had to sit my exams constantly going over it in my head.i was sooo angry and upset i never want that to happen again and i kept hearing stories from my cousin that he has moved on and just doesnt care i just didnt understand it.

so stupid me texts him asking him what was going on, and he said i didnt think you wanted me to keep texting you and i goes well i didnt no how you felt or if you even want me back and he said of course i still want to go out with you, and i said how was i suppose to no that and i fliped and said look i just think we should b friends anyway i didnt mean it at all........
ohh ya and to add i kind of kissed one of his frends to get revenge like an immature child would do....also regret but he didnt seem to care he just said ohh 'i didnt think he would get her, good for him'!!!(what the hell like)

i sooo regret saying that, every weekend i saw him out with us, and he was out one night and he apologised for everything to my face so we shook hands and then they all set me up wih this guy and my ex started flirting with this girl.....but i just wanted to be with him not that guy all i wanted was my ex j. so we went to a house after and had so much fun having piggy back races up the road and then i started flirting with him and when i saw him talking to other girls my eyes started watering up i had to say something so at the house we were both trying get away from the people who we were with, so the two of us ended up in one of the room laughing and joking like old times cos we were trying hide from dem, so we both were lying in the bed and started chatting about 'us' and he told me how he was so jealous seeing me with him and i told him the truth how much he made me feel so low when he use to ignored me when we were out but he just thought it was normal that we wernt talking anymore, and he really opened up to me he found it very hard to say it i nearly had to say the words for him i really sould have shut my mouth anyway he said he wanted me back and i said i wanted it too, but it would take time for me to trust him again and that i couldnt kiss him because i thought it was the wrong thing to do, so we decided we would just hangout as friends for while so we talked alot and went to da beach and had so much fun lke the old times but after a few days i got really impatcient i just wanted to spent time with him so we were out one night and i asked him to come out with us and he said he couldnt get a drive down cos his car was in the garage and he was broke but all of a sudden he just showed up it was really sweet of him he does small things da make mesmile his not a big romantic guy but the small things just count. butthen every1 kept telling me dat he really likes me but he doesnt want to come up 2 me cos his scared or something ha so finally he came taling to me and cheesly startd sying chat uplines and talking to me in french.. and i kissed him (it was hot) but then
he goes il b back in a mintute i m goin talkin to the girls i ws flaming withjelous after i kissed him he wants to go flirt with other girls and everyone kept complementing him telling me how handsome he was i think it went to his head i walked away to my friends then and they were warning me to stay away and i went dancing with him for a while but he told he wanted to go talk to the boys i really got pissed off because i actually gave in and kissed him and he didnt even want to be with me anymore and after i preteneded he wasnt there and he dod the exact same flirting with girls in front of me telling them chat up lines i was so upset and sober haha


the worst part was i held all the anger in i texted him when i went home and said what is your problem, and text back what wrong with you , and i send 2 msgs but he was asleep apparently so he never texted back then i textd anther one appologising......(WHY?????? i have no idea) i just said in the message that i just want to be friends AGAIN and i couldnt believe that he just ignored me!!


and we were out the next night and i took him aside and i just said luk ive forggotten bout everything that happened andi forgive and forget everything and dont want us to fall out (how nice was i??) nyway i do relise though i kept rubbing it to him dat it was his fault and that his lucky to be friends with me after we broke up (so that was kind of mean) but things just slip out when im with him im so honest around him and so carefree


but then he started getting very distant he wouldnt even look at me anymore he was being an ass 2 weeks later he had a new gf and ask her out after a week i was devasted when i found out and missed the him so much until i found out she broke up with him because she was too young or something even the girl who he cheated on was nonly little 16 year old was it even worth it he loves the little girls now, i have a feeling that its because there on the same imature level as his is.but im crazy about him he just does'nt relise it.

after that i saw him out a few times and he was a total ass to me insulting me ignoring me being just a dickhead like. but i really jst feel sorry for him he was complaning to my friend that he never gets dumped and he was so angry and she said to him well sweetie dumped you 2 and he said well i was an ass to her!!( he has some ego problems) he kissed the girl he cheated on me with in front of me and now he meets up with her now and again. which was hard i cried so much over him he really ruined my summer but i really think it ws half my fault because i drove him away im soo supid i really missed him after all he did and i texted him a short and simple msg telling him i still liked him and he never texted back and my cousin told me he said he didnt have credit but wasnt going to text back anyway and he was being an ass to me when we were out again



well anyway its been 4 months since we broke up and i believe it wasnt a real relationship we met up only 4 times and then he cheanted after 6 weeks because he was 'drunk' he did warn me and i just didnt thnik it would happen to me and i told him that if he did it to me that he would be gone like a flash!!!! ha ha that really didnt happen 9 i know its not a laughing matter i just like to see the funny side of things )!!!
but i was out last week at a house party and i passed and said 'long time no see' and smiled and i said hi and just passed him then he started being distant again and pretending i wasnt there and after a while all the akwardness went away and we started talking but he was being mean to me infront of his friend joking around but he was also doing the same with his friends 2 so it was only a bit of fun and he threw cream on my face it was funny(i wish i started a cake ight with him to show the girl i really am) but at dat stage i was totally wasted had a bit to drink haha, so i stayed up with him and his 2 friends talking and his friend saw the dress iam going to wear tomorrow night and said oh shes wearing that dress tomorrow night and my ex said.....UNREAL!!! and then 5 mins later he knew i was listening and he goes to the boys ' girls who wear those dresses are lesbians'hahaha he did it i think because he regretted what he said ,but the 4 of us stayed up drinking having fun til 7 in da morning and when i feel asleep on the floor i saw him putting a blanket over me which was so sweet!! those little things really get me



but anyway 4 months later and i never can get him out of my mind he wants to be 'friends' we really cant throw away everything like i only see him now when his out because his back in college so its good that we have space, but i just want him back i bet his going to be out tomorrow night and i'll be wearing that dress . i really dont want to give up on him, because i still feel there is something there im his only girl-friend that he has he doesnt tell people much but he tells me everything and i really have sympathy for him its not just that. im absolutely mad about him and wish this disater never happend, so i was thinking of inviting him to my prom which is on in a few months because il have soooo much fun with him ad im so comportable around him... but i dont know if he would go and if its a good idea, also he has piercings and my dads really judgemental about boys with them and he knows that he was an ass to me.
but i just dont no how to start bringing the pieces back together, do you think it will ever be the same again i really want to b with him... i feel we will again in the future when it ll blows over, or maybe he has completly moved on and doesnt want me anymore? but how will i react tomorrow night??? i want him to want me back again for the person he wanted before not for the pyscho !!!!!!!!!!!!




PLEASE HELP ME I DONT NO WHAT TO DO!!! so many questions i would appreciate your time to help me!!!!

Hello Sweetie, welcome to the forum

I think you should have a serious talk with your ex. in which you both should be honest to each other and also tell what one expects of the other.

Agreed, and honestly from experience and from my friends stories too cheaters are always cheaters!

thank you for your advice still don't know what to do because if i talk to him i'm afraid he will get scared don't want to tell him how i really feel again last time he got really distant,recently tho i have heard him say really nice things about me behind my back saying i'm a lovely girl but he doesn't have time for a reltionship and he also says i deserve better and last time i saw him out he told me i looked unreal and he was saying to his friends that he wanted to just walk over and kiss me but he wouldn't!! i invited him to my prom and he said yes it will b great fun, but were only 'friend' which is even more confusing because now we only talk when were out, maybe at the prom we can talk things out and i can just. I really don't know whats going on with this boy its all a bit messed up, i thought i would forive and forget everything what happened because i think he is worth it am i just being weak should i let go and forget how i feel?????? were only 18 should i just give him the space he needs and let go widsh it was that simple he always on my mind it's crazy!!!

Yeah, like everyone else says, you should talk to him. I don't think it's a bad idea to see how it's like to be friends if you can. Personally, I think especially at a young age, there's so much more to learn about who you are. There are lots of people I know who have dated at a point in the past, broke up and got back together in a much further date and it worked better. But none of us should ever be afraid to let go.

yah!!!! everything is going brilliant for me, i'm done with him i only realised 6 months later that his not even worth it and i can do 100% times better than him i had enough of it and learned to let go!!!
, his da tipical college fella who only wants one thing! he doesnt even text back after i asked him to my debs i waited 4 days and he was being an asshole so i text him told him it's not a good idea 2 bring him 2 my debs cos dont want him to feel underpressure meeting my parents and stuff and i also said 'all what i have done is tryed to be nice to you and ou throw it all back in my face' his a coward he text back saying that he was just about to text me back but that he only got credit....BULLSHIT!! oh and no hard feelings see you around!! At least it's all okay now and i'm ready to move on except for the weird dreams i have been having lately about him and me still going out hopefully they will go away! but anyway your right i am so young and have learned so much in just 1 year and now i can start the new year with a fresh begining maybe something could happen in the future but i'm not going to think about it and leave the past behind me just live for the present because thats all that counts i feel i'am back to myself again i felt so powerless and insecure thinking he was the only one i wanted!but i'm back feeling independant powerful and not going to let any man make me feel low again, thank you for all of your advice i think anyone has to go through things themselves to really see it! p.s Happy Christmas and a happy new year

I'm glad you figured it out. Doesn't it feel great that there are no strings left and you are in control of your life? All the stuff you said.. it sounds like a new Taylor Swift song. Funny. LOL Happy holidays!