Found Out My Bf Is Secretly Bi Sexual

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I recently went to visit my bf who lives 3 hrs away...I went to surprise him and seen on my bf computer his craigslist account - he left it open, I first noticed woman seeking men and casual encounters highlighted.

He is a craigslist junkie..posts and sells on it all the time.

I hit his account button and for some reason looked hit the subject of casual encounters listings. He had several - not recent, some were from his last marriage, and apparently they were into *****, which he has always denied and lied about - I had suspected it because I googled his email and seen where it was linked to an online swingers...he totally denied it, even after I said it didnt bother me that they may have explored...but he swore.

Once I seen him and his ex’s craiglist add - they were for extra woman and one for an extra man.

The others one right before we started dating stating he was bisexual and requested a man to just basically have a good time and leave.

Then the last one was while we were into the relationship about 3 months...mind you this man has ALWAYS enforced how he never cheats...anyways this post was for a freaky woman, that he was a straight man looking for a woman to use a strap on.

We have been together for a year, I deeply miss him - but he is one of these guys who bashes gays...rides a Harley, has tatts and as I have recently discovered has a compulsive flirting behavior with chats etc. on fb -

I broke it off with him because I did not know how to comfront him - he is basically has accused me of cheating, having someone...sending me mean emails stating he knows I am ***** around....when in fact I have been crying nonstop for two days...I have never even flirted with another man....but yet our last break up was because I seen where he had woman sending him pics...of course he said he never cheated on me and just like to feel good by these other woman to get attention.

Do I comfront him? Does he flirt with other woman because secretly he likes men and wants to feel more manly...and bashing because of his own guilt?

That last fight he swore he trashed his other phone so no one knew his a new phone/number...then said he threw his computer into the ocean...kept the computer lie strong...had to go out of his way every weekend I came in to hide it somewhere (I believe he let it at work) - I always knew he lied about it...thought it was stupid to rid your computer...I wanted to surprise him and came a day early...seen the laptop and that was when I opened it and uncovered everything else.

I broke it off with him and told it was because he boldly lied about the computer and how could I trust him...since then I noticed he has reengaged with some woman that were a problem on fb - and already having friends come in and set up a party at a local bar for next weekend...

I dont understand his behavior - we have been together over a year, just got engaged and he is acting like we never happened...he never came after me...just sent me emails accusing me of things I never did...stating I always accused him of things (which were legit) and it is usally the one that does the accusing is who is guilty.

I need to get over him - I just need to understand why and his behavior...and should I tell him what I discovered or leave it buried.

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment or give me a


  • gummybears: even if you gnfront him... what do you gain? he’s either going to deny it like he has been and/or just get angry.
    so no real good will come of it for you.
    as to you trying to get over hi., the first step is to actually get him out of your mind, to stop thinking about him. so wondering what’s up in his head sure isnt helping you get over him. :). it takes time but eventually it fades. just try to get involved in something you like and enjoy.
  • Heartbroken: I am dealing with a similar situation. Caught my bf of about a year on Craigslist a few years back on m4m. Said he was just emailing and "you know me. I’m too shy." Denied ever doing anything. Now he’s admitted to me the emails are happening again and have been off and on throughout our almost 6 years together :-( still denied any physical contact. He said he would get help. Then I dug a little deeper. Found a post in missed connections about a guy 3 or 4 years ago he fooled around with. So what am I to think? Confronted him and of course that’s the only time right? Well I’m not convinced. And I’m freaking out. And I don’t know what to do. He says he wants help....I want to believe that things can change. I don’t want to lose my whole life again. (Not the first longtime relationship I’ve been cheated on in :’-( )

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