im jealous and i dont know what to do.

i had a dream about my boyfriend hanging out with his friends and in this dream he is naked getting a message therapy with one of his friends. but this friend is someone we dont know very well, shes a girl. the problem of the dream was that she was naked and also getting the same message. they were just chilling. nothing perverted or incinuating anything. read this carefully before you answer. but in the dream i saw her and him laughing and i got jealous and pulled him out and scolded him in front of his friends. i embarrassed him in front of them. in my dream when we were finally alone he told me he didnt feel the same about me anymore. im actually always jealous that he would even be hanging out about any other girl than me. though he didnt really cheat, well he did. he told me he just held another girls hand and hung out with her. nothing further than that. he is direct and doesnt like bullshit. half of the time i think about this but i dont want to tell him cause itll drive him away. i guess it also has to do with the fact that his family is moving away. he and i are trying to find a job to stay togther.

I hate these kinda dreams, make you go nuts huh?

Well, rest assured because there is a saying in my culture "dreams are only devil's play". It doesn't necessarily have to mean something. Instead of saying how jealous are you, try to talk it out on how to control it. He may have something to say that might allow you to actually control it. Don't ever jump to conclusions, you'll do that and you will be blinded by emotions of anger and such, and will also probably make decisions you later regret.

Communication is the key.

yeah they do.
i dreamed last night that we got in a fight and split up. and he was acting weird because of his friends. by the way i dont like them because all they want is to hit it and quit it. im scared my boyfriend might develop their habits? i dont know how to tell him cause hell probably think im just being paranoid.

Wait, everything you are telling me now are only in your dreams right?
"and he was acting weird because of his friends."

These are all not real are they?
Well not liking your bf's friend could be a problem, trust me when I say this, a guy, ok let me change it, everyone,do not like to choose between their lover and their friends. It is such an unfair choice to begin with.

it it thats why im keeping quit but i wish his friends werent such players.

Haha..it all depends on your bf actually. If it makes you feel any better, I have tons and I mean every word, tons of guy friends who you can call players. Those who have a steady gf, but also flirt, date, text and even sleep (kinda like cheating) together. But I have never got influenced in any way. I loved my ex with all my heart then. (Well kinda recent)

Anyway my point is, being friends with a junkie doesn't make me join, being friends with a serial killer doesn't make me one too right?

i know. i know but i wish hed stop being so focused on problems and at least give me a tender look in the eyes. when hes streesed he just makes evrything soley about his problems and forgets about me. thats why im jealous. cant a girl get a litle attention around here? how do i say that without coming off as needy or paranoid? how do i do this?

also they want to invite him to reno. and they joke around like yep you know why we are going there. my boyfriend says only if i can come along .

Wow, sounds to me its kinda easy. Boys are similar nowadays. I was once like your bf, when I get stressed out on assignments and stuff. At first we regularly had stupid arguments about it, but later on, she started to show support. She was there for me when I'm having a hard time. She doesn't nag me or pick a fight as often as before. And that helped a lot because when shes there for me, automatically I notice her. And any problem that arises after that, she would be there, understand me and I really appreciated it.

When you're in it together for good or bad, he will notice you. And later on in life, whenever she is having a hard time, I don't demand for attention, Its all about give and take. Doesn't mean if he never did it, you wouldn't have to do it.

If you think what I just typed doesn't seem much of a help, the best thing to do is have a personal talk without letting anger/jealousy take over you. Be understanding and rational. Sometimes we (boys) are stupid. We need our significant others to point it out, THEN we'll know. Well you know how girls with the details, and boys are bad with details. ::

yeah i agree. you guys get too preoccupied with that. but your right he does notice me when i dont nag.

See? it could be annoying at first, but if your bf have any sense of appreciation, he will notice your support and hopefully do the same. Get involve in his problem, help him out. He will appreciate both your help and the fact you exist in his life!

Just remember try not to be the main problem.

ok.

you said how he tends to ignore you sometimes. All guys are like that, when they get stressed out or anything like that they just want to be left alone so that they can figure everything out. Guys are completely opposite to girls when it comes to relieving their stress. Girls like to tell someone everything about whats making them stressed. Guys on the other hand deal with things on their own. But if they do want to tell you something they will usualy tell you or hint at it. And when they do this you need to listen because it's obviously bothering them and it is to much for them to handle.

i understand that now .
im getting use to it and i feel proud that we are learning how to tackle this. thanks alot for your help guys.

Well good for you. Have fun solving problems together!

All the best.

thank you. i hope it all solves itself and i wont be such a paranoid chick. .

well we are having a hard time and i think its gone from bad to worse. hes so focused on the negative and he even got angry at me cause i got a temporary job before he did. or maybe its the fact that he has a ticket for metro fair evasion, hes trying to find a job because his family is moving away (two months left or one), he lost his wallet with his id and social. he thinks about the apartment rent and living with another person-me- and how much its going to cost. i think i made it worse cause i was happy and he was having a bad day. also i dont know how to make him feel better. without having to use sex ok!

p.s.
im okay from my side but he has so much to carry on his sholders........ idk what to do anymore without looking like a jackass. i refrained from giving him pleasure when hes stressed. i dont want to feel like hes using me. so he has to learn how to cope with his problems in a different way. he cant be moody with me and want me to please him in bed it just doesnt work that way. you know what i mean? please give me advice before i fall into a deeper trap. like we women usually tend to get ourselves into. how do i reverse negative effects and feelings? or maybe reduce?

You two are considering moving together, so having a job is supposed to be good for both of you. If he's going to be angry about good news, imagine how he would take bad news.

As for "want me to please him in bed": Are you saying that he isn't already using you? It's like he won't let you have something good happen without making you feel bad about it.

i dont know whats up with him lately. hes been like this since he found out his family is moving. he forgot that we are both in this together.

Are you both really? Sounds more like you want to work on being together while he has own things he's thinking about.

i dont know where else to turn. im so happy but scared and at the same time confused. he was working to be with me he probably changed his mind. i think its over dont you? im so scared.

Try to not rush things. Learn the ropes of your job in the meantime. It's not over unless someone says it is.

but i havent seen him in a day and this is going to make it two. he doesnt im as much.

What about waiting a week or two for him to contact you? That way you'll know if he's busy or if he doesn't want to talk.

ok i see. maybe im overreacting a bit. yeah i guess so ill also have to refrain from seeing him so much. i dont know if hell miss me but it might give him something to think about or at lest realize that we need to work together. only the time will tell.

if there are other people who can give me solid advice id appreciate it.

Tell him how you feel.Hold his hand and look him in the eye and say Do you love me? if he says yes say:You wont leave me for other girls will you? Hope this helps!

ive had similar dreams about my ex cheating. i was told that dreams are your subconscious trying to tell you that u r not understanding something that is taking place in reality so u have awful or nice dreams to make u aware of what is really going on. think about how u once u woke up. were u scared? if yes then in reality their is something freightening u that u r not paying attention to...hope this helps

husband has a childhood friend. she lives far from where we live, closer to ragging waters. but I've been dreaming about her almost every night. i keep dreaming that he still loves her or that his feelings for her are more than friendly. i get jealous that he talks about the time they walked to school together or when they walked around at night. am i missing something? why did he marry me? sometimes i just want to leave him so he can go to her or tell me the truth. I've been having or I've been meaning to ask him if there was anything between them? a crush? a secret love? of course he knew her before me, but he never told me if there was ever something between them. now I'm confused and I'm afraid ill say or do something stupid. how do i tell him without getting him defensive or regretting meeting me? does he still care about her? did he ever or does he still love her? i cant compete with that I'm a shadow under her.