its been 1 year still haven't got over my ex

Its been a year since I broke up with my ex. I haven't seen or talked to her but I still think about her cause I have nobody else. I have been single since the break up. what has my life turn into it seems like a depression stage. Why can't I just get over that break up it been a year. I thought time heals pain. I don't wanna see her but do you think she thinks about me? I was her first love and before the break up we was together for three years.I just want to know what do you guys think?

Do you guys have any advice for this one?

i gues you can say im in a similar situation..my ex was my first serious relationship..i loved her..she broke up with me about 4 or 5 months ago and still havent got it over it mainly because i have no new girl to turn too..I was in a heavy depression mode were i was turning into an alcoholic and not wanting to live and all that type of stuff..You just gota stay strong man..i got a new job now making decent money things are looking somewhat up. Still havent met a new girl but im hoping i will in the near future.I dunno why you guys broke up but my advice would be if you feel like its done for sure dont talk to her at all cause itll just bring out old feelings you had and make it harder to compltly let her go.

Yeah its nothing there anymore I haven't seen or talked to her in a year. Im in college right now just feeling very lonely. I to was in that depression stage but I think I've gotten better. My ex got a another boyfriend. I was upset at that im just getting over it. Im just tired of this people say its a life learning process. What am I suppose to learn not to fall in love again?

who knows..lifes a funny thing..im a strong believer in god so i try to keep in mind that things will work themselves out but im not going to lie its hard to do.There was nothing left between me and my x either and she texted me and i told her straight up that i couldnt talk to her and we cant have communication..we havent talked since and i feel somewhat better..it took me a long time to get over because when we first broke up we still chilled everyday and she stilled kised me told me she loved me all that.so i was pretty sure we were gonna get back together but out of nowehere she told me she didnt have the same feelings for me anymore. Part of me wants to tell you to just keep looking for a new girl whos better for you but part of me wants to tell you girls cant be trusted and dont fall in love..im confused myself sometimes so i dont know myself

Yeah our situations are somewhat similiar. Your right girls can't be trusted. I can't blame it all on the girls I've done my dirt to but I was young I've changed from then. I decided to just chill and focus on school. I to believe in god and sometimes things will work itself out but I just don't see this working out for anything. So do you believe that time heals pain?

Hi guys

Sorry to hear you are having trouble healing, perhaps now is the time to start?
I have had a upsetting break up lately but you know what I am already feeling better. This is not reflection on the relationship or the person involved I loved her and still do, I know she loved me and I treasue what was not what still may be because she has changed as a person and (possibly) moved on.
Either way she does not need me in her life in this capacity and you know what I wish her nothing but the best I sincerely hope she finds happiness.
For sure I still hanker for it and I would like this girl and to settle down but I have concluded to myself it is not to be and accepting that has already got me going.
I suggest hobbies, new interests and possibly studying something, these will give you esteem, good feeling success and self worth, for instance studying is a grind but...your self esteem flys suddenly you feel intellligent and it makes you more interesting.
Sport is a great release or adrenaline sports, gliding, skiing something to make you feel alive!
Why wallow you have such limited time on the planet get out there and enjoy life look forward to new challenges not back to past ones that didn't work, we all been there just take another option and different focus.

Probably heard it all before but all the best.

madspiders, that's an EXCELLENT idea. That's a great way to recovery. I think this is why I've ended up with so many hobbies and interests now.

'madspiders, that's an EXCELLENT idea. That's a great way to recovery. I think this is why I've ended up with so many hobbies and interests now. '

HAHAHA made me smile because I have built up so many things I now enjoy doing over a period of years, I wonder if I am ever seriously going to be able to accomodate a relationship properly in between my interests!!!

What do you mean by that how do you spend your bare time to forget about the past. What tactics do you have?

Well this week for instance I haven't had the capacity to study for example, and I haven't been looking after myself as well as usual I admit.
So I am physically a bit tired but that is changing this week, I shall eat correctly and go to the gym next week.
But, for instance this week I indulged myself watching the entire DVD series of 'band of brothers' it's sad, entertaining and made me realise that I was lucky not to have been stuck in a hole in the ground being shelled and shot at in sub zero temperatures! ie; there is always someone worse of than yourself!
Interestingly there is a scene, one of the paratroopers recieves a telegram from home, it's his GF she tells him it's over.
Now this is a guy who was risking his life daily making perhaps the ultimate sacrifice fighting tyranny and opression and his GF still didn't think it was enough
Hell if it can happen to him it can happen to anyone!

Last night I watched a film until late, today I got up late and played a few holes of golf late afternoon on my own, no mates just on my own, very theraputic.
It's tough I think about it all the time, but there comes a time when you think I am fed up thinking about it I want more from this, forget this person I don't need it, when you get to this stage your on your way.
You will still have downers but you will start doing things and getting out watching a film for example and realise for 15 mins you did not think about her, if you can go 15 why not 30 - 45 etc etc...
I will always think of her, I actuallly feel we could well be friends but not yet no way not for a while.

See how you go, what do you enjoy? Music play music but I recomend doing something a new hobby or pastime you can really pour energy into.

Wow ok I could do that yeah I like music. Im a person who play a lot of basketball. I do that a lot but im bout to explore new things like you said I think I could make it to your stage where I could go 15 min without thinking about her thanks. How long did it take you to get to this stage?

thats true..just stay busy..and u got to convinve yourself your better off without her cuz you are..unfortunatley i think shell always be in the back of your head but anytime she pops into your brain jus laugh to yourself and tell yourself she wasnt really anything special and you dont need her..try thinkning about her negative qualities instead of her positive one n use those as good justification why your better off without her.

That's exactly what I try to do thanks maybe she isn't right for me. If it was meant to be then it will be right? Things just never turn out how I want them to that's all this is just my rock bottom stage. Everybody falls I just have to get back up quick.

'I think I could make it to your stage where I could go 15 min without thinking about her thanks. How long did it take you to get to this stage?'

I think it takes differnet times for everyone, I think everyone is dfferent?
Either way it does,'t matter, what does matter is you start to plan new things for you to do to ensure that you are thnking about thse things rather than your ex, after a time if you pack enough into your life you will start to realise how much less you are thnking about her and that after all that..you might begin to think that you don't really need her.
Then you have cracked it, but it's all part of living for you and being what you are rather than what someone else wants you to be.

So you don't think 1 year is a long enough time for you to forget about the past an move on? Im working on that tactic now to keep my mind occupied to forget about my past relationships. And when I think about my ex I let myself know that I was weak to even let a girl break my heart like that. That's when the real pain approaches. But I am doing your strategy to keep me focus while im at college. Its very hard to stay focus when things pop in your like the past

The only way to find out whether your ex is truly over you is to court her again. Ask her for date as if you have just met. If she does not want a date suggest a friendly get together over a cup of coffee...

This will give you time to communicate properly and openly about whether you wish to get together again or just remain friends. When you know exactly where you stand you can make the decision to get on with your life.

best of luck.

Richard

I haven't seen her in a year she has moved on she has another boyfriend. That's why I went to a different college because I didn't wanna be close to her. I thought this would be a good start to start over with my life with out her. I knew it would be hard but not this hard

But you also have to remember and this is the most common mistake for people... just because you still have feelings for them doesn't mean you 2 should be together... especially if that person is abusive and full of negative energy.

your so right about that one. i know we aren't going to be together in the long run i wouldn't even try to force the issue. it's like my heart and my brain function different. in my mind it trying to tell me to get over the situation but my heart is still wounded and is not ready to get over anything. i have changed a lot of tactics lately. I have been reading the bible more. Im starting to work out to see where this leads me to. trust me i know life isn't easy Im learning knew things about myself everyday. all i can hope for is that tomorrow will be a better day. that all i want is to be happy like everybody else.

very good. remember there are others who share your feelings. you are never really alone in this.

yea not at all alone..remember women been screwing over men since adam and eve lol but on the real im glad u doin better..its refrshin to hear some1 with the sammmmmme exact situation i had been able to deal with it cuz even tho i dont know you personally it does help me out 2. So just stay focused on everything BUT her and that right girl will pop up..but when the next girl does come dont be quick to give your heart cause it seems like the 1st girl u start to talk to and like and all that after ur ex is usually one you tend to get attached to quickly because your tryn to replace what you just had..just dont let it happen again brotha

thanks but i dont think im ready to fall in love again cuz i know the situation i was in when she left me. i cant go through another one those. i think i better just chill and relax. cuz just because im feeling a little better i dont want to ever love again.

When you're not ready, you're not ready. There's more to life than just finding the love of your life. I think most of us watch so many movies of people being so happy in love when in reality, most of my friends in relationships just fight 24/7.. new fight every week lol so it's more a mirage than anything. You rather find someone you are really compatible with when you do get in a relationship. We are supposed to be better off with someone else, not worse.

vegetia1988 wrote:

Its been a year since I broke up with my ex. I haven't seen or talked to her but I still think about her cause I have nobody else. I have been single since the break up. what has my life turn into it seems like a depression stage. Why can't I just get over that break up it been a year. I thought time heals pain. I don't wanna see her but do you think she thinks about me? I was her first love and before the break up we was together for three years.I just want to know what do you guys think?

Hang in there man, you're not alone in this area, believe me. Been broken up w/my ex GF for almost 6 years now, and last week, I heard "our song"(or so it was supposed to be), on the radio, and I immediately thought of her, and can't seem to get her out of my head. I have been single since the breakup, and as i said, i still think of her.

I'm told, she's married and has a kid, which is strange since she's told me so many times how she supposedly "loved me and wanted to be with me forever". Guess she couldn't wait? I have the strange feeling she'll be back in my life...somehow, someway down the road.

So, take some solace in knowing, you're not alone, and that there could very well be one day when you guys work it all out.

Wow I thought my was the longest brake up. But do you guys keep in touch since you guys broke up cause I haven't heard or seen my ex in 5 months. In the back of my mind I just wonder do she think about me like I think about her tho she has a boyfriend. You ever wondered that?

vegetia1988 wrote:

Wow I thought my was the longest brake up. But do you guys keep in touch since you guys broke up cause I haven't heard or seen my ex in 5 months. In the back of my mind I just wonder do she think about me like I think about her tho she has a boyfriend. You ever wondered that?

Nope, haven't heard from her in almost 6 yrs. Not for the lack of trying though, I've tried SEVERAL times to at least try to stay friends w/her, and it doesn't seem to work. She even told me a few times when we dated that she couldn't be friends w/me if we ever broke up. I dont know what that means(as Im always the "nice guy" in the relationship), but it doesn't sound too good I guess.

Strange too, because she's remained friends with all of her other ex's before me. I met one about a yr/yr and a half into our relationship, after hearing how bad he was to her, and her rambling on about how big of a "dick" he was to her, it simply amazed me when she was "all of a sudden" nice to him that day. She commented that she at least remained friends w/him.

Same with the guy she dated before me, she trashed him SEVERAL times, and then, when she ran into him @ my work one night, she was nice to him, and they became friends again.

With me though? not so much. I'm not sure if that means she still has feelings for me, despite her being w/a new guy and having a kid w/him? but, like i said, I've tried several times over the past 6 yrs to at least try to remain friends with her, and it appears she doesn't want it.

Again, i think she still likes me(has feelings for me), but doesn't want to admit it. Weird.....

I know exactly how you feel I was the nice guy to. I think girls just take advantage of the nice guys cause they figure they can get away with it. It sucks tho because I hate feeling like this hurt because I miss her knowing she is with somebody else and not even thinking of me we was each others first love and its goin to be a while before I can get her all out of my head

vegetia1988 wrote:

I know exactly how you feel I was the nice guy to. I think girls just take advantage of the nice guys cause they figure they can get away with it. It sucks tho because I hate feeling like this hurt because I miss her knowing she is with somebody else and not even thinking of me we was each others first love and its goin to be a while before I can get her all out of myhead

Thats exactly how I feel too. I swear the radio station played that song for a reason(lol).

What do you make though of her not even wanting to be friends w/me, despite her being friends w/all of her other ex's?

Is that weird, even though she's now married and has a kid from someone else?

I don't wish bad things on her, but she is a manic Depressive, and I doubt she can take something like a divorce(if that happens) lightly.

i dont know it sounds pretty weird to me. i just dont understand females thats why i thought i could get all my questions answered from you