Friends After Breakup?

Hey,

Up until a few days ago I've been going out with a girl for about a month which I met at high school. We always spent alot of time together during both university and high school classes and of coarse in the afternoons when we were both free. We were sending hundreds of sms's to each other daily and having great fun just spending time with each other.

I felt that we both had a special connection, which I've never felt with any other girl. I thought everything was going really well until a few hours after we went to a movie she sent me a sms. It roughly said that she didn't feel our relationship had a 'spark'. After talking to her, she said that she has some feelings towards another guy. I was surprised/shattered. I insisted that we talk it over face to face and not via the phone.

The next day we met up and started to talk. I told her exactly how I felt towards her and asked her if she wanted to continue our relationship. She didn't want to give me a straight answer at first. She kept saying that she didn't want to hurt me or this other guy. She soon said that if it were to end between us she would not start a proper relationship with the other guy. I told her that she knows how I feel and it's completely up to her to make the decision whether or not to stay with me.

By the end of the night she told me that it would be best it our relationship was to end because she didn't want to hurt me any further. I was crushed and heart-broken. Before we said our final goodbyes she gave me a passionate hug and kiss and said she's sorry and that she still has strong feelings towards me but it would be best if it ended.

Later that night she kept sending me sms's saying she's sorry and that she still wants to be my friend and also go to the formal dance with me (as we had planned earlier). I didn't know what to say so I briefly said that I need time to think about it.

I'm happy that she was 100% honest with me and that I didn't find out about the other guy off someone else. I know we still have feelings towards each other and am worried that maybe in the future she'll want to go out with me again.

My question is, should we continue to be friends and go to the formal together or would this complicate things even further and make the breakup even harder than it is? And what should I do if she was to ask me out in the future?

I still feel like crap about the whole thing and can't stop thinking about her and all the good times we had. She was smart, funny, gorgeous and most importantly had a really great personality, which is what makes this so hard.

Thanks.

Post edited by: Pez, at: 2008/04/16 03:12

Post edited by: Pez, at: 2008/04/16 03:21

Hi Pez, welcome to the forum

I am sorry to say that if she has feelings for another guy there is not much you can do

I wish you strength to go through this period - but that honestly is the only thing I can write.

If you have feelings for her you should not stay her 'friend' because that makes detaching yourself from her emotion-wise even harder. You will -I hope- one time meet the girl that was meant for you and your feelings should be free by that time

Thanks for your response ayngel.

It'll be hard not to stay her friend, as much as I think that we shouldn't, because of all the classes etc we have together. I know she'll still talk to me whenever she sees me.

See it as a test, Pez. It sure will be hard, but you gotta think about yourself. She is doing the same.

I'm slowly but surely gaining the confidence in myself to know that I'll make the right decisions when needed. Talking here really does help.

Thanks again for your help ayngel. I really appreciate it.

My pleasure, Pez. I am not a 'professional' relationship consultant, though. You know that, don't you? I just give you my opinion and my impression and talk about the experiences of what I learned in life

Yeah, I'm fully aware of that, but sometimes experience can provide more help than any 'fancy degree'.

OK. Then. Whatever is the "problem" one's confidence in oneself is the basic starting point one gotta work from. If this is missing things get a lot more 'messier"