Girl I want... likes someone else.

Well, I feel horrid. I've been flirting with a friend of mine for almost a year now. She's my dream girl, I just never was confident enough that she liked me to ask her out. She's made it noticeable now that she at least considered dating me at one point. However, our relationship has regressed from physical flirting to friendly conversation. She also has been flirting with a guy 2 years her elder (We're both seniors in high school, he a sophomore in college), and who really has few redeeming qualities other than physical appearance. I feel I've missed the boat on the girl of my dreams, and I don't know what to do. This guy is flirting with her and they'll likely be dating soon. I really don't understand why she is interested in him, maybe she's more shallow than I thought, or perhaps just desperate at this point. I wanted to take her to prom, wanted to establish something. Now it looks like I'll be nothing more than a friend. Can anyone tip me off as to how I can make her focus on me, and not this punk? Is there anything I can do if she considers me a friend to change that belief, especially after she starts dating this guy? Particularly, is there anything that can make her realize how unappealing this guy is? He's very shifty, and beyond all I really don't want him pressuring my friend into something she doesn't want to do. I don't mean to sound spiteful, but this is really ruining to my emotional state right now.

I'm sorry you feel so horrible. But I've said this many times on this forum and I think I should write a blog about it especially for you youngsters out there about girls. What's funny is that I just had that conversation with one of my female friends at dinner and she agreed with me.

Here it is and this is from many many years of my experience with girls. You can't change the way a girl feels about you no matter what you do. The movies and TV trick us guys to think that you can woo a girl by being sweet to her, doing something special or finding common interests to be your dream girl. It doesn't work that way. A girl usually will either feel that way about you or don't. I'm not saying that this girl will NEVER be interested in you but what I'm saying is all those other things don't matter. As long as the girl is attracted to a guy, she will date him and work around the problems whether he's an alcoholic, an abusive guy, a guy with no job, etc. That's how it works. And if any of you girls are reading this, tell me I'm wrong. Cause I have a big group of female friends of all ages from different circles who will all agree with me on this one.

So in your situation, if you don't want to be just her friend and she's into another guy, just stay away and find another girl. You're in school. You'll meet plenty of other girls. If this girl was meant to be with you, she will be someday when the timing is right. I understand she's your dream girl. I think all of us guys have had one of those in our lifetime. She's young and girls CHANGE a lot during that age(so do some of us guys). If you don't believe me, I had confessionals of girls who knew me when they were 18 then and now many years later admitted to me they were super mean to me back then and apologized for being stupid. True story. Don't feel too bad.

Thanks. This helps, and you're right. I should just move on and try and just stay friends with her. That's good enough for me, just I need to work out a good way to deal with this. I really appreciate the help, you seem to be more well-versed than myself in this.

You know how they say that girls or boys, want what they can't have. It is very True! But for girls, mostly teenagers. But like the other dude said lose this girl. Because you can't compete agains someone who's 2years older then you. And no girls are dream girls when your in high school, these girls changes personality more often then they change underwear! so dream girl today, might not be tomorrow. but getting over her, its really f'ing hard in the begining, but give it 2-3weeks max. but during that time, start looking for new "conquests"! and us your Boy friends. one of the few things that are true from hollywood, teenage girls, like popular boys!

PS. I am a noobie myself, so do not take what i say 100% serious. I might be wrong, but try it out.

I feel your pain. Had a similar situation happen to me but in my case she did like me and then when I finally realized I liked her she turned around and got someone else. twice. I'm kinda half over it. I too am a noob. Just want to make the crappy feeling go away but....All I've been told I can do is have hope and don't dwell at the same time (kinda doesn't make sense does it?) Basically don't dwell on it, live your life and if you guys end up together at some point then congrats. Have the hope but don't let it slow you down or keep you from doin what you gotta do bro.

shit lyk dis hapnd to me 2......was afraid o losin th girl if i askd her out...we had a good thing goin tho...wasted too much time.....n js wen i decided that the moment wud come soon.....she tells me that she recently started datin sum1 else....