I dated my best friend and we broke up and now we are best friends again but i still like him

I know and I feel like such a jerk for doing something like that to him. I just broke up with my boyfriend-and it was weird but I realized I needed to break up with him when I started hinging out with Ben again.I mean, granted, the relationship was pretty bad already but still.And I am so mad at myself for huting him like that because yeah, he took it pretty hard when it did happen. I mean, he wasn't the only one hurting, I was pretty torn up too, but he definately took it harder. I feel so stupid going back the 3rd time but I know he's worth it and he has NEVER done anything to hurt me, even after i hurt him-twice. What do you mean "easy oppurtunities" could you give me a simple example?

Could you go into the reasons for both breakups in more detail? The more specific you are, the easier it will be to understand. I'm confused about what led to which breakup, for example.

As for "easy": Well, you know him better than I do. What would he do for a girlfriend and not for a friend? It's important to find something that is clear because things between you and him are still vague. Sure, you two are officially friends, but there were still feelings between you two that still make things more complicated.

well, the first time we broke up, it was because the relationship didn't go anywhere. We would hang out like friends but the "boyfriend girlfriend" thing was just more of a title than a reality.The second time, it was because we were going to different highschools and it was just to hard to get out and do stuff together.(he goes to an all-boys school i go to an all-girls school) our achedemics are crazy but we have both learned to handle them pretty well. He also didn't like a relationship i had with my neighbor (the guy i just broke up with). Ben thought we were more than friends, which at the time wasn't true but afterwards, the other guy and i dated for a while. He was nothing though and our relationship went nowhere. We hardly talked-once again, it was more of a "title" relationship. all i know is i miss Ben and i am so insecure about what he might say this time around.I broke off our relationship both times because I didn't want to end up getting hurt. a few years ago, i believed commitment=too tied down and vulnerable. I dont believe this anymore but i think Ben still thinks i did. He was always the serious one in the relationship and he took thing a lot more serious than i did.

He could also be feeling insecure now because of the breakups as well as getting hurt. What was the reason for the "not going anywhere" part of the relationship with Ben and how will he and you know that it won't happen again? Instead of trying to tell him that you like him, which he seems to be showing based on your other post, see if you two can work on a better relationship instead of the title.

exactly! i want a relationship that isn't just a title, one that matters, but isn't based on physical things either. He wouldn't ask that of me, but i thought i should just let that out haha. And what do you mean "seems to be showing"? showing that he returns the feelings? i hope so.

Yes, that's what I meant. So take things slowly while you are sure that he isn't dating or interested in someone else.

Hey Y'all I just wanted to say thank you for all the advice because I think it worked for the most part. Ben asked me out last Friday "officially" but we've been going places for the past month. He admitted he liked me a few weeks ago and now the only real thing we need to work out is how to break it to my friend. But thanks I'm so happy we are working out again!

You're welcome.