i need help! she wont full trust me

me and my girlfriend are amazing together. love each other heaps, and do everthing together now. its just we have a bad past. where we were both dicks. both cheated, but in my tiny defense, it was when we started to get together, before we were official. she cheated when were together. but she asked me when i was drunk if i had pulled anyone else. i said no. then i told her a while later. once when i was drunk, i let my friend pull me. she punished me so much by hating me, then once i got her back, she cheated and said its cause she never trusted and cause she couldnt get over how i lied. she did this a few times until i couldnt take it anymore. i am not a lier. but i understand why she thinks that. but i learnt my lesson the hard way, and i would never lie to her again. and so i left her, but she said she was sorry and would try and get over it. we have been together almost a year now. its amazing. i love her so much and she feels the same way. we are so close together, but recently she told me that she just cant have me being friends with the girl i cheated with. i let her be friends with huever she cheated with. and she is sayin she just does not know how she could react if my friend said hi to me in town. she could cheat agian. my girlfriend is so amazing. but she is so stuburn. and if she feels like that she will cheat, but the next day she would hate herself for it and want me back. but she says its just the way she feels. she doesn no. what am i supposed to do? i told her i want hang out with my friend anymore. but i cant stop her saying hi to me in town or something. what do i do? does she think she can cheat and then say it is for that reason and i will still take her back? she loves me so much and wants to be with me. its so obvious we are crazy in love with each other, but she can be so stuburn and she is a party animal. gets a bit too drunk sometimes. like me. how can i get her to trust me no matter what? please help

many thanks

Sounds bad. She is blackmailing you into not seeing your friend by using the threat of cheating. Think of the pattern this could mean. What if she starts using this to make you do whatever she wants?

what do i do tho? i love her so much! she means so much more to me than my friend does! i would do anything for her! and she loves me too. but just doesnt trust me, and she says when i speak to my friend again, she will break up with me. she says she knows thats how we will break up. but i no what she is like. she has this hard outer shell, but inside she will be crying and hurt without me. i know it. i hope. do i have no choice but to break up with her and hope she comes back saying she will learn to trust me? she is so stuburn she wont come back.

i dont want to lose her!!!

Well, you could just stop talking to this friend, although that doesn't mean things would necessarily be "back to normal" with your girlfriend.

but its wrong isnt it? my friends is such a good friend to me, when my girlfriend cheated on me, she was there to pick me up. she has been there for me no matter what. and also i work with her and my other very close friend works with us too. they are always there for me, no matter what. we always go out drinking and do stuff. but i love my girlfriend so much. i am so much closer to her than anyone else. i do everything with her. is there really no way she will ever be ok with it? I have become ok with her cheating on me! y cant she do the same. i have broken up with her now. but was that the wrong decision. will time apart mean she will realise she misses me, and will try become ok with it? should i introduce them? my friend says she would glady speak to my girlfriend and try and be friends with her? or will my girlfriend accept it and just move on? have i made a mistake?

It sounds like your friend is willing to do more than your girlfriend will, when it should be the other way around. I mean, you were willing to work things out but your girlfriend basically said, "Do it my way or I will cheat." Then again, your friend isn't that much of an angel either because she helped you to cheat on your girlfriend. Why did she do it? Why did you?

but there isnt anything i can do. its just when she my friend speaks to me in town then my girlfriend will break up with me. my friend never realised we me and my girlfriend were that serious and came onto me. i was drunk but that was no excuse, i still should have said no. but she punished me heaps, and now we are at this stage. i love her so much!i am still going to see my friend. is there no wat of getting her to be ok with it? will i just stay with her, not talk about it and hope she doesnt hurt me. but i want her to come back and tell me she will try and be ok with it? impossible? i forgave her.

Maybe your girlfriend is making you choose between her and your friend.
But do you think that she wouldn't use cheating to have her way again?

i dont no. but its got to this stage. we love each other so much, but she is saying she just doesnt trust me and cant handle me still being friends with my friend i cheated with. so she is saying she thinks it might be best if we end it now. i keep telling her no. i love her so much. but she is just saying she wont be able to take it when my friend says hi to me. she feels like there is no choice. i love her so much. this cant be. it just cant be. i love her so much surely there can be something i can do. i just cant lose her. she is my life! anything?

You could ask her if she would trust you if you stopped talking to your friend. Is that something you would want to do though?

yes i have. i told her i will stop speaking to my friend. but thats wrong isnt it? but i cant stop my friend from saying hi to me in town or whatever. we have so much fun together and are amazing together but after a while it always comes back round to this. is there no way she will ever let me be friends with my friend? like if my friend says hi to me in town, then my girlfriend will be like she cant do this anymore. i got over her cheating why cant she?if i break up with her will she begin to miss me and maybe come back being able to forgive me? being able to have me and my friend being friends?

i dont want to lose my girlfriend. she measns everything to me. i dont want to regret losing her.

It's up to you if you want to put up with your girlfriend's demands.

i do. its just its not really a demand. its her saying there is nothing we can do. we have no choice but to break up. but i want her to be able to say she has forgiven me and she is ok with me and my friend being friends. is that just not a possibility?

Ask her.

i have. and she says she cant deal with it. i love her so much. i breakdown if i just think about my life without her. if i think about our times together. is that it? do we really have to break up? if we do break up, is there a possibility that she would miss me and learn to forgive me and be ok with me and my friend being friends?

What did she say when you gave the idea of not speaking to your friend anymore?

she just said she doesnt trust me and doesnt think she ever will. she knows i wont speak to my friend. but my friend me and my girlfriend are all in similar circles. i will bump into my friend in town. and my girlfriend is saying she wont be able to cope with even that. so she will break up with me then. and she is saying that she doesnt want us to end up hating each other. i dont want to lose my girlfriend. i love her so much! am i doomed?

You could ask her what it would take for her to trust you.

she will just say there is nothing that can be done. she will say that she just doesnt trust me and trust cant be repaired. can u rebuild trust?

Yes, but if she's not interested, then it's not worth losing your friend over.

ok thank you for ur replys. it has been a great help. i just hope more than anything that this can be sorted and i can just be with her. i love her so much.

You're welcome.