I have been in a relationship for 6 months now…I know not very long. But my boyfriend is different from anyone I’ve ever met and I honestly think he is the one for me. We have a very honest and open relationship and I love spending time with him, but I get sad whenever he is not around. I feel alone whenever he isn’t around. My friends just recently moved off to college and I’m the only one that stayed home. I have absolutely nobody to call when he has plans..which seems to be a lot because he has tons of friends and they ask him to hang out almost every night of the week. Not to mention he works 55 hours a week and has two classes. Am I wrong for asking him to make time for me and not spend as much time with them as he did when we weren’t together? Because my friends are off at college I find myself becoming jealous of the fact that he has friends to spend time with. I’ve been trying to just let go and be okay with him going out but its hard for me because I get sad when I’m alone. It has caused fights and I really want to change the way that I am when he wants to hang out with his friends. I usually get mad when he mentions it because I am with him a lot and usually stay every night with him but we are ALWAYS doing normal day to day stuff like finishing homework or cleaning ..I feel like he never sets aside time for just me the way he does for his friends. I have mentioned this to him but he feels that he does spend time with me and doesn’t think he should mke time like he does for his friends because he never sees them and he sees me all the time. I would even be okay with him inviting me a long with them because I don’t know any of them and that also makes me unsure of him going out. It doesn’t help that I’m only 18 and he’s 24..so when he hangs out with his friends the only thing they are doing is getting drunk at the bar…and I have never been okay with alcohol because when I grew up my alcoholic uncle lived with us and I have never been the same since that. I have seen the things drinking can do to people. I have explained all of this to him and yes he has calmed down his drinking a lot but I don’t like that he drinks and drives or that he drinks when there are tons of girls around him( my insecurity he would never cheat on me, but I cant get over that tons of his friends are girls) I don’t know how to deal with any of this I feel like I am being ridiculous with something’s but I also feel if he loves me as much as he says he does then like relationships usually do Im going to take a little away from his friend time..can someone please give me advise and be honest with me…
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The best advice I can give you is get your own life ! Make new friends, get a job, take classes, volunteer - what ever. This will accomplish 2 things - You will be less available to him- because you are busy, and he might take you less for granted, and, you will be happier not spending your day worrying about the fact that he isn’t making time for you, because you will be busy and happy with your own life.
Have fun!
Thank you for your feedback..this makes sense and ive been trying. I take classes but he takes them too at the same time(his idea, so we can share rides) and I have a job work 40 hours a week but he works at the same place(how we met) Maybe i need to look for a new job!! But volunteering is a good idea.. i never thought about that thank you very much:D
You’re welcome :-D.