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Jealousy is one of the biggest traps within relationships. The feeling of possession that usually accompanies love and being in love ignites jealousy, but it can sometimes become a bigger influence than the love itself. Many couples have been driven apart by an overdose of jealousy. There isn’t much you can do, when you tend to get jealous easily, however, this emotion is not harmful by itself if you know how to deal with it. It should not be the cause of mistrust in your partner, or even of the end of your relationship. A few tips on how to deal with your jealousy, can help you out:
Serious forms of jealousy can hinder your relationship. On the other hand, it is a sign of love after all. Don’t give to much power to jealousy. Jealousy is an expression of the fact that you feel comfortable with a certain person and that nobody is allowed to break this contact. Learn how to cope with fits of jealousy and your relationship will be the better for it.
Be clear about your feelings
When you are jealous, you should not hide it. Be open to your partner about your feelings. Explain what the situation is about and find a solution together. To communicate with your partner is essential within a relationship. You have to know what goes on in his or her head and this goes both ways. Only this way you can work together on an exaggerated form of jealousy.
Give trust
Give your partner the feeling that you trust him or her. It will have an opposite effect if your partner gets the idea that you suspect him or her of adultery. Suspicion will never work positively. You should believe that your partner cares as much about you as you care about him or her. If you are really convinced, that your suspicions are true, you need to talk.
Give each other space
Don’t jump up if your partner kisses somebody on the cheek or gives someone a compliment. A relationship should not be based on the possession of each other, but on freedom and trust. Allow your partner to have social contact with others. Don’t be alarmed by little things. And ask same of your partner.
Keep in mind that a light form of jealousy is positive.
Your jealousy should not take on huge shapes so it will not become disturbing. Light jealousy promotes attachment. Your jealousy should always remain an image of your love. So, as long as your jealousy doesn’t really stand in your way, it is an honorable feeling.
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Hi,
I met one of my best friend’s friend and started liking him & even he was very friendly to me at first and I started liking him alot & told her. I am not sure if I misunderstood or he just changed, but his behaviour changed. So, I never told him about my feelings. After, a yr my same best friend told me that she started liking him now. I was ok with it first and told her it is ok. But now it is been over 2 yrs and she told me that she still really likes him, but the guy doesn’t know it and thinks she is just one of her good friend. But all of the sudden I am having hard time dealing with her liking him. I thought about talking to her abt it ,but then don’t know if it would resolve anything.. I am trying to ignore the whole situation and forget about it, but evertime she tells me she is meeting him. I get very jealous and just don’t want to be friends with her.
I am really lost. I don’t know if I still like the guy or is it something else. But I hate feeling this sad, angry feeling.
Any advise on this.
Thanks
It seems to me as if you have been holding on to a fantasy situation for several years now… fantasy isn’t life, and if you choose fantasy over life you will end up loosing out, with life passing you by. The guy has no idea what you feel, so couldn’t act accordingly. You avoid telling him because you are afraid of rejection, thus hang on to hope, and keep the status quo. You might be hurt if you speak to him or to your friend, but you will end up picking your self up, dusting off and carrying on with life, which is the best thing that could happen to you.
Move on.
Hi,
I’m in love with a friend of mine, and everyday, I can pick up something that really bugs me.
Maybe someone touching her hair, just because it pisses her off, normally stuff which I tell myself ‘Thats just stupid’.
But what does it mean?…………..
Should I tell her I get jelous of all these things?
She already knows I love her, but friends is all we’ve stayed.
Could you read my post, it’s explained more on there! Here’s a link.
http://www.relationshiptalk.net/the-one-i-love-is-so-confusing-3983624.html#39836
Thanks.