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I have been doing some extensive research on the topic of getting back an ex, specifically the differences between when a woman tries to get back an ex boyfriend and when a man tries to get back an ex girlfriend. The tactics and methods are so very different it is actually amazing to look at. (This is based on research of situations and talking to people this is not hard and fast and does not apply to everyone)
Check this out.
When a woman is dumped or for some other reason the relationship breaks down she often blames herself and immediately goes to her friend for support. Women have a bond with each other that will never be understood or replicated by men. They will automatically comfort the woman who is hurting and assume a role of healer. This is good for the dumped woman because she has people to lean on and depend on but at the same time this process pushes the guy in her life further away.
It is no secret that when a guy is newly out of a relationship he will usually hide how he is feeling and try to busy himself. If he does hang out with his friends it will be more of a celebration then a support system. This is especially true of the guy has a lot of single friends. Now they have their buddy back and can go back on the prowl. Most guys will never take the initiative to discuss what happened with his ex girlfriend so the relationship hits a wall right there.
Now I said this one is for the girls so let me get to that point. Keep in mind this is being written from a guys point of view. If you have any interest in working out a break up or want to know how can I get back my ex boyfriend you are going to have to be the one that *kinda makes the first move. I know, “screw that dog he is a a**hole!” That may not be how you feel a few weeks from now once you have time to reflect on the good times and any bad thoughts are not fresh in your mind.
To get him back use you support system of your girls. This is ok but at the same time keep your ex boyfriend in the loop. Please don’t mistake this advice for “text him 100 times every day and follow up with E mails and phone calls.” a quick text before you go out saying “hey I am heading out with Jen and Joan but I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you” will suffice. This opens a door for him to make the next move but at the same time shows him that you are not just sitting home feeling sorry for yourself. The dynamic here is that you are also going out with the girls so he won’t feel threatened but in the back of his mind there is always the possibility of meeting other guys. You should probably expect a text back either that night or the next morning asking about your night out. The idea is not to do all the work to fix a relationship it is to show your ex boyfriend that there is a door that he can choose to open.
Sometimes things are over for good and usually the women are better equipted to handle the situation. There is nothing wrong with looking for healp and trying to learn as much information as you can. We do not naturally know how to get back an ex so it is something we must learn. Even worse than that what we do naturally know usually is the very things that push the person we love away forever. If you are interested in learning more about winning back your ex or you would like to read another article I have written about how to get back my ex boyfriend feel free to check out those links.
A word of warning, I am usually not as cordial as I was in this post. I believe in telling people how it is and being brutally honest. Can you handle that?
Mikey A.
I also think its good to take a step back to reflect on the relationship, the good and the bad and check with yourself why it is that you want him/her back…and if you really do…
Good post, its interesting to see the differences!!
My ex broke up with me by text so i called him on his cell and he did not anwser then i tried his home and he told his brother to tell me that he is at the mall, and i tried again on his cell and he anwsered and he said that he is not ready for a relation ship and that he doesnt have time for me and he has got too much on his plate and that ive changed but i havnt and i want him back and we were madly in love with each other and im still am and i dnt knw what to do can you please help me ?
No offense but, I’ve dealt with my boyfriend’s ex and I feel the need to tell everyone reading this article a little bit of advice. If he broke up with you there is a reason whether he was truely never happy in your relationship together to he doesn’t feel anything for you anymore. Sometimes the reason is flawed and you can get back together. But, honestly thats only sometimes.
If the reason is valid don’t embarrass yourself and try to get him back. If he is dating someone else and you lie about thinking your pregnant might work but, every girl knows that if you claim to ‘be waiting to see a doctor for a test’ his girlfriend at the time will know you are lying and s ome guys too because theres pregnancy tests right next to the condoms in drug stores.
Don’t start a rumour about the girl. You may be pissed but, really it looks bad on you.
If the relationship between your boyfriend and his new girlfriend has held strong for months. Just back away. I know its easy to say but, honestly just end it there.
Chances are if you continue it will ruin any chance of friendship between you and your ex and no one wants to be refered to as the ‘Crazy Ex’
Honestly though it didn’t work out for a reason, it wasn’t meant to be just let it go.
will frist you need to be friend and lissen to her see that you know every little thing about her stick up for her when gets in truble even if it means takeing a punch.Just when you feel close to her ask her how she feels about you however if she dont feel the same way then just stay friend but if you’re still have fellings for her tell see what she has to say but the worst thing that can happen is not being friends with an ex-girlfriend because that can get messy.
Its a difficult one, on one hand i want to stay friends with me x as that is how we started off, but on another hand i know he will eventually meet someone else and that makes me feel like i am not good enough and sends me on a downer when i think of it, i was the perfect girlfriend and for 6 months it was great. He came back into my life (after dumping me before Xmas) for 2 nights and then said he wants to be friends. I have agreed but i am now in bits thinking ‘why doesnt me want me’. He doesnt show too much empathy so i can never tell!! :(
After i triad all these sites I found only one site that really helped me to know how to get my ex girlfriend back you can download it in the website:
how-to-get-my-ex-girlfriend-back-Fast.blogspot.com
Hi
I have been reading all the replies and advice since Christmas, i broke up with a guy who i thought was ‘the one’ becuase of his jealousy as i am naturally quite a friendly person. Anyways, after crying and texting and emailing him over xmas, i guess he kinda got used to me ‘always being there’ well i played a trump card. I went out a few weeks back with my friend, after doing my positive thinking all week (www.creatingpower.com)and i had a blast and realised there are more people in the world, lots of attention (even though not interested). I never text my x again after for nearly a week. Then i get a call at work with him saying he misses me, made a mistake, realises he strung things out too long etc. I said, lets just begin by talking about everything, being open and honest and take it slow, i hold the cards of the relationship and although i am happy with him coming back, i am also feeling confident and know i am nice person, so after the Christmas slog of blaming myself begging him etc, i feel i kinda got over him in some respects and no longer hold him on a pedistal like i did prior Christmas, this has made me ‘not clingy’ alot happier and hence the attraction. Laydees, what i want to say is please concentrate on yourself, you will be happier and if they come back then they are worthy to come back, you control the relationship, you are more than likely all beautiful and kind generous ladies, who have been taken advantage of. Once you are feeling stronger, this will show and attract more like minded people and if the guys are worth it, i assure you then will be back begging!!! Good luck xxx
I totally agree with most the responses I read. It is so very very true, the truth is that if he broke up with you there is a reason. Stay focused on what you want and what you can give to yourself and others. If he wants to come back, it is probably because things are not working out for him in his life like he thought, and he wants to fall back to you, the person that was there, it is more comforting to him. You don’t want that do you? Let it go, ….like the saying, let go and let god. It is true. He probably needs you alot more than you need him, but he doesn’t realize it until he has lost you. So don’t you want someone that wants you when they have you? Be strong, have some pride in yourself, and don’t waste your precious time. So listen to the other posts, because they do know what they are talking about.
Sarah, AWESOME RESPONSE! So true, I am going through that and finally am realizing he needs me more than I need him. He makes me feel like I can’t live without him when really he can’t live without me. He comes back for comfort and only apppreciates me when he doesn’t have me.
My ex asked me for a break. i followed nc rule for 2 weeks then sent an email asking if he’d be interested in meeting and talking about things after giving some thought, but with no pressure. His response "I dont have a problem meeting, never would. As for talking, Nothing has really changed. are you available next week?"
I really want to see him and get him back, but there seems to be no point if nothing has changed for him.
I dont know how to respond to his email response. I was thinking of not responding or saying somehting like "Im doing good, (he asked how I was) there’s a lot of exciting things going on! This week im starting a job training, not sure what the days/hours will be like yet." and just leave it at that? but the problem is that i initiated the meetup and now im acting like im too busy…looks like im playing games!