to link 16 . i hear you i do. But its not a game, and I don't think that its as calculated as them sitting there thinking, haha yea! I made this girl fall for me, so now im going to leave her, I won!! There are men like this, really messed up I might add. but id like to believe that generally they would never do this to someone they actually thought was worth it, its hard to hear this. and its not anybodys fault, its natural lemme explain. In a relationship esp for women, you're so afraid of losing this guy, you go futher then what you should for this guy. You might not be bending completely backwards for this guy, but by you being overly sentimental and compromising with him all the time, is actually not very exciting, cause it seems like you're afraid to lose him, so you're doing everything you can-- like you said predictable. And a woman is most likely always the one trying to make the realtionship work, so shes blind to these compromises, but the guy can see it. Because a man thinks more logically versus women emotionally. A guy will think this relationship isnt working for so and so reasons, stop it now-- this is him disappearing. a girl will think well this is wrong and this isnt how id like it to be, but tell herself im willing to overlook it, because i love, like him. <--- this right here is the culprit time and time again. now you can reverse the man and women, but its still the same. i think a healthy relationship is one where both are compromising equally and happily bc they know they've got a great thing going. A relationship where no one's afraid to speak up if somethings bothering them.
this was therapeutic for me to write as a relationship just ended for me( my first ever realtiosnhip!), for reasons close to the one I described. but atlas things arent always that simple. and i choose to see relationships as way of bettering yourself, like how can I improve myself so that this doesnt happen again.
I believe it goes back to having a healthy self concept and an unbreakable esteem that makes it possible for you to stay true to yourself always