He broke up with me, I'm very confused

Hi. I am a senior in high school. My boyfriend recently broke up with me after 9 months. While we were dating, he called me "the greatest thing to happen to him in high school". Him breaking up with me was SO unexpected. He said that the last month we dated that his feelings changed for me to the point where he had no feelings for me at all. That confused me more than anything because the last month we dated he told me he loved me and seemed the most happy with our relationship.

At first he called it "taking a break", but a few days after he said that he told me it was no break, and there is no chance we will ever get back together.

Now he wants to be best friends, says he cares for me and will always be there for me. He also says i will always be beautuful to him, and that he is still attracted to me. Its only been about 2 weeks since the break up, and we've already hooked up 3 times. But yet he says he has no feelings for me.

How can this be??? Boys are SO confusing.

-Confused

Most likely he fell out of love.. in the romantic kind of way I mean. It doesn't mean he doesn't "love" you anymore. It's possible the passion wasn't there for him anymore. The one thing you have to consider is that it's hard to break up with someone without hurting their feelings so they say things to make you feel good. He makes it clear he just wants to be friends but if you can't deal with it, you should stay away until you accept that fact. It's one of the hardest things to do with love. You don't know if you could ever accept just being friends.

my boyfried broke up wit me and we stilled "you know" then we got back together he couldnt go wit out if i was you ignore him and if he loves you hell come running back

its been about a month now.

he still holds my hand when no ones looking, like if we're sitting next to each other in a car full of people he'll hold my hand. or if we're sitting next to each other watching a movie with a bunch of our friends he'll hold my hand.

it basically feels like still we're dating, he still gives me those "i really like you looks", but only does about half the stuff we did when we were dating in front of our friends. its like were dating but no one knows. its so wierd.

he says "i really like how this friends with benefits thing is going, i know you want a boyfriend but this is close enough"
"i like you, but i just dont think i can date you"
"I can be a good friend but not the boyfriend you want"

please help me DE-CODE all this!!!

so confusing!

Well, you have to decide if that's what you want, a friends with benefits relationship. But just going by what you are reading, that's not what you want it seems. Usually people stay in it because they just want to have sex mostly without emotions tied to it. For some, sex is all they want in a relationship so it works for those people. I know a couple of friends like that... not surprisingly when it comes to real relationships, they've been REALLY bad at them. But going back to you, I would just let him go. If he can't give you WHAT YOU WANT, then he doesn't deserve nobody how you feel about him. I know it never seems like that way right now but it gets easier when you start accepting.

msybe he wants to fool around yet at the same time still be with you...

Just, tell him you understand what he wants, and that you are there for anything.

But, don't contact him all the time, and dont be that best friend. It will make him realise, that you are hurt and you cant take that emotional pain of seeing him as just a friend, and him falling out of love suddenly. It shouldn't happen like that, but it does. Some people start to lose feeling, when we least expect it. And we wish that we can just talk with them about it.

Make yourself a better person, physically, and mentally. Maybe he'll come crawling back. Do things better, that he didn't like, by improving yourself. If he didn't like something, just improve it and change it around. Pretty yourself up, go out. If he ever wants to talk, make it short talk. Or dont text all the time. Dont be the first to talk tohim.

he's going to think your a "easy" ride, or something. Just act like you've moved on. And act like it was in the beginning ahrd to get. Dont talk as much really.

well sorry to hear how this is going but boys will be boys and it sounds like he is very unsure about what he wants. You should ask him to be very clear with you in what he wants with you. If his answers do not line up with what you want the you can back off and let him go through what he has to. On the other hand there is way to many other people out there that will line up with what you want in life, plus your still young.

check out www.singlessocialize.com for more advice and meet other singles in your shoes.

warm regards,