I think i'm in love with my ex girlfriend

I have been married for 5 years and i've known my wife since high school. I"m 26 and we got married young and we just had a child 2 years ago and bought a house together. My problem is just recently i started talking to my ex girlfriend and i found out that we both still have feelings for each other. We met up a couple times secretly and at first it was just strictly a friendship type thing. But of course one thing lend to another and we ended up sleeping with each other. My ex feels bad because she doesn't wanna be the girl on the side so she is telling me to go back to my wife and try and patch things up. I'm at a point though where i feel like i'm falling back in love with her and i want to leave my wife. The only problem is my wife knows who this girl is and both of r moms go to the same church so if i tell my wife the truth then that could cause a whole other issue in itself. Back when me and my ex girlfriend where dating we where both young and not fully mature in r relationship, We hardly ever saw each other and we where both under the impression that what we had wasnt really that serious so i ended up breaking up with her to be with my wife. Now that i'm married i feel like leaving her was a mistake and that maybe i left the relationship prematurely. A part of me wants to pursue the relationship that we once had but the other part doesn't wanna hurt my wife. But then again i already feel like i'm hurt my wife by not telling her the truth. I no longer feel the connection that i once had with my wife and i feel like the love is slowly vanishing. When i'm with my ex though everything seem so naturally. what do i do.

You're right. Your wife will be hurt either way.
What caused the breakup between you and your ex?

Well when we where together we where young like 16 and 17 and we talked on the phone every now and then but we hardly saw each other so i guess u can say r relationship never had a chance to mature and i never thought r reltionship was that serious until i left her for my wife. So r breakup didn't end on a bad note cause we where still cool. Then years later we manage to cross paths and i found out that we still had feelings for each other. She even told me that when she found out that i got married she cried about it for awhile because she felt like i should have been her husband and even though she's happy for us she says that when she see's us together it's like torture. She even told me why she was so distant when we where together cause she was going thru some things. and my ex's believe it or not want me to stay in my marriage and try to work at it but i'm at the point where i don't think i want to anymore. And the bad part about it is my wife knows my ex and she knows that i left her to be with my wife so for me to tell her the truth it's almost like a slap in the face and i don't want to hurt anybody but when i'm with my ex i'm so happy and when i'm not i'm miserable and my wife can tell that something is bother me and i can't bring myself to tell her. We got a child together and we bought a house so that just makes things even more complicated. Do i stay in my marriage and be unhappy or do i leave my wife for my ex and be happy but have to deal with a divorce and on top of that her mom and my mom know us and know that we use to date so everybody is gonna look at her like she's a homewrecker and there look at me like i'm wrong for leaving my wife. and my ex doesn't want me to tell her the truth cause if i do then it will get back to her mom and then she is gonna have to her it from her but she understands that if i'm not happy then i shouldn't be with my wife so it's kinda like a double edge sword

What about your wife caused you to leave her? You said that your ex was distant, but your wife must have had something about her for you to switch.

well i haven't left my wife yet but me and my wife have this constantly arguement which we have been having for the past 5 years where she feels as though i don't communicate with her and that i don't spend any time with her. She feels like i don't show her n e emotion or love and affection. I try to talk to her but if i don't have n e thing to say then i'm not gonna talk. Then if she ask me how i feel about something if i give her a one word answer it's not good enough. She wants me to expand on my thought. She wants me to show some emotion when she gets upset about something and i'm not the type of person to get all upset about things. i'm a lay back person. I've been tryin for the past 5 years to change the way i act towards my wife but i keep going back to my old self. When i'm with my ex we can sit down and talk about anything. If i want to show my ex affection it comes natural there is nothing force about it. I feel like my wife deserves someone who can love her the way she need to be love because i don't think i can give her want she needs anymore.

You haven't answered my question. I was asking why you got with your wife and additionally mean why you stayed with her for five years.

well i got with my wife cause my ex at the time was going thru some things at home. She was raised by her mom and her mom was never around cause she was always working so she never stayed home and she was always out which made her distant in r relationship. and when she explain that to me years later i understood that. I stayed with my wife for 5 years because at the time she was able to complete that void that i was missing and i was comfortable with my relationship. I had dated my wife for 5 yrs before we decided to get married and then we where married for another 5 yrs so that's 10 yrs that i had invested in r relationship but now the happiness that i use to have with my wife i now find in my ex.

So you stuck with your wife because of the ten years that were invested. This void that you mention: Is it something that you had wanted your ex to fill but decided to do with your wife out of convenience? It sounds like your wife was trying to get you closer to her but after ten years with her, you're seem to be more attracted to your ex. If so, you should have a talk with your ex to see if you would really be a good couple with her.

yea i think if my ex had of been there to fill that void then i would probably still be with her but i was getting inpatient with my relationship with my ex so i went to my wife instead.

Your impatience has punished you, your wife, and your ex, so I can see why your ex wants you to work on your marriage first in case you get into further trouble. See if you still want to be with your ex after a month. If that's the case, you'll still have to think about why you left the ex and why you will leave your wife.

you fucked up by getting married in the first place. Any reasonable man would have focused on becoming a millionaire first.