I want my ex boyfriend back... Very Upset

Some new advice and its just my opinion......

You are doing to much.
How do you remember all those details.
Relax and act like nothing he does bothers you and you will see

Good idea.

Here's my new mantra:

I am the Goddess,
He is the idiot.
He WILL call.

:o) I know him, and I know this will work. Itll be ok.

Delia87 wrote:

Even though its been only 2 weeks?

No, I didn't mean the time lapsed but the words he reacted with.


But you know him best. This could also just be "show"

Here's my thing behind my mantra: think positive things, and positive things will happen! It's kind of like Cesar Milan says about dog training... if you think something bad is going to happen, it will.

Think happy thoughts!

Yeah, I am a great believer in that as well

Hi Delia87... I rarely get on this as much as I used too... but I would like to say that what you're going through is very similiar to my situation.... but different....

I'd love to hear your cute story etc too..

First of all... are we the same age?? jw... That would be very ironic.....

Second... how old is he??

How long have you guys known eachother... etc!?

Here's some advice... guys are hard headed... trust me I KNOW THIS from all the bullshit I was put through....

Also... If he truly loves you he WILL COME BACK!

Did you change in your relationship???

If you keep calling him... IT WILL ONLY TAKE LONGER...I learned this the hard way...

TRUST mE... It took me to not talk to my guy for A WHOLE MONTH for him to fall down on his hands and knees before he realized how much I meant to him...

Let him contact you! I have been there girl and it seems like it's the end of the world but trust me it will get better.

Now I will say while me and my boyfriend were broke up he did try to talk to other girls etc... It all seemed to backfire in his face... Have you ever heard the saying "Everything Happens For a Reason" ??? I believe this and I always will!! It is true you just have to have faith and believe God is on your side.

Some more advice.. God is always with you no matter what... through thick and thin etc.. TALK TO HIM... LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!! He helped me and without him I wouldn't be where I am today.

Well girl I'm going to bed but I will try to check this tomm!!

GOOD LUCK! 8) TRUST ME YOU NEED IT!

KEEP ME POSTED!!

If you dont read the bible too much here's a quote I've lived by and has helped me through everything:

"You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it." (Matthew: 21:22)"

I hope everything works out for the best!

Awwww sweetie, you know you really hit it hardcore for me. I believe in exactly that!! I DID talk to God, it was about a week and a half ago I got really exasperated and freaked out, started going "GIVE ME A SIGN!!! ANYTHING PLEASE! take the pain away!"

Well... about an hour later, I had this weird serenity... like I KNEW he loved me and everything would be ok. Strangest darn thing that's ever happened to me.

OH before I forget, yes I think we are the same age, Eddie is a year older, and we have been dating for a bit over 3 years.

That night, with the serenity thing, I went outside to the little garden, and the Easter Lily Eddie had given to my mom BLOOMED! we were waiting for sooo long for it to bloom, and it did finally! and best of all, on her birthday :o)

I have decided on not contacting him. I'm trying to work on myself during this, because I realize alot of self-confidence issues came up during my relationship with him. And for no reason either, I had trusted him, but in the last few monthes I really had this issue about losing him to someone. And that was, what I think, backfired on me. SOOO I'm working on my self-esteem, taking pilates classes, and I even have a relationship coach (yeah, I know it sounds silly, but I needed it). OH and I might take up rock climbing .

I have no idea how much to thank you. Please, keep me cheery! I will keep posting about this. I love Eddie, but I think the space thing is best right now. He'll eventually find his way back home.

OH Cute story!!! DUH!

Ed and I did SEA Semester, but we went on separate ships - him on the Atlantic, me on the Pacific. For 6 weeks. During these 6 weeks, he had this journal he kept that he wrote in whenever he could. When we came back, he gave me the journal because he wanted to show me how much he missed me, even though he felt the journal was embaressing.

Its sooooo cute... every entry has something with me in it :o)

When he left, he left the journal behind. That night I decided to read it, and there's an entry for October 29, that says "Today I had to go out on the bowsprit to clear my head. But I couldn't. I didn't think about the science or the sailing, all I could think about was Delia"

So I was like "HMM!!" and remembered that I had a day where I got really depressed on the boat, and decided to go out on the bowsprit. While I was out there, a pod of dolphins came out of nowhere and followed us, so I took a video of them. I still have the video, and it says when I took the video. Well, I decided to check it out, because I thought it'd be cool to see when the video was taken, and if it was around the same time.

Low and behold, October 29th. :o)

Hey Delia87... So any new status on the boy?? Another thing to remember that MEN ARE COMPLICATED! Once they have their mind set to something... they immediatley don't change their mind....

For instance, this has nothing to do with problems in a relationship but just an example of what I'm trying to say. My boyfriend bought some leather to make him a phone case by scratch so it would be the way he wants it. Well last night we went out to eat and all he could think about was how he was going to make his phone case. I was like we are out to eat could you please NOT worry about that right now. It seemed to me that's all that was on his mind in which it was. He finally quit thinking so much about it after we played some pool and had a few drinks. But just to prove my point there ya go. Men have this mental block that when they want something or think of something they do it and stick to it. Rarely anything changes their mind... only time will help it...

Another thing to remember about men is that EVERY GUY HAS SELECTIVE HEARING.... So if it seems ever that he DONT listen to you... YOU ARE RIGHT... Just a word of advice.

Well I wish you luck with everything and I pray that it all works out for the best!! Keep me posted! GOOD LUCK! 8)

NO new status, I'm too busy to worry about him anyway :o)

Alright, so not entirely true, but I'm never going to admit that to him. I miss him, but its cool.. So far, I've seen guys run after something when its been missing for so long. Your guy did that with you, so I backed away for that reason. I kind of want the grand gesture, you know? Im not trying to raise my expectations, I'm just letting him be the man.

What stinks is when I miss him... I hate coming home and realizing he's not going to walk through the door after work. It'll be ok though :o)

I'll keep you posted, thanks for the encouragement! I need it right now!

From the sound of it, it's going to be okay, Delia (but don't rely on it, it's just my gutfeelings when reading this)

Status report: My relationship coach told me it was ok to contact him for business related issues (AKA bills and such), so I did. I didn't want to , but I did. it went something like this:

Me: "Hi, may I speak with Eddie please?"
Eddie: "Speaking..."
Me: "Hey, can you put money in the account tommorow?"
Eddie: "Yeah, sure, of course I was planning on it anyway."
Me: "Cool alright, talk to you later"
Eddie: "Wait... how much do you need?"
Me: "I don't care, it's just the insurance and cell phone"
Eddie: "Cuz I was going to put $200 is that alright?"
Me: "Sure, whatever. I gotta go, bye!"

My relationship coach told me to sound busy, it'll get him curious. the best part was he sounded lukewarm!! like he wanted to keep talking but I was too busy!!

SOOO excited this is working!!! :o)

I love it!! Good job, Delia

Post edited by: ayngel, at: 2008/07/30 10:05

I GOT MORE UPDATES!!

So last night I had to call him because he had bought these tickets for me to go to Tanglewood on Parade (Boston Symphony Orchestra)... we go every year. It's our little tradition.

Obviously, problem was this whole breakup! , soooo I got to talk to my relationship coach for like an hour, and she said to just invite him! Like say that I thought it'd be a good idea, but ask him what he thought (to make sure it is his decision, not mine )...
Well, I got the courage up last night... I was getting pep talked and everything and finally did it. Here's what happened:

Me: "HEy! What's up?! Listen, have these tickets for Tanglewood and I really didn't want them to go to waste. I was thinking.. maybe we could go together? I thought it'd be wonderful if we did! WHat do you think?" (by the way, I was completely bubbly and happy)
Eddie: "I would love to, but honestly I can't afford it right now... I'm sorry, I would totally go"
Me: "It's cool! If it's the gas situation, I can help pay?"
Eddie: "No its not that, it's just that I have had to pick up more hours at work to help pay for things, and I'm really sorry"
Me: "Don't worry about it at all, I'll just go with someone else!"
Eddie: "I would LOVE to go with you, I really would... I'm so sorry... "
Me: "It's really okay, don't worry about it! I'll talk to you later"
Eddie: "I'm sorry... I would go with you"
Me: "I know, it's ok! Listen, I really gotta go - Bye!"
Eddie: "Bye buggy"

HE SAID BUGGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ok I know silly pet name) BUT HE CALLED ME BUGGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

20 points for Delia!!! WOOT WOOT!

I talked to my relationship about what he said, and she was like "He really is sorry honey, he sounds like he'd want to go with you"

awwwww :o( I wish he would but its cool, some things happen for a reason. It's all about time and patience :o)

Thanks Ayngel!!! Im working so hard at this!

I'm enjoying these updates, Delia. Mostly because they seem to suggest they are going the way you want it. I really keep my fingers crossed for you and hope this direction will continue. Your relationship counselor is a very, very wise woman

Hey Delia I haven't been on here in a while... but keep up the good work!! To me.. it seems so hard for what you are dealing with. I think in my mind all the stuff I went through with the guy that I love... and it hurt so badly. I wish you all the luck in the world and I will pray for you.

As for me right now... things are good except I got layed off from my job yesterday evening... I don't understand why it happened. I really need the money and I feel like I got screwed over big time. I'm trying to look for a new job but it just seems that nothing is working. I just pray that God can help me out with this and help me see why I lost the other job. I just need a new job that pays more or something and fast.

Anywhos I hope everything works out for you and for my situation. good luck! And keep updating!!

Ayngel - I love my relationship counselor! She really is wise, and she cares so much about our relationship... like she's not all about putting us back together, she wants to make sure we stop our bad habits and make it work forever. It's so cool :o)

dawn - honey I'm sooo sorry! Don't think about it in a bad way, just look at it as your new opportunity to maybe do something better. I know economic issues tend to rear their ugly heads in situations like that, but you my dear, all you have to ask is that God gives you a new opportunity, and expect that you'll get it. Remember, God did hear you! So don't freak out. Have faith :o)

I'll keep updating, I'm so excited that I know this is going to work out between us! I just have to remind myself, patience and love is key right now :o)

Sorry to hear you got laid off Dawn. I wish you luck and success in finding a new job. I am sure there must be opportunities out there for a bright young woman like you


Delia... great to hear. It sounds like you're in an upwards movement and I hope it'll all work out in the end

So.. my life doesn't seem to be getting any better... Me and Christian are fighting AGAIN... He started acting weird lately and I thought everything was fine.. well you know how that goes.. ONCE things seem fine to one person they ARE NOT! There's this girl that he works with and has worked with for a while... well she likes him. Frankly, he says that I am getting on his nerves lately. I told him to be straight up honest with me as in what was really going on.

He told me this: Lately a lot of his friends have been getting engaged and married etc. Well last night he told me that he says NO in his heart right now to this: If he can see himself marrying me or putting an engagement ring on my finger because of how I act about things... *KEY POINTS*: Jealousy, My whining, saying that nothing is ever good enough that he does for me, etc. Also I overreact about things and worry too much etc. ALSO.. He told me straight up that he doesn't know if he loves me or not... I just don't understand...

Well HELLO... How can I NOT be jealous when he stays at work late... 30 extra minutes talken to that girl that LIKES HIM.. HELLO?!? And on top of that he talks to her on the phone.. Frankly he says... If you trust me then you have nothing to worry about...

The other part of this is... I don't think I'm being true to myself or him.. At times I change who I am to please him or I THINK IM PLEASING HIM... but in reality I guess I'm not...

So why change anymore?!

I hope he hasn't already made the decision to get rid of me once and for all

BUT... IF I BE MYSELF 100% then... I guess that will TRULY determine if he loves me for me or not...

HIS LAST WORDS OF THE CONVO LAST NIGHT WAS THIS: "BE YOURSELF AND IF I DON'T LIKE IT THEN I CAN'T LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE SO THEN WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER IF THAT'S THE CASE."

I need a little advice here... All of my friends tell me to QUIT TRYING TO PLEASE HIM and JUST BE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

IM TAKING THAT ADVICE BUT THE FACT IS I DONT KNOW WHY I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT PLEASING HIM ANYWAY CONSIDERING APPARENTLY HE DOESN'T LIKE IT EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS THAT I AM PLEASING HIM...

I JUST HOPE IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO SHOW HIM THE REAL ME FULLY... BECAUSE WHEN WE DONT FIGHT I AM THE REAL ME... I JUST THINK I LET ME PLEASING HIM IN MY MIND GET IN THE WAY OF ME BEING MYSELF AND I CAN'T LET IT HAPPEN ANYMORE EVER AGAIN!!!!!

***ANY ADVICE WILL HELP*** I'VE LOST HIM ONCE AND I DONT WANT TO LOSE HIM AGAIN FOREVER 8'(

***I JUST HOPE IT'S NOTTTTT TOOOOOO LATEEEEEEE***
~*~PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND I NEED ANY ADVICE POSSIBLE ASAP~*~

I HONESTLY JUST DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS HAPPENING!!!
*ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP ME PLEASE*

Honey you need to email me ASAP - send a private message and I'll send the email addy to you. There's obviously alot of issues you need to work out with yourself... you're acting out of jealousy but well... just email me. If you love him, you'll understand soon enough why you need to talk to me. Or at least work with my relationship coach. It'll help you guys out alot.

OK MORE INSIGHT...

SO... UPDATE: HE CAME IN FROM LUNCH FROM WORK AND HE WON 4 TICKETS TO THE ASTROS GAME ON THURSDAY. WELL IF ME AND HIM WENT THAT'S 2 TICKETS AND ALSO HE ASKED HIS FRIEND KEVIN IF HE'D LIKE TO GO SO THAT'S 3 TICKET5 SO THAT LEAVES ONE MORE TICKET. GET THIS... HE HAD THE NERVE TO ASK HIS FRIEND KEVIN IF HE WOULD GO WITH TREANA.. THE GIRL THAT HE WORKS WITH... AND KEVIN SAID YA WHATEVER!! SO NOW SHE MIGHT GO... WTF!!!!

HONESTLY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?? HERE'S 3 CHOICES

A. HE WANTS TO GET CLOSER TO HER AND SEE IF HE'S GOING TO DUMP ME FOR HER AND HURT ME EVEN THOUGH WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT TOGETHER

B. HE TRULY WANTS TO HOOK KEVIN AND HER UP AND JUST TRULY BE FRIENDS WITH HER REGARDLESS IF SHE LIKES HIM

WHAT DO YOU THINK???

WELL PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK!!!!

***ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP!!!*** THANKS!

PS/ update on my situation: not much, the other night I wanted to call him and give him a heads up that they were going to refund him the money for the tickets (it rained on the day of the concert). So I did, but completely forgot that the time I called him he gets really really busy at work. He only said "hey, I'm really busy" (which is normal and completely fine), and I said "OK, bye" and hung up. I asked my coach if I should call him later or text him, and she said "Just drop it" and I was like "WHAT?!" , but then I remembered... she bases alot of her work on "old school", meaning, make him curious. Hey, she's awesome, and so far has put back together another couple that were engaged, and now they're back and married! So I trust her :o)

Besides that, she has me doing work on myself, like confidence homework, and so far its been awesome. Im doing fitness bootcamp :o) and signed up for a one day workshop for exotic dancing ! its so cool though, all of it. I just need to be 150% ready when I come back with Eddie... I need to have my confidence, and know how to navigate through problems.

Delia you coach sounds magnificent. A lady that knows what she is doing. You are lucky you found her

The weirdest part is... I still don't know how I found her. Funny how fate works :o)

And thanks for all your support ayngel :o) it means alot to know people are rooting me on!

That's right: that sure was fate. (I am a great believer in fate and chances and the way we either take advantage of them or not)

No thanks, Delia - I truly hope you will end up a happy person, with - or without - him. Because, after all, that is where it is all about

Update: AHHHH!!!! its really happening!! slowly but surely!!!! i'll put details when it gets to really occur, but all I gotta say is this:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, stupid, a bunch of exclamation points. but its the only way I could describe it :o)

I'll post my success story soon, don't worry. much love!

see here I'm in a relationship with this guy and i just say my ex and now i want to get back with him and wants the same but the thing is is that we live apart from each other and plus we don't know if we getting back together is the right thing plus how would we tell my boyfriend and his girlfriend that it's over. HELP ME

I totally understand what your dealing with. Me and my ex go to school together and we were good friends, as the year went on the closer we got. I started to like him while he had a girlfriend, I told him how I felt about him nd he started to get the same feelings for me. So he broke up with his girlfriend and we started talking a few days after they broke up. We tried to have a relationship. And it was good. Everyone would tell us how cute we are together. A couple days before our 1 month I broke up with him, and I absolutely regret doing it and I still do. If I could I'd go back to that day and fix everything I did to make us break up. I thought it would be the right thing to do because we having some ups and downs in our relationship. He was the first boyfriend that actually treated me like I was everything to him. He treated me with respect and I messed up everything. I was really happy while I was with him. I loved every minute I had when I was being with him everyday at school. We would always sit side by side in class and if we had lunch together I would spend it with him. I never wanted him to leave me to go to other classes. During the summer we tried to have a relationship again but he was confused and didn't know what he wanted so were just decided to stay friends. He knows I still love him and I'll always will.

But now as I look back at the situation we could of worked everything out and still be together. I always think about me and him and what the summer would of been like if we were still together. Know-one really knows how much I care about him and how much I love him. I would do anything to get him back into my life. I miss him alot. </3