How much is too much? Opinions needed.

I posted on here a couple of weeks ago but now I have a new question...Here's the situation. My husband is a musician, is involved in several different music groups and is gone 4 to 5 nights a week, sometimes more. On the nights he is home, he goes into his "music room" after dinner sometimes for hours practicing. He spends alot of time on the phone with his musical "buddies". We have two young children and most of the time I am left alone to raise them. When I posted on here before my question was about whether or not to contact my first love, but I think now that I have seriously thought about it, I am just lonely and want to know what is a "normal" hobby for a man - and how much is too much before it becomes an obsession instead of a hobby? Is there anything I can do to fix it?
I have basically turned myself off from my husband, I no longer care if he is gone. In fact, I quite like it when he is not here because I can feel free to do what I like. We used to argue about his musical hobbies all the time when we first married, but somewhere along the way I gave up. Don't get the wrong idea, other than the music thing, my husband is a good man who loves us while he is here and works hard to provide for his family. I am just not sure if I should just go along with this and appreciate what I have or if this really is abnormal and something needs to be done about it.

Anybody out there?

It is not normal. He needs to see who needs him and be there for all of you. You need to talk to him about this and tell him if he can't share some of his time and try to have a real marrige then you will be moving on.

Thank you BB22. I just needed to know if his behavior is normal or not. I know that everyone has their hobbies and how much time they spend with it is up to them, but I didn't know if I was being unreasonable or not.

You are not being unreasonable at all. He needs to realize what he has and what he may be losing. I wish I had one oppurtunity to have my ex back.

He needs to be there for his family more than a night or two a week.. and not just "there". You have pretty much made your own decision on your own- you know its not normal. Yes people have things they like to do.. but what do you get to do on your own that u enjoy, or even with ur "buddies"????

Not much I'm afraid. I always have to stay home because he's not here. But if I did "make" him stay at home (if thats even possible) then what is acceptable for someone to be gone? One, two, three nights a week? I also don't want to "control" his life (like telling him I'm leaving him if he doesn't stay at home) because then I'm pretty sure he would just sit in the chair and sulk.

In my opinion it all depends on what ur going out to do. if your going out with ur girls one night to a movie and then another night out to a bar for 2 hours i think thats fine. Getting married doesnt mean u have to stop being independent, it means u have to share everything but also make time for yourselves. He has made his time for himself, now's the time to make time for yourself and make him deal with it like he has to you already. It sounds like this is all a one way road- marriage is supposed to be two ways combined.. sounds like he blocked ur road off. Its not about controlling him or his life, its about controlling your own life. He's already controlled urs. How is that fair to you??

spwx has the right idea, but it's not so much to retaliate by going out alot. Yes, you should go out when you feel like it, but not out of spite; that's okay in a dating atmosphere, but in a marriage, it's much different. Yes, your husband needs to make time for the family, but I'm sure if you spoke to him about it, he'd express himself to you. It's all about trust, communication, and the initial feelings for each other.

Thank you for the opinions! As for me, going out alot in order to retaliate against him is just not me. I'm more of a home-body. Content to stay at home, but I would like to have my husband with me, too. I could understand maybe one or two nights, but my husband and I used to fight about this, and he gets real pouty when I try to make him quit one of his musical groups.
It's just hard for me to understand how he can be this way. He's totally missing our kids growing up.

You need tostand up for yourself and even if you are a homebody, you need to go out anyway just to prove a point to him that you are not going to take it anymore and he is not the only one that can enjoy life. You need happiness too. Go out and enjoy yourself. Turn the tables a little.