Have you or an ex ever come back after a rebound relationship?

I was just wondering how many people have experienced a break up and the ex found someone very quickly. What happened then? Did they stay with them a long time? or was that relationship over quickly?

Does it matter if the ex knew the person before or do they have to meet the 'rebound' partner after the split for it to be a rebound relationship?

It has happened to a few of my friends and it has been around 2 months before they realise but one or two have
stayed with their 'rebound' partner for a very long time

Any ideas or experiences?

Posted on Breaking up
Answer
MrAurora avatar
4 years ago #2
MrAurora
Gold Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 284
Votes: 23

Oh man, i just wrote out the biggest reply for you and I lost it

Reply
help needed avatar
4 years ago #3
help needed
Silver Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 91
Votes: 1

oh no would loved hear your opinion

Reply
MrAurora avatar
4 years ago #4
MrAurora
Gold Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 284
Votes: 23

Ok, I will do a summation of what I was saying...


You are really hurting as I can tell by all the threads you have been posting. Remember, he did a bad thing here, and even though you love him so much, you need to make him work to win you back when he does eventually come to his senses!

However, I am not going to discourage you as true love is fu.cking worth fighting for!

All I can say is stay cool and calm, as you have been. Give him space, do not contact him and certainly don't stalk him (inc FB ). You follow that and you will come out looking like the princess in all of this.

I am going to give you two links, the first will explain some of what is going on and help you make senses of it all. The second is the best thread out there on getting back stories, just to give you some hope


GIGS
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/251986-grass-greener-syndrome

Getting Back Does Happen!
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=278592


Best of luck and keep me updated! Or ask any more questions, but read others here!


Aurora

Reply
MrAurora avatar
4 years ago #5
MrAurora
Gold Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 284
Votes: 23
help needed wrote:
oh no :( would loved hear your opinion



I made the effort to retype!
Reply
help needed avatar
4 years ago #6
help needed
Silver Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 91
Votes: 1

Thank you for replying again. I am hurting a lot I'm really trying to be strong. I could understand if he wanted go out and experience life cos we are young. But its fact he's moved on so quick he's all loving over this new girl and he seems so happy. When we first split he said we could just take things slow and fall back in love. Then he said he coulddnt do that and got with this girl. She would started working at his work few weeks before split so he will have already developed feelings for her so won't be a rebound as I hoped? That article I can really relate to. He wasn't able to give me a proper reason just loads of small diff ones. I wish I'd found this site when it first happened cos since I found out he was in rel with her I went to see him and have text twice the last one I had been out with friend had a littl drink and was really upset and told him I couldn't believe hed with someone already must been with her when together. Snce I've had no contact but would that text messed things up? Its his brothers birthday today I've watched them grow up and I know there all be together as a family and she go now as he has already took her to meet his mom. Its been three weeks now and I just can't understand how has moved on so quick like 4.5 years was nothing?

Reply
MrAurora avatar
4 years ago #7
MrAurora
Gold Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 284
Votes: 23

Yeah, he really has treated you bad.

No you have not messed anything up with the text. Yes, the relationship is a rebound by classifaction. You know she is **** in a lot of her photos...he will soon get sick of that if he's not into it.

Do not find out anymore about their relationship, you are just hurting yourself, remember "Ignorence is bliss" in this situation.

Drop of the face of the earth to him. Do not update your FB, create mystery about yourself. He will come looking for you again. Whether or not you want him back is another story!

Reply
help needed avatar
4 years ago #8
help needed
Silver Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 91
Votes: 1

That's the thing I want him but I don't know if I want him back. I don't want him to be wanting her. I thinnk I'm looking for someone to give me the answer I'm looking for but no one can only him, I just want to no he is going to regret it. She is drunk in a lot pics and photos with just a top on legs out and before he would said that was slaggy the way she's posing. But then she could be a nice person and an act on fb. His mom said she seems nice but she's not me she's louder, she said she doesn't think would last. But I know how loving and caring he can be an hell jump straight into it and develop with his feelings. We had only just come back of holiday and that day opened a joint savings account which he booked appointment without me even nothing. I've still got stuff of his clothes, bit and pieces, and srted all cards and notes we wrote to one another before I knew about this girl, ad I don't know whether to give thm him or not? Cos I don't want to make contact and him having notes and cards might push him away?

Reply
MrAurora avatar
4 years ago #9
MrAurora
Gold Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 284
Votes: 23

Welll you could play fire with fire here and get some guy to start hanging out with you a bit, let him in on it and I am sure he'll play along.. Photos together watching movies in your room, going out together holding hands...do it long enough for the camera to take the picture...

That will make him think

Reply
dhsk_4life avatar
4 years ago #10
dhsk_4life
Fresh Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 16
Votes: 0

my ex girlfriend broke up with me and 3weeks later she got into another relationship, yea i know so soon.. well anyways, we still talk little texts here and there but i still love her just as the way i loved her before she left me. so im trying to get her back not by beggin or anything just by talking to her a little and waiting it out. so i hope yours work out as well.

and if u have time read my stuff and give me some opinion on what you think thanx

Reply
help needed avatar
4 years ago #11
help needed
Silver Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 91
Votes: 1

He hasn't got me on fb he made a new profile and blocked me. I only know he's writing sloppy messages about her through a friends profile. But he's mom and some friends have me on fb. I don't know if I could do that? I can't stand thought of anyone touching me and I don't think hell care? He told me I need to move on and find someone better. I'm just hurting I don't want him to have moved on so quickly, it just really hurts. I'd love the person I know back, I know friends and family have found it really hard to watch me go through this as I'm usually such a strong person and I've completely broken down. I was so in love with him and he never even up till last day gave me an idea he wasn't

Reply
help needed avatar
4 years ago #12
help needed
Silver Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 91
Votes: 1

Mines been 3 weeks too. But since I found out about the girl apart from me seeing him then, and I've sent two texts I've not heard anything from him. Ill have a look at some your posts

Reply
MrAurora avatar
4 years ago #13
MrAurora
Gold Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 284
Votes: 23

It will get back to him, dont worry about that...

Just both of you stay calm and cool and you will be fine. If the love and bond was stong, they will both realise what they have left. You cant find someone compatible with you just like that. The honeymoon phase will wear off soon.

NO MORE TEXT TO HIM HelpNeeded!

It hurts so much because you were together so long, and now he's intimate with someone else so soon, of course you are having a break down. But you sound like you are doing better than most.

Chin up ok you will be ok and you will come out of this with him begging you back.


Aurora

Reply
help needed avatar
4 years ago #14
help needed
Silver Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 91
Votes: 1

I think I've been better since I've joined this as I've read a lot of stuff. But I think I've convinced myself its a rebound and that he will regret it. And hoping be like 2 months and that ill be a stronger person. But then what if he doesn't in a few months what if there very happy and I've convinced myself hell make contact but he's so stubborn. I thought we had a strong close relationship but then I don't know what he thinks anymore he'll be looking at all the bad stuff. I sort of pity him as it shows he can't be on his own and he can't get over or deal with his feelings. But then I'm scared hell be with her a long time. I'm confused how I'm meant to feel I just don't want him to be with someone so quick that hurts. But then I'm hoping one day his feelings for us and when he sees how laid back I was it will hit him. We just got caught up in the stresses of live and he didn't wanna work and try to sort us out

Reply
MrAurora avatar
4 years ago #15
MrAurora
Gold Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 284
Votes: 23

Ok, you're going over the same stuff now. It doesnt matter how differently you look at it - he really did something bad to you and the relationship.

Now, you need to hide all things in the house that remind you of him, and do your own thing. Success and happiness is the ultimate revenge.

I also personal messaged you with my details if you want to chat on msn or skype.


Aurora

Reply
help needed avatar
4 years ago #16
help needed
Silver Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 91
Votes: 1

I know it keeps going round and round in my head. Thank you

Reply
 avatar
4 years ago #17
Guest
Blogs:
Forum: 0

....

Reply
 avatar
4 years ago #18
movingon
Guest

Helpneeded. He will come back I was in your shoes me and my ex broke up 3 months ago talk 2 months after the BU. She kept getting my hopes up but would diss me for someone else. (Oh BTW this is a/was a same sex relationship) Im 19 shes 21. We dated for 2 years lived together. Our break up was Mutual but I wanted her back she declined and completely kicked me out of OUR apartment. I begged and pleaded etc. 3 weeks ago she tells me she found someone else. Who happens to be 25. I went only 5 days of NC and she texted me today saying she loved me. The 5 days of NC including the 3 weeks of pain I was depressed. But now I wont take her back and am ready to move on. Not a getting back together story but if you go NC and ignore him he will come back. He will realize that you've moved on and it will weaken him reguardless if he is with someone better(if he says). Play Hard to get. Good luck
Let me add no matter what kind of relationship it is the dumper even the dumpee comes back.

Reply
 avatar
4 years ago #19
donewithmen
Guest

My ex of 5 years left me in February of 2012 and started dating someone instantly. I stalked him for a couple of weeks but it only hurt me.

I started getting on with my life (no it wasn't easy) Made some new friends, started going out and just having fun. I didn't date, really didn't want to, but I had a guy friend, that lived in Nevada. We talked alot via text and FB. He actually came back to his home (my state of residence) in May and we hung out. No sex just friends

Now it's May of 2012 and guess who sends me a text at 5:30 in the morning. Yeah, the ex. I was so mad when he did that. I thought he was gone and I was doing so well.

I decided to meet him a couple of times at a park. We talked I made sure he knew how well I was doing, and of course I had started hitting the gym pretty hard so I looked good too.

To make a long story short, We got back together, He moves back in in August 2012. At first I was leary of the old relationship, but I just let it go. I was not going to be "that" insecure girl. I gave him full trust.

Guess what happened next. He started arguing with me,making things up, saying I broke his stuff, breaking my things and on December 5, 2012 I go to work and come home to find he has moved out. Lied to me said he wanted to be single. Where did he really go, back to the rebound. He has started the viscious cycle all over again.

I dont understand it, and now he is saying I have done things to him and the new/old g/f. He told his sister I put stickers all over his and his g/f car from the place I work. She instantly knew he was lying, that I did not do this because I had talked to her that night on my landline and stayed home the entire night. Not to mention I have a son that I won't leave in the middle of the night to do dumb ****. I did not nor would I do something so dumb. These things are vengeful and I almost think the rebound did it to make him mad at me. She did it before saying I was calling her and sending her photos of my ex's private parts. He found out that was a lie and i offered to produce all of my phone recoreds. Who knows why people do the things they do. All I know is I fell back into the same ole routine with him and when I wanted to go to the gym or go out all he wanted to do was sit around the house.
Also, probably because of the childish allegations you are all wondering how old I am. I am 47, and a successful business owner. He is 37 going on 12.

Even though I am hurt by all of this, If he came crawling back I would never take him back

Reply
 avatar
3 years ago #20
Tirthankar Das
Guest

My gf broke up with me over email in Dec 15, she is dating someone from her home city in London from the very next day. They have met 1 month back @ networking event! We dated for 14 months out of which 6 months was LDR where I am in India and she is in London!
she was my best gf ever I have dated girls seriously as well as causally before in India and in UK! I was her 2nd bf ever! we were very happy & serious! we had been friends for like 4 months before we started dating in London! we are on talking basis now, but very less these days mostly through emails and sometime over phone! our best thing were chemistry & compatibility! during our friendship and dating, we have poility rejected dating offers from other people! however, our relationship was in trouble from mid october, and I was traveling throughout entire november, where i rarely had access to net or phone, when i came back , she wanted me to make some big & quick decisions, which I could not do straightaway out of foolishness, being too busy with work n solving friends problems back in india! and the distance in mind added to LDR! she told me over phone like 2 weeks back she is in a serious relationship with someone, right after our break up in dec she said she is seeing someone, she is with someone, etc etc! i know who that someone is as i know her friends and what she did with whom as we regularly emailed/called till mid october! One of the main problems that none of her close friends have been in london, rather they are in other places in UK! and her new job which she joined from october has very werid timings as she is a hotel concierge so she had been pretty tired and stressed and my new job has always been pressurizing from july 12!

I think I had a very small window I missed it as i was at a different mental plane compared to her, i was bit selfish & stupid! we both are 25 and bit inexperienced and immatured however we both still love each other and we know we shall never come across with whom we can click as much and be as much happy! what should I do? less contact/regular contact with her? i know i need to be strong, calm, composed and patient! I try to be positive! but the feelings and memories somedays are too much to handle!

what should i do?

i love her, her happiness and care about her! i wish her happiness but i also know and feel she would be most happy with me!

Thanks & Regards

Reply
 avatar
3 years ago #21
Rich100
Guest

All I can add on this, is that although they may seem happy at the moment - it is very likely that it will not last forever.

My ex started dating a couple of weeks after our split and she is starting to have problems.

Reply
 avatar
3 years ago #22
donewithmen
Guest

They aren't happy, he is fake and confused. She is just stupid, blind and insecure. Sooner or later it will hit him AGAIN, and she will be once again shell shocked by his **** Him and his new/old rebound girlfriend started off just as fast this time as they did last time. I love the fact that they are in love and telling each other they love each other all over FB 2 weeks after they start seeing each other again. I find it humorous that she is so junior high. What I find even more funny is that he moved out of my house on December 5, 2013 and on her FB status They have been in a relationship since December 1,2013 and we had sex of course at 2AM on December 5th. So does that mean he cheated on her ALREADY!!! LMAO Good riddens. I am moving on quite well and will continue to do so.
Good luck to everyone.

Reply
 avatar
3 years ago #23
Saffron
Guest

My last relationship was a rebound for my ex. He started a relationship with me literally while he was still trying to break it off with his ex. She had cheated on him and lied to him and he couldn't find it in his heart to forgive her, although he was the main reason she did it. She wanted to settle down and he couldn't commit to her and she found someone else.

He was still in love with her and loved her and still started a relationship with me. He started it by lying to me and I found everything out much later on (around two years later. Needless to say, I was an emotional wreck and also madly in love by then.

But, some how the relationship dragged on for anther 2.5 years until he broke up with me. He also made me go 'crazy' just as he did to the woman before me.

But, in short, rebounds can last for years. It just depends on the person. However, at some point, any emotions and feelings that a person runs from, will need to be confronted at some point in their life.

Reply
 avatar
3 years ago #24
Bea_1
Guest

Hi i am currently going through the same situation. My boyfriend of 5 1/2 years broke up with me to pursue a relationship with someone else.
Things were great during the beginning of our relationship.
The 4tth year things changed and he wouldnt show interest in the relationship.
(He would never come see me or prefer to do stuff with his cousins when id ask to go see him)
Anyways for a year before our break up i met a guy in college who liked me but i told him i had a bf. he was always there ro hear me out and told me i deservered better and that he could be a better bf to me ect ect i always rejected him.
My bf and i finally broke up when on a day i was supposed to go see him he said he had made plans to go watch a soccer game to a sports place with his cousins and changed the time on me.
Keep in mind he would always do this and at this point we were only seeing each other 2x a month!
He basically told me to "stop bitc*ing" and to come at the time he told me or to not come at all "

We didnt tlk for a month and i finally decided to give the other guy a chance.
When my bf found out abt the other guy he begged me to go back to him because he'd be a better changed person.
I basically break up with the other guy and get back with my ex.
Things are great the first 2 months until the 4tth month into our relationship he break up with me and tells me he lost feelings and things arent going to work out. He finally confesses hed been seeing someone else and wants to try with her.
Ive been begging him to come back but he says "he wants something different and why can i let him try with someone else just like i did with the other guy"

I keep begging he but hes choosing this other girl over me
His first gf of 5 years im 20 and hes 21 so i can understand why he would want to go and expirience other relationships but i want him back
Did your ex come back?

Reply
 avatar
3 years ago #25
Sarah
Guest

Sweetie, I went through a hard breakup after 2 years of relationship. My ex practically left me out of the blue and said he thought we just have nothing in common. I begged, I cried, and then he told me to move on because he already moved on. I tried to move on, to leave him behind .. I met a new guy, absolutely amazing, started a relationship with him, but I chose to be honest and tell him the thruth: I was still in love with my ex. This guy accepted the situation and wanted to help me. After some time, my ex came back...he swore he changed, he realized how much he loved me, he begged for a second chance.. I accepted, and told my new guy the thruth..that I chose to give my ex a new chance. I honestly tell you I made the biggest mistake of my life...I miss that new guy really bad, but I can't do anything now..So stop missing your ex, because getting him back would do you only harm..

Reply
 avatar
3 years ago #26
soph
Guest

im pretty much in the same situation, only difference is he is my next door neighbour!! no matter how mysterious i try to keep my life i still see him everyday!! furthermore, i see when he has his rebound over!! idk what to do!

Reply
 avatar
2 years ago #27
kim
Guest

Hi I in d same situation my ex n I broke up for 3weeks nw we were together for 2years and 3months. He said he dont want to come back he fed up but he alys says dis n comes back. D first time he rebounded n came back . We broke up because he was secretly textin another girl. Nw he is goin out wit d rebound girl from before n talking to her. Would he come back?

Reply
 avatar
2 years ago #28
mj
Guest

mine did the same thing and ended up marrying her. MOVE ON!!! Why would you want him back anyway.

Reply
 avatar
2 years ago #29
Jazzie
Guest

Aurora do you have contact details? Please I really need your advice. Many thanks x

Reply
alejandro123 avatar
2 years ago #30
alejandro123
Bronze Member
Blogs: 0
Forum: 48
Votes: 0

-I got dumped by my girlfriend. She inmediatly started dating a guy (rebound).

-She seemed to be so happy with her new guy, her relationship seemed to be great, everything going very fast between them (more than normal, ofc, its a rebound, needing love).

-After the first month of the break, she started wondering about me, and she initiated contact by text.

-She confessed me that she's not that happy with the new guy. She realized how happy she was with me.

-After 3 or 4 months, she is still the one that initiates contact, each 2-3 days.



The key is to let them miss what they've lost. It's so hard, i know. But you HAVE to dissapear from his/her lifes if you want them back. Ignore them for the first month. After that, if they text you, answer shortly and nicely, and don't respond inmediatly. Make them think that you are "busy", "happy", and "you don't need them to be happy" (you can use pictures with friends being happy, for example).

Chances to get them back? 50%.

Reply
By entering this site you declare you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to its Terms, Rules & Privacy and you understand that your use of the site's content is made at your own risk and responsibility.
Copyright © 2006 - 2017 Relationship Talk