How to win the girlfriend back?

Yes, another of these threads.

Im devastated at the moment.

Story is as follows:
For the past week, we were really not getting along with each other. She went out with her friends and I wanted her to call me, but she never did, so I got angry at her. This then led to me wanting attention etc, and so I got angry at her, making it her fault etc etc. 3 days ago, we didnt call each other, but we walked home together after work. I got very angry at her, and was telling her how she didnt care about me. Yelling etc.

I dont know why I did that, because I was being really pushy. We spend ALOT of time together already, and I just wanted more and more. We did manage to patch that up though, and as she wanted to leave, I wanted to make love. She said no, and I got angry again. Took her home, and then we were both talking for a while in the car.

Just before we slept, we talked again, and I was telling her how we should spend some time apart, and I wanted our relationship to be like when we were first going out. However, I didnt mean ANY of it. I only wanted her to feel bad - yes, pretty slack.

So come yesterday, she never answers my call for the whole day. But I managed to 'force' her to see me at night. We talked again in the car, but it seemed that she had made her mind up to leave me. I begged, pleaded etc but to no avail.

Now this morning, I waited by her house for her to leave and took her to work. I gave her a long letter about yesterday and that I still love her very much. She did not speak to me, the only words were "leave me alone", "stop touching me" etc etc. I sent her a final message saying sorry, and have left it at that.

My friend, who was at work today with her suggested not seeing her for 2 weeks, or contacting her - giving her a cooling off period. When he asked her about me, I was "annoying" but she wouldnt tell him what happened.

I really love her, and we have been going out for more than a year. I miss her already, and it just seems so sad. Any pointers?

I was planning to buy a boquet for her on Friday (in 4 days time) and take her out for a good chat, but should I just wait for her to call me? I dont want to sound like Im pleading anymore to her. I want her to know that I genuinely want the relationship back.

Thanks guys

Also, she said that she didnt love me anymore, and doesn't like my personality anymore.

I am kind of going through this, except I did not plead as much.
You need .. (and trust me this will be hard) to give her time, and try to just get by day to day without calling her.
If she doesnt want to be with you, there is nothing you can say to her to make her change her feelings, even though you wish you could.

You are not alone. Although I imagine you feel it.
Just give it time.. take it half an hr at a time, and just let her have her space and see what life is like without you.
Hopefully she'll come back, but if she doesnt its better you find out now rather then later when your even more in love with her.

OK I have made a plan. She has always wanted this necklace for a long time. TOmororw I am going to go and buy it. Ill give her a call on Friday night after she finishes work and just ask how she is. Then Ill ask if she will see me on Fri night or Sat. Ill throw in a bouquet too and then hopefully have a proper chat to work things out.

I do realise that Iv done alot of things wrong and I want her to know that I understand now.

dont buy her gifts, plain and simple. she will see right through it.

best advice is to let her have space and no contact for say 2 weeks. if your there buying things and txting etc she will not feel like she needs to call because she knows your doing it.

trust me, iv been there done it many a time and it does not work. good luck

Look. Im starting to give up hope.
2 Days ago I really wanted to suprise her so I bought a huge bouquet of flowers and a card and put it on her desk in her room before she came home from work. I didnt get a call that night, but called her the next day - no response. (stupid thing to do)

Bear in mind, I was waiting in front of her house in my car to see when she was free to talk (when I saw the light to her room turn on). Unfortunately, she went to her parents place for dinner and when she came back, saw my car there

I do have a "I want to meet up and discuss things message, I didnt understand you were trying to fix things too, see me" planned, but am unsure when to send it. Tonight, tomorrow night? Next thursday night?

I do realise Iv become obsessive about this, and I need to stop stalking her etc. I may be working with her again next Saturday, so I will try for then to try and talk to her and give her the necklace I guess

Well I just have to enjoy myself.
Mum suggested that she call her and ask about coming over for dinner as its Mothers Day tomorrow, but I dont know, possibly its too early.

you need to take advice from someone who has gone through exactly the same thing within the last month, yeah me

i bought the flowers and it did absolutely en nothing. I didnt even get a call either. Dont give her the necklace until you are at least working things out. You cant buy happiness.

i also dont think its worth her comming over to your mums. What i did was ask if she wanted to go somewhere for the afternoon, nice walk etc.

If she is willing to have a go at working things out, then leave the issues to one side, have a bit of fun, and then talk later when you are both at ease.

Please dont be obsessive, because if she turns on you, you may never get her back. Then you will regret it big time.

good luck

Mate, I will be straight forward, from a womans perspective - stop it - you are not winning her back, your behaviour is a major turn off to her. Im sorry but if I saw my Ex sitting in his car out the front of my house Id start panicking that you have become obsessive and start getting scared for my saftey. Pls back off from her and let her breathe. Leave her alone for at least a month, nothing, no calls, no gifts, nomessages, no forlorn looks or extra attention at work. Relax and take a breather. You have put the message across loud and clear that you are still interested in working things out, now get a grip and let the world take a few spins, give her the room to move back in towards you or keep going and you will definately lose her forever. Good luck and hang tight

Yeah I know. She seems happier now without me anyway. Back to her usual talkative self at work. When I called up with a private number she was her usual beaming self - I didnt say anything though, just hung up.

there you go again - phoning her with a private number. Ofcourse she is going to answer the phone with a happy voice.

wondering if she know it was you she would do the same.

I went through weeks of running scenaios in my head, is she thinking this, that, what if that, then this etc. It drives you crazy.

My girl is back home, still working on things, and that was after her telling me on many occasions over the time we were split she wasnt in love with me, and would be happy if she heard I found someone else. Im not saying mine is 100% sorted now cos its gona take time still, but for me I found that letting her know my feelings, then backing off was the best route. Make sure she knows the door is open for her to talk to you, and you will be there to listen. put your issues aside.

Whatever you do, dont push her or you will risk loosing her forever because everytime she sees you or your number calling, she will associate it with you pestering. Let her miss, you, she never will if you dont let her have space.

good luck mate

Man, let her come to you. As far as i can tell, I don't think this relationship has reached its natural end (if there is to be one). But you are becoming obsessive and so it may reach an unnatural end. Be a man, and go out and enjoy yourself. She WILL call you at some point, probably not in a few days, or weeks or even months! But she will. Then listen to YOUR heart and mind at that time and see what it is you really want.
No contact is a very good thing. It's time to process thoughts and process the heart. If you find yourself getting over her, then see that as a sign and it was never meant to be.

here's my advice---stop being so desperate if you love her it could be mutual but at the moment your pushing your relationship like two matching magnets, they don't og together.! go clear your mind, work out. it seems like she needs a rest go out and have fun and i know it bothers you and jealous that your not there and being replaced, your not. just take a break for a day then calmy say i know my actions have been absurd and we can fix this. stop being so aggressive.