Girlfriend of 3 and half years cheated on me and broke up with me.

Can’t believe she did that there is a guy in college that she likes and she cheated on me with him and told me his name –She told me she kissed him twice and that she likes him.

She then went out the next day to her college friends&I sent her lots of msg but got no reply.

The following day she broke up with me over a message.
I then called her ova and ova coz I did'nt understand.

She says that she doenst love me anymore.

But cares for me.

On her facebook profile she says that she feels whole again.

She still wants to be friends

The following day I saw that the same guy is calling her babes.

I really loved her and my love for her only grew stronger-I am torn apart my heart is broken and dunno what to do.
What must I do?????? please help

She cheated on you without breaking up with you first.
How can she say that she cares for you if she did that?
She also said that she doesn't love you anymore.
Don't give her the satisfaction of being "friends".
Focus on yourself and don't let her tempt you.

A year ago i was in your situation. I was totally and utterly in love with my boyfriend and by then we had been together for 1 half years. He had gone to uni, which i found difficult. Anyway, i found out he had slept with someone else, 3 weeks after it happened, only as my best friend found out. i was heart broken, and like you for some strange reason i couldnt let him go. i decided to forgive him. HOWEVER, although i said i forgave him, the pain it caused never let me forget. we broke up 7 weeks ago, after nearly 3 years together. The truth is if she has cheated on you, you will not be able to trust her, even if you think you can. You will be angry, even if you dont want to. I stayed with my boyfriend but it built up for a year and was so scared of getting hurt again. Apart of me hated him, which wasnt right, yet i still loved him more than anything in the world. I finished it in an argument, purely out of anger. Not for one second did i mean it but i became insecure and it made me react and change into a person i didnt want to be. Many times i have tried to get him back but each time he has said no as i hurt him to much for breaking up with him. Ive given in trying although im constantly hoping he would change is mind and ask for me back. Im not going to lie to you, it still hurts now, and i know how confused and how much pain you will be in. To love someone so much, whilst they dont want you anymore is very difficult to get over. I can tell you though it does get easier. Take each day as it comes. If you still want her now, you will still want her for a long time, but you will begin to accept the situation. I was in such a bad place, couldnt eat, sleep, etc. You will come to realize; why hurt so much over someone who doesnt love you whilst you would do anything to get them back. You deserve to be with someone who fight for you no matter what. My advice to you is to focus on yourself now. Be the best person you can be. Make your ex regret what she has lost.

That's weird, Stacey. He said that you hurt him for breaking up, but didn't he start this mess? Perhaps he wanted to put the blame on you so that it would look like you were in the wrong.

yeh thats the reason i have been given; i hurt him to much and he cant do it, not after i can finish it just like that...after everything i have been through for him. Im not entitled to a second chance in other words, he said i have to live with my decision. when i said that i forgave him, he said that was my choice, if that makes me a better person than him then so be it. I dont know if he understands that this break was because of the anger i still had of what he had done a year ago. im not blaming it on him, i choose to stay with him. Maybe he wasnt as happy as he told me he was in this relationship and this is his way out, so now i take all the blame. Im trying to give the advice that whilst you still want to be with her so much, you may not be able to forgive as easy as you think. I still love my ex and still want him back badly, maybe its the fact that he has given up so easy that i am still so confused.

I think that he gave up the moment that he cheated on you. If you had left him at that moment, he couldn't have blamed you without looking even worse. He had at least a year to make up for it, but he used your patience against you. And you still want him back! That's more than he has done.

What will you do now? Get into another relationship? Wait for him?

Maybe your right, he did give up a year ago, after all it was like i done the chasing last time. i think back now and wonder why i tried so hard. it was the fact that i was hurting that bad and i wanted it to stop, so the only way for it to stop was to get him back. When we was together it really did seem like he loved me more than anything and i thought he would do anything for me, which is why i didnt really believe it would be the end when i finished it. Im not ready to move on, although i have been given the advice i wont get over this properly until i do. For some reason, i feel it will make me a look in the wrong again. For example, i got close to his family, and am worried what they think of me. Apart of me is waiting around for him, although i already know the answer. i just want him to realize what he has lost and regret his decision.

If his family ever looks down upon you, all you would have to do would be to mention his infidelity. Surely, they would understand.

Maybe you're confused because you chose to stay and then leave. In the meantime though, you've got to focus on yourself, as you've advised. I mean, even now, you still want him back or at least have him regret what he has done. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but I think it would be better to find a more rewarding situation.

It's my friends 21st Birthday Party 2night.

She is going to be there what shld I do?

I don't wanna miss this party.

Are there any reasons not to go? I don't even know your situation, Santos.

What Stacey has experienced was also experienced by me. She cheated on me, I forgave her and we started back on a relationship, but the thing is I became extremely insecure in the relationship. If she didn't answer her phone I got upset. If she looked at another guy I got worried. It ended about three months after our second try in a horrible argument. She, of course, blamed me, but she sent me a text about a week after the argument saying she understood. Well that was two years ago & I'm over her and what she did to me. We are actually friends now.

Anyways my dear friend, she cheated on you. No going back whatsoever. Begin a new chapter in your life.

just to make you feel a bit better my girlfriend has left me and now tells me she and my brother have had coffe,s together and have feelings for each other. help

Why is your brother having coffee with your ex for?, have you talked to him about it?

i must be a saint, as i know a lot of people would be round his place and putting his windows in.ime now in the process of moving in with my mother. god bless are mums. my eldest brother suffered a brain injury many years ago, he is now 48 and i 40. my ex took it upon herself to call him up instead of her own friend and family.i have seen him a couple of times at my mums and i have been mature about this as don't wish to distress my mother.i i am finding this hard to deal with.

Yeah i can imagine, but like i said have you talked to him about it at all?, have you talked to her about it?, you need to talk to either of them about it first.

hi danny Ive talked to her about it and she has said that she is doing nothing wrong. she says that these things happen,he was saying to my other family members that its over with me and former girlfriend,and what he is doing isn't wrong.
i havnt been that proactive in visiting my family in the last few years and they live in the same town.there is a big lesson to be learned in keeping in contact with family.several weeks ago i contacted one of my other brothers and told him what was going on, and it was one of the best things i ever did.he called up one of my other brothers and they had a meeting and as a result my eldest brother, that is the one getting freandy with my ex has been banned from ever going around to the brother i phoned. my other brother and his wife have told him that its well out of order what he is doing and if he ever got it together with my ex she would not be welcome.i have found my family have been very suportive and told to call eny time i need to talk.my eldist brother used to have a drink problem. he has been seen in the pubs in town drunk, oh dear

Yeah what he is doing IS wrong, i dont see how its not. I wouldnt talk to either of them anymore if i were you but that decision is up to you. Its good that your family is showing support for you, move on and find yourself another girl and forget about her, shes not worth it and no offence but your brother isnt really either.

hi danny, the problem with moving on is love,she made the decision to end the relationship i was under the understanding that i was with the person i was going to spend the rest of my life with. and that just cant be done over night. wish it was that easy. if you remember i said my brother had a brain ingery many years ago and i feel she with her good looks is taking advantage of that.