I want my girl friend back

Ive been with this girl for 17 months on the 1st. everything was goin great we had alot of passion and alot of love for one another. we are 18 we satyed at my mothers house most of our relationship..
I would wake up make her breakfast. rub her feet after work, give her back massages buy her things she needed even if it was my last money. I really love this female and i have been for almost a year and a half..anyway a few months back she got a job. and i noticed things were getting weird.. less passion, less care, less understanding. then one day she comes home and said theres a cute guy at work that she likes but he only worked for 1 day.. he offered to rub her feet because she said they were hurting i felt a bit jealous but a foot rub isnt that big of a deal. anyway she was confused about us after that work day.. the next day she said she wanted to be with me for sure and she doesnt know what she was thinking. everything got better but i noticed it was still less passion and less love and all the good stuff. i figured it was because i didnt have a job, or i was unatractive. She said it wasnt but it would be nice.. i sometimes walk her to class and take walk her to work and pick her up and im usually there a half hour to 45 minutes early.. but yesterday she said she doesnt know about us she said im too clingy, im too nice, and too needy and i dont satisfy her emotionally.(i thought i was doing it right) i told her to go to her mothers for a few days and we'll take a break and see how it gets.. well when i took her to school i thought we were taking a break and she hugged me and kissed my lips. i was confused. i took her home and on the way we talked about our break and she thought it was best that we weren't together, but she kept accidently calling me baby.. well before she went to stay with her mother she told me she loves me and always wants me in her life just not as a boyfrienf. and i obviously want to be her boyfriend, the day it happened she said there was a 20 percent chance for us getting back together but today there isnt any.. i didnt give her her space because i am too clingy and needy and try not to be, but i had to see her. i brought her coffee this morning. im so scared i love this female more than any other female ive loved. i want to know how to get her back, should i just give her a few days? a few weeks?? what if she finds someone else?? she still looks at me very passionate and still shows me lots of love.. lots of hugs and i love yous.. i want this girl back

Thats my problem, I am too clingy and needy. i depended on my boyfriend SO EMOTIONALLY i was destroyed in every way when he dumped me.
I did everything for him too, i was a live in girlfriend so I, cleaned up after him in every way, (dishes, Made bed and laid out his clothes after work, did his laundry, cooked, rubbed his back for bed)
I treated him like a king and he drops the bomb on me 3 weeks ago "He didnt want to be in such a serious relationship" "He saw no future with me" "dead end relationship"
"didnt want to lead me on" "basically used me for sex"..ect ect..
I feel so foolish for giving him the world

I must say girls at that age are very tough to understand. I understand that you care about this girl a lot and that you enjoy doing these things for her. I have been through that type of shit before once or twice. You have to understand that girls at this age expect all of those things and expect to become first before everything in your life. You have done that as I can tell and that is where you went wrong. You have to stand your ground. Seems to me she is walking all over you and that is not fare to you. She wrote all about the things you do for her but said nothing about the things she does for you. She may show you love and affection but playing the games like she is doing isnt love at all. Real love is not a feeling its an ability. Think about. Really loving someone means that you are honest loyal and willing. Honesty is huge in a relationship. She is playing these mind games saying she wants to be with you one minute than telling you she likes a guy at work the next. Thats not honesty. Loyalty is another key factor in a relationship. He allowing herself to cling on to someone else while she says she loves you is not loyalty. If you are scared that she will find someone else than you really dont need to be with her in the first place. You must rid yourself of everything you are scard to lose. Meaning that a real relationship should have no fear. You shouldnt have to be scared to lose her because she should make you know that you wont. So dont blame yourself for this. I know you love her but you dont deserve to be filled with these mind games no one does. I tell you they happen a lot. So my advise is to you stand your ground dont change for her cause she will lose respect towards you. Even though it hurts dont show it to her. Agree with what she says about the friends thing cause it will drive her nuts. Girls want what they cant have and when you show her that you not hers anymore she will go crazy. But if you do get back with her remember those three things I told you. You getting your heart broken over this isnt fare. She look out for yourself this time. But just follow your heart. I hope this helped.

How true is that statement: "Girls want things they can't have." Funny enough, it might explain why girls always end up dating the same group of guys over and over again instead of looking for a new guy that they don't know that might be a better match for them. LOL

But a relationship is a balance of give and take. You should put into it as much as she puts into it. Nobody should feel like they're doing more than the other. Hate to say it but the guy's right. Girls at that age tend to be drama.

i kind of agree that shes walking all over me, and i did go wrong by not standing my ground i had it all down in the first year or so but some how she tore me down mentally without me knowing it. and i have showed emotions around her which probably makes her feel powerfull. its hard to avoid her when she still lives in my mothers house because if it wasnt for us she would be homeless, i guess i just need to avoid her but in a friendly way and dont let her see me hurt, dont do the things she wants me to do that i would do as a boyfriend but not a friend. A care about this person deeply and it hurts to go through this its almost like a death in the family without all the mutual support. looking at old pictures doesnt help, maybe ill post some if i get the chance but im off to see the wizard ill be back some day

Well with the pictures you need to put them where you wont have the tendacy to look at them. When you look at them it only brings you back to the state of mind of when you were with her. Imagine one day you will be able to pull out those pictures and just smile. You will be laughing about the time when you were so sad. It will happen. Just give it time. Sorry to say you did all you can do for right now. Like the guy said put into what she is. And she is putting anything into it so time to put your effort elsewhere. It hard I know but I know one day you will look back and this and laugh. Hard to imagine now but it will happen. You will meet someone new that will give exactly what you give and the thought of this will gone. Stay strong and confident.
DMC

"a foot rub isnt that big of a deal.." ~~honey IT IS! wake up! it seems that you love her so much that you're simply forgetting on loving yourself. since she's asking for a time alone, then give her a time alone and keep yourself busy. I'm not saying that you better give up on her easily just give yourselves time to think if the relationship you guys have are worth keeping. life is full of surprises and love is always that mysterious..
remember, if a girl can't accept you at your worst...they can never have you at your best..
to be honest, you're extremely nice and sweet every woman would fall for you or simply love you more..i'd say if your girlfriend choose not to give it a second shot..she's missing an incredible man. cheers!

Yes, the less you see things that remind you of them, the easier it is like photos, certain songs... otherwise, she'll be on your mind forever. The reason why we hurt is cause we keep thinking about the good memories and happiness.

ive just never had to deal with anything like this. i dont know what to do. im scared im sad im mad all that. i dont know whats going on, i was with her so long that it just seems fake to me right now. i still feel like shes gonna come home from work or school and give me a huge hug and a kiss. or im gonna wake up in the morning with her arm around me, i know it wont happen but it just seems like a dream at this time. Ive never cared for a single person soo much...


I personally think a little foot massage is'nt that big of a deal until theres some type of feeling going on. but if her feet hurt and someone offers a foot massage that seems pretty innocent. But she told me she thought he was attractive, which made me jealous, im sure a female doesnt want a jealous person or a needy person or someone whos always there by her side(physically). you need your space so you can miss this person ive tried to tell her but shes made up her mind. and nothing can change that. its a tough experience. i just want to find a female friend to be close to but it'll probably hurt more.. it hurst to think about her being with someone else now. plus she gets hit on everyday so if she wanted to find someone she could do it simply. i dont get hit on ever. proably because im the male and i should be making the advances... i dont want to see her with someone else or even hear about her with someone else not even think about it. because ima look at that and be like i had that one day... and i fucked up now its gone.. i feel like i got all kinds of information outa this experience and im soaking it up so i can right the wrong and make my life better. im lucky to have friends that really care how i feel and what im going through..

when i started dating her she had broken up with her boyfriend of like 2 months a month or 2 before and hes a good friend of mine. we met her at the same time but im not the type to sweat a girl like that the first day i meet them, anyway he broke up with her on her birthday.. i started hanging out with her. and i asked my friend do you mind if i have a relationship with her and he said he didnt mind, so we started dating June 1st 2007 and well now we broke up. but i dont know i feel like they're going to do somethin together.. she said she wouldnt.. plus i know he did her wrong by breakin up with her over something dumb on her birthday.. Now if i were to break up with her i wouldnt mind them being together which is probably why he didnt mind me but it didnt happen like that so i would be pretty angry if they were to be together or even do something. plus after i was with her for like 6 or 7 month he was like "she looks way better now man you cleaned her up, good shit"

anyway im just babbling.. keeping my mind occupied
everytime i come on here and read what everyone has to say and type something i get a sense of comfort or something i appreciate everyone giving me their input

yea man its definetly a tough situation..my gf of over a yr broke up with me bout 2 months ago..she still always wanted to see me and talk on the phone all the time and this and that so i figured we would end up back together..everytime she called me to come over i was there in ten minutes did whatever she wanted even though we were apart..i gues that was a mistake..she just told my best friend last night that she never wants to be with me again..way to lead me on right..i guess ignore her the best you can..the more you talk to her the harder it is to truly let it go..good luck man

If you get jealous, that means you're not ready to be her friend yet. Sometimes, you can be friends with your exes or crushes, sometimes you can't. But it's possible because there was a girl I was so in love and I got jealous when she was with other guys all the time. But today, it doesn't feel like that anymore. I don't care who she's with. I think when your accepts that you are no longer with her, you can be friends.

I accept it, but then it goes away and it all seems fake then it hits me again and i go through it again and i accept it... kinda confusing.. im happy that we can still be friend but do i wanna be friends?? i do because this girl means a whole lot to me... but i dont because i feel like its a very un healthy situation, until i get over it...
i asked her what are you doing this friday. shes like i was gonna go with you and your friends to the bowling alley. im like......... ok if you want.
but i should tell her not to.. or tell her to bring her own friends

today she told me to suprise her and pick her up from work...
i dont know if i should.. i want to. because i know my city and we dont play out here and i worry about her..
but i dont want to because she needs to learn to not depend on me ALWAYS being there.... i dont know what i should do

Have you talked to her about this before? It seems you don't want to just be her friend. It sounds like she wants to be your friend and she doesn't realize you're still having all these feelings about her. To her, you're kind of like a BFF. You're close friends but platonic. It's not always possible but it can happen. I know guys who really are VERY CLOSE friends with girls they are totally platonic with. Some guys can't do it because attraction always gets in the way.

stop being a bitch throw your swagger on and go get some fine girl up on you trust e her jealousy will take over and she ll be dying for you to come back dude . i know its a dick move but it works every woman wants what another already has.

you sound like a good girl i wish i had a girl like you =) keep your head up

hello how are you doing?
am Emmanue and you

hi

my gf just told me that she want us to be friends and i really lobe this gurl and i wanna be her love not just friend and now i donn know what i do will i talk ot not talk to her and if i didiny yalk yo het is that gonna make us awat ... i really need help and i want her back.... some body answer me plezzzzzzzzzzzz

How long were you two together?

4 month but i really love her we live in deffrent citys but i will move sooon we c each other monthely

some body juss help me pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez i want an answer pleeeeez

You could try preparing a date for the next time that you see her, which would be next month, right? Then you will see if she has changed her mind.

ok i will c her tomorow.. she called me and she told me that she and her mom waiting 4 us me and my ses and she acting nice juss coz we comin from anther city and my ses wiz me she trying to act like nothin betweeen us like we r juss freinds and i donn know what should i say or behave or do tomrow will i take about the brock up or do what ??? plz answer

No, don't talk about it. Try to make it a nice experience by letting it happen naturally.

i went to her and we talked so normaly then she prought it up and she said that she wants to be jus friends i said ok but from insed i donn want that .. she told me that she donn want me to say ok about everythings she say she want me to say no and stand up and say stop to her .... anyway we talked and in the end i kissed her on the head and she smiled when i opend her cell phon i saw my phon nuber name on her cell she savin it as baby .. donn know she called me after i left to c how things going and she called me baby and she said that she was happy that i came .. i said ok then i came back home and i said that i will not call her untill she call me and i waited and she called .... i really donn know what i have to do or what she want i really love thise gurl and iam so confused and i donn know what i have to do ?? if she loves me or what ?? would u answer

She's still deciding on what to do with the relationship. It's up to you if you want to wait. She seems to be in between being in a relationship and not.

what i have 2 do if she asked me if i agree about being jus frinds... and do i have 2 act like b4 and call her and talk 2 her or what

That is your decision. You don't have to do anything.

If a girl did that for me id be the happest dude on the planet he was lucky to have u but ddnt derisive u at all