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ok here is my story..I really dont blame you guys if you think “freak” me I look in the mirror and either cry or think the same.My name is Greg...

I lost my dad on 26/10 and my girl friend and i split on his funeral a week fault alone...Megan and I were together 10 months and she has two beautiful kids that I adore...we were talking marriage...I had a nervous breakdown when my wife Katrina left me in 1991....I should of had counselling but did not.I was working in the music industry as as drummer I smothered the pain with drugs and drink...alot of caused a “split” in my personality...from that point in time anyone NEW I met I told that my wife,Katrina, had died...not divorced me.I know this now because of what happened at dads the wake of all things.I have had pysch treatment after and they have explained why i did this was due to me “suppressing things to the point of me splitting my personalities’.

I met Megan and her kids 10 months ago and told her the same story AS i HAD TOLD EVERYONE since 1991.I went for a walk after the wake by myself to come home to see Megan...absolutely devastated ...i was like in a dream...i couldnt understand it when mum said “why have you told Megan this”...i had believed what I had told her,like two Gregs running paralell to each other.we flew back home together november 2 and she said not a word. nov 8 she saw me and said it is over

Megan and her 2 beautiful kids are my hearts desire... i gave her space ...if i had one more chance I would treat her like gold.She is unable to work as has had 19 brain operations but I had started 2nd job with the idea of giving all the money to her to help support them (we dont live together).meg was cheated on repeatedly,lied to and beaten by her ex..she thinks I am same now.I did all the mistakes sent a huge bunch of irises and a note saying “85 things I love about you”… she didn’t reply…I went over (Monday the 10th dec it was the first time I saw her since nov 8..i was originally before all this happened going to propose on my birthday Dec 9)and gave her Christmas gifts for her and kids.She said the day we split “if you asked me to marry you I would of said yes”.I am having counselling which started nov 9 and am doing ok...the psych doctor says i am not schziophrenic or violent just a gentle soul whose mind splintered to create an alternate reality.
I smsed her 23rd December and asked if I could call Christmas to which she said no,so I did not.I didnt contact her again till Feb least she answered the phone but she was very cold.on my dads soul i never cheated ,hit or swore at the girl and adore her kids...i guess she just sees the lie and maybe someone she sees as unstable ...mind you i hold 2 jobs .HOW do I gain her trust back...or should I just realise i am doomed ...its funny how the mind works :-(
So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment or give me a

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