I want my ex boyfriend back... Very Upset

Dawn sweetie I think that is the best thing you can do. It is no use trying to hang on to a dream already gone. That sounds very tough, and cruel, and unfortunately is so the truth....

I wish you strength and hope you will meet a boy that deserves you soon

OK.. so i fucking blew it....... I TOLD MYSELF I WOULD NOT CONTACT HIM BECAUSE I PROMISED HIM ETC........ WELL I ENDED UP TEXTIN HIM TO SEE HOW HE WAS.. AND O GUESS WHAT... THEN I ENDED UP CALLING HIM AND LEFT HIM A VOICEMAIL WITH MUSIC PLAYING.. LOL THEN I TEXTIN HIM AGAIN SAYIN FINE THEN DONT EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN IF U WANT TO BE THAT WAY. THEN HE CALLED ME.. AND WAS LIKE YOU CANT EVEN KEEP A PROMISE WHEN U SAY U WONT CALL ME OR ANYTHING. SO BASICALLY HE SAID HE CANT TRUST ANYTHING THAT EVER COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH EVER AGAIN.. NOW WHAT THE FUCKKKK LIKE ITS SO HARD NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TO TALK TO SOMEONE. SO HE EVEN TOLD ME HE WAS PLANNIN ON CALLING ME AT CHRISTMAS BUT O NOOOOO I FUCKED IT UP...... I THINK THIS GUY IS A TOTAL DUSCHE BAG BECAUSE HONESTLY IF THE SITUATION WAS FLIPPED I'D BE FLATTERED THE PERSON CALLED ME YA KNOW?? I JUST DONT GET IT... SO WHEN HE HUNG UP I WAS EXCEPTING HIM TO SAY BYE ILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN IN WHICH HE TOLD ME......... ILL TALK TO YOU LATER.......?????

NOW WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??? WELL I GOT UPSET ETC..... I DELETED ALL OF HIS NUMBERS OUT OF MY PHONE AND SINCE WELL I DIDNT WRITE THEM DOWN... I DONT HAVE THEM ANYMORE. I WISH I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE.. THEN I WOULDNT BE IN THE SITUATION THAT IM IN NOW.... HONESTLY I LOVE THE BOY DEATH BUT HOW IN THE HELL CAN SOMEONE GET PISSED OFF AT SOMEONE FOR CALLING THEM WHEN THEY KNOW DEEP DOWN INSIDE THEY WANTED ME TO CALL IN THE FIRST PLACE????

IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE DOES IT??? I BELIEVE AT THIS POINT HES NEVER GONNA TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN SO FUCK IT!!


ANY ADVICE??? PLEASE SURE..... FRANKLY I THINK THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT!!!!!!!! WHAT A COMPLETE ASSHOLE AND ALL I CAN DO IS PRAY TO GOD BECAUSE NOONE ELSE CAN HELP ME NOT EVEN HIM.

ID APPRECIATE ANYYYYYYYY ADVICEE... I JUST THINK ALL OF THIS SUCKSSSSS AND HE SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT HE HAD AND NOT PISSED OFF BECAUSE THAT PERSON CALLED.. I MEAN WHAT DOES HE EXPECT??? FOR ME TO NOT CARE AT ALL? I THINK HES A FUCKING ASSHOLE AND HE NEEDS TO SEE WHAT AN ASS HES BEING I JUST DONT KNOW TO GET HIM TO SEE THAT.

PLEASE ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP!! THANKS SO MUCH......

What else would you like to hear Dawn?
You erased his numbers ( but don't you see him anymore in college?) so you can't phone him anymore.
I wouldn't have done that.
I would have asked him straight in the face: do you want a relationship with me or not?
Whatever he would answer I would accept, except talking his way outta it.

Let me update this... so that day... he said all that right?? We he ended up calling me @ 2am that night.. which would really be the next day but ya know what I mean... One thing he did say before all the stuff that Im about to write is that theres a line of LOVE and OBSESSION.. and he feels if u cant go 2 weeks without talken to someone then ur obsessed or some bullshit! I dont think thats true. I asked my dad if he could go 2 weeks without talken to my mom and he said NO and VICE VERSA!! So thats a LIE! I KNOW my parents love eachother so why would his theory be true??


I dont really remember the whole conversation except these 2 things and I dont understand what it means...

He said whenever he thinks about me he thinks of the future

AND... He said everytime he thinks about me one thing he misses is like my smile, company, me being crazy around him... he went into details on how I am and the ways I am around him etc...

NOW WHY IN THE HELL WOULD HE TELL ME THESE 2 THINGS???

In what way does me ANY good???

What does he mean by future??? What in the hell does that mean?? If it means he can see me in his future... THEN WHY NOT NOW?!?

Honestly... if he TRULY CARES ABOUT ME like he says... and if he loves me or if he even THINKS OR FEELS he loves me...

THEN HE WHY IN THE HELL IS HE DOING THIS????

HE WOULDN'T BE.. BECAUSE HONESTLY.. I DONT SEE THIS AS LOVE... I SEE THIS AS HATE OR PUNISHMENT!!!

I dont know what hes trying to accomplish... but apparently hes just trying to hurt me and I think its bullshit.

I cant deal with it.. o ya I did get his numbers back by him calling me... but still none of this makes sense.

I have TURNED TO GOD EVERYDAY... and without him Id be dead I feel like. I just dont understand why or how he can just act as if Im NON EXISTENT!?

DO YOU HONESTLY THINK HE DOESNT THINK OF ME AT ALL??? I MEAN I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE AND ALL OF THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!! I CANT EVEN GAIN ANY WEIGHT IM SERIOUS.

WHEN I STRESS... I LOSE IT OR IT DOES NOTHING!! I HAVE BEEN SICK THROWING UP OVER THIS BOY... DIAREHHIA.. ETC!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! I HAVE PRAYED FOR PEACE... HIM TO JUST COME TO ME AND TELL ME EXACTLY WHATS GOING ON WITH NO BULLSHIT ANSWERS AND JUST THE HONEST TRUTH!! NONE OF THIS HAS HAPPENED AND I HONESTLY DONT THINK IT EVER WILL!! IT HAS TO STOP BECAUSE I CANT KEEP GETTING SICK OVER HIM! I HAVE DONE THINGS TO FORGET HIM ETC IT DOES NOTHINGGGGG!!!!!!!

I STILL DREAM OF HIM AND EVERYTHING... IT DOES NOT GO AWAY..

MY QUESTION TO GOD AND MYSELF AND HIM IS WHEN WILL IT ALL END?? OR COME TO TERMS ETC?? I CANT DO THIS AND IM NOT EVEN TRYING TO HELP MY SITUATION YA KNOW?? IM TRYING TO FORGET IT AND MY BODY STILL FIGHTS AGAINST ME BY KEEPING ME SICK ETC! IM LOST AND I JUST WANT PEACE AND HAPPY TIMES IN MY LIFE AND I FEEL THAT IF HE JUST CAME BACK TO ME FOR GOOD OR WHATEVER IT WOULD FIX IT ALL BECAUSE IVE TRIED EVERYTHING ELSE AND NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK REGARDLESS OF WHAT I DO!!!!!!!!

I JUST NEED HELP!!! IVE EVEN SEEN A PSYCHIATRIST.. AND NOTHING!!!! I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS!! ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP PLEASE!!!!

Well for the hurt of losing a love there is only you that can help yourself and even that will go through phases with loads of pain. Unfortunately there is no 'magic' remedy to it.

It's Christmas... and he TEXTED me.. uve gotta be kidding.. He cant even call?? I think thats the rudest way to tell anyone merry christmas.. I texted him back ya at least someone will be getting everything they wish for this year... something to that extent. I have prayed to God So much!!! It's like he's not supposed to be back in my life.. I dont know.

I talked to a 40 something old lady last night who is dating this guy who has 2 kids and has been divorced etc. She told me.. if the guy comes back then he's worth it but if not then he never was worth to begin with. Also she told me never settle for less. Honestly, with the way things have been going.. I see NO PROGRESS WHATSOEVER!

My Christmas wish is for him just to show up at my house and tell me he was wrong etc.....but it would only take a miracle for that to happen...

Well Im about to go open presents! Maybe that'll cheer me up... as for him..... I just wish he'd understand and see what he's doing to me because its so wrong and hurtful that Im starting to hate him because of it.

If anything else happens today Ill fill you in... but I DOUBT IT! Like I said it would only take a miracle or an angel to help me out in my wishes etc. I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas and get everything you want... because of the looks of things.. I wont be getting everything on my Christmas List in which its not even that big... only 5 items.. and hes on it.. so I wish hed be on it but I doubt it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS U GUYS! and... any advice would help! Ill update if anything else happens....

Merry Christmas Dawn, and lots of good luck in the New Year

He called!!!!!!!!!! BOTTOM LINE HE TOLD ME THE REASON HE HAS DONE ALL THIS IS: HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO THINK, WONDER, PRAY, HOPE, WISH ETC.......HE WANTED TO KNOW HOW HE TRULY FEELS!!!!!!! BASICALLY...... AND I WANT THIS 2>.... HE WANTS TO TELL ME IN PERSON!!!!!! AND THE WHOLE NOT TALKEN 2 ME THING WAS FOR HIM TO REALIZE HOW HE TRULY FEELS....

I WILL UPDATE WHEN I FIND OUT..........!!!!!!!!

CALL ME CRAZY BUT I THINK HE HAS FINALLY REALIZED THIS SHIT!! HONESTLY!!!!!!!!

ILL LET U KNOW IF IM WRONG.......BUT I DOUBT IT.....

I JUST DONT KNOW WHEN THIS WILL BE......... PROB SOONER THAN LATER!!!!!!!!

LOOK I THINK HES FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!

I PROMISE U GUYS WILL BE KNOW AS SOON AS I DO! I DO WANT TO KNOW IN PERSON FROM HIM.......

AYNGEL I THINK U ARE RIGHT.... they say if u let love go.. in which I HAVE..... and if it COMES BACK... THEN.. Its meant to be........ I honestly truthfully know this is it! I JUST DONT KNOW WHY ITS TAKEN THIS LONG FOR HIM TO FIGURE IT OUT!!

ILL UPDATE!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! MAYBE THE NEW YEAR IS JUST WHAT I NEED!

WHAT DO U GUYS THINK??? ANY OPINIONS!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year (a bit late but I mean it) Dawn

Did you hear anything from him in the meanwhile since your posting of dec. 27?

Hey Ayngel! YES I have heard from him and saw him.... etc! Well I will say this I know God is on my side, because...well I know what your thinking.... or gonna think... but WE ARE BACK TOGETHER! IT TOOK HIM SO MUCH TIMe TO ReALIZE SHIT.. I DONT KNOW... I FEEL THAT GUYS ARE HARD HEADED OR SOMETHING!! BUT WE ARE BACK TOGETHER! IM SO HAPPY!!

Here's the catch though... Im making him PROVE TO ME he cares.. not just by telling me things but by SHOWING me!

THIS RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT BE ABOUT SEX BECAUSE WHATS A RELATIONSHIP IN THAT?? YA KNOW?

Basically... I said if I got the chance it would be done right. Well IT IS GOING TO BE DONE RIGHT!!

I appreciate everyones help!!

I love this boy and he finally KNOWS... I dont know whats with guys in having to know something rather than just trusting in it...

Thanks again everyone! ANY COMMENTS WOULD BE GREAT!! THANKS AGAIN!!!!! MUCH LOVE!!

Well Dawn, I am so happy for you. Good luck together.

THANKS GIRL!!! THIS WILL BE DONE RIGHT!!

Ok... it's been like FOREVER since I've wrote in this thing... but I will say that things between us have been good... I do have or had rather two issues... in which one I've given to God to handle and well the other one I'm battling. My first issue is PORN>>>>> in which I've always had a problem with... and like I said God will handle that. I don't want to snoop through his stuff to see if he's doing it... but I wish he'd just realize what's right in front of him. To be honest... he should just KNOW AND LOVE ME!!! MY OTHER ISSUE IS THAT... Honestly I have a jealousy problem. There's this girl in one of his college classes... and like all the sudden he keeps bringing up her name... and she asked him to do lunch etc. I finally got fed up with it and asked him is there something going on that I need to know about? He claims that she knows that he has a girlfriend...aka ME and that she has a bboyfriend.. but the thing is... I've NEVER MET THE BITCH and it BOTHERS ME SO BADLY that he's talken to her especially when I'm not in his class to know waht the hell they are talking about. Not to mention... I MADE HIM LUNCH TODAY AND HE BLEW IT OFF AND WOULDN'T EAT UNTIL I PRACTICALLY FORCED IT DOWN HIS THROAT to come to find out that "THEY" as in her and him walked to the food thing on campus in between their classes and got breakfast! WHAT THE HELL??? LOOK THIS SHIT PISSES ME OFF AND I NEED SOME ADVICE!!!!!!!! I DONT want to drive him away... but like you think he's cheating on me?? LIke... you really think he'd snoop THAT LOW?! I know I'm probably over reacting but the thing is I LOVE AND TRUST THIS BOY... BUT I DONT TRUST ANYONE ELSE... I DONT WANT TO GET HURT!! Please any advice about this would help... Other than that... things are good! Well please advice would help me out! I'd appreciate it greatly!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll update on this situation soon.... bye!!

I don't think he's cheating on you. I also think you should leave him some room and start working on your jealousy issue. Girl, this is not the way to stay friends....

Do you mean not the way to stay together? We are together.. U know that right?! I love him but I dont want him hurting me... Like honestly I feel that he should just see my point of view. I will take your advice on not hounding his ass so much but at the same time... I would like to be a part of his life... hello I AM his girlfriend! LOL Ok one more thing... I feel that our realtionship is getting boring.. like it's the same ole shit with a different day.. but not fighting just the routine.. and I want our sex life should be more upbeat... but my period is here... so ya kinda hard to do... I want to be sexy and please him etc but the thing is... it costs money to come up with all these diff outfits ya know? Like I need OTHER ways to spicce it up so he wont watch porn.. ya know?! any ideas?!? I did cook for him last night... something different he enjoyed it! But I need MORE AND MORE IDEAS!! LOTS WOULD HELP!!! Well I appreciate your advice!! Ill keep ya posted! ttyl...

ONE MORE THING... about the boring stuff.. It's like WE DONT HAVE TIME.. our schedules are so crazy it sees the same like EVERYDAY!!! I wanted to add that in... so ya... I want it more SPICED UP!! TIPS WOULD HELP ME!!!

Hmmmm this starts to sound like you are getting bored of him? What for to 'spice things up' if it isn't boring to be with him then?

Dawn, I followed this a long time now, but I start to get the feeling that you are suffocating him. GIRL leave him some room. Don't overstretch it ("spicy" and take things as they come. You CANNOT be in control of everything, you know?

If you need 'spicing up' I defenitely think he needs to play a part in it as well. Else it seems to me you are just trying 2hard...

He took me to a concert this weekend and we both went home and hung out with our families etc! It was a BLAST!!! 8) Honestly I think this is what I needed to do something spontaneous and crazy with him! 8) It was the best weekend ever!!!

Thanks for the advice... I will take things as they come... yes I know I like to be in control but most girls can't be... I dont want to suffocate him either.. so I will take your advice and just sit back and relax and ride the rollercoaster. And then only deal with situations as they pop up and not stress over ones that aren't even happening.

I appreciate everything! 8) Well I hope all is well with you! I just need to be ME and NOT stress or anything!! I'll keep you updated!! Thanks again for everything!

OK, good to hear. Take it easy

well, if you are really meant for each other, destiny will find a way to bring back the two of you! have hope! everything will turn out fine.

take care girl!

Post edited by: ayngel, at: 2008/06/10 09:10

Ok long time again since I've said anything... Everything has been really good since my last post. I will say we have had a few fights but who hasn't... right?? Well one of my biggest things and it's still an issue that has been brought back up is PORN and anything related like even talking about going to strip bars etc.... Look I love the boy to death but I would trade for something to happen to me for him to STOP watching porn any day of the week... So I hadn't looked at anything in a while ya know... then he stepped out of the room and I saw in his history that he had looked at porn or he had searched for like pussy big tits + red heads fucking... something to that extent... and then I called him out on it and he told me that I dont trust him...

Well HELLO?? How can I trust someone that I find out behind his back that he IS doing the ONE THING that hurts me the most??? It doesn't make sense... Well since that night I haven't looked at anything on his computer... but the thing is why would he want to hurt me? HONESTLY.. like is that his goal? If he didn't then why let me "trust" him if he's doing these things behind my back? I just don't get it...

YES... I snooped but can you blame me??

Any advice would help!! Things have gotten better between us since that night... but it's hard for me to trust him over that ONE thing considering when I did trust him and then finally snooped I found all of that stuff... it doesn't make sense...

Thanks JohnTentzera for your advice... but the only thing I dont understand is... DESTINY is obviously playing a major part to keep us together in the PORN perspective because I hate it extrememly... If it's not DESTINY than I dont know what else is...

Please any advice on this would help...

I'd appreciate it very much

Hey hun! I'm a newbie at this, and am recently going through something similar to what you had. Sort of. I'm in the beginning stages, if you will.

I gotta say, I read everything, and I'm so glad to hear you made it!!! :o) I'll briefly give you a synopsis of what's happening to me right now:

My boyfriend decided he needed to take time away to grow up without me holding his hand like I always have. This was 2 weeks ago, and I was totally heartbroken. We lived together for almost 2 years, but dated for 3 years. He is my favorite. At first, he didn't move because he works (his only day off is Tuesday). Well, those few days he was around, he was the biggest sweetheart - hugging, kissing me, and telling me I'm the only one he'll ever marry. I was sad but calm when he left. Well, I left him alone for 2 days, and then decided I couldn't take it anymore and tried to call him, and the text message terrorism started from my end - he did say I could call him to say goodnight! Well, he never EVER responded (he still has a ton of his stuff in my place).

Last week I called him at work and asked if he was coming over and he said "No, Tuesdays with Delia got pushed for next week". So I was like "OK well we need to talk" and he said he'd call me the next day, and I got nothing. So I gave up, and decided to not call him at all. Its been one week today. And today was the day he was suppose to hang out with me. No calls.

I know this is long, but from someone who was successful in getting their ex back, I'd love advice or comfort. I haven't been able to get any comfort at all! I miss him, but I have a feeling I need to be patient and have hope. Our relationship was amazing - there's a cute story that I can tell you later if you want to hear it. I guess its a sign of soul mate connection. But yeah! so I'm glad it worked out for you guys... just need help too :o)

much love!

PS/ I haven't texted or called him at all. Just now, I sent a text saying it was my mom's birthday today, but I hope to see him at her birthday sail next week, and gave directions on which wharf we were going to meet at. I put a smiley face and thats it.

I hope it wasn't a boo-boo, but he was close to my mom, so I figured he should at least know when and where the sail was. Other than that, I'm not calling him or texting him until he does.

Any ideas?

Delia, welcome to the forum

Tough times, hey?!

Why don't you try to call him? I mean, OK - he needs his space right now and you should give him that, but what is wrong with talking say.. once a week or something? Just casual talk about what happened to you during the week and things like that. Try not to let the eagerness of wanting him sound through your voice. But call. I mean: he has wishes - but you are a person too with wishes and just as entitled to them as he is and if your wish is to talk with him - then just call. Don't cypher yourself out.

I did last week... and he said he'd call but never did :o( so I kind of don't know if its a good idea to call. I would love to but IDK. When I do, he tends to not pick up (his only days off are Tuesdays, and I tried this last Tuesday and I KNOW he wasn't out of area)... by waiting, am I doing the right thing? Or should I try to catch him at his work ?

OK So update:

I called him at his work, asked if he was still doing the catering for the sunset sail and he said "IDK" and I said "OK, well I need to know by tommorow because if not I need to order it" and he said "OK" and thats it.

I called his cell phone, and luckily his voicemail box wasnt full so I left a message saying "I know you're the type to run away when you think you did something wrong, but you don't need to do that. I don't care that we're not together, but I would love to know if you're still alive. So yeahh call me when you can, ok? Bye." I tried not to sound upset, I just made it really dry.

Not sure if I made a good decision. I miss him so much but the way he's acting is making me lose all my hope, even though there's some left.

Help :o(

Well, to be frank... his reaction indeed doesn't provide for much hope... I wish I could say something else, but this is the impression I am receiving from what you wrote about his reactions...

Even though its been only 2 weeks?