Lessons learned and Questions

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5 years ago #1
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Well, this is my first post here and I really want to express how wonderful I think it is that sites like this exist.
I did not come here to express grief, as I am already tired of that he,he. Instead I came here to share my experience, hoping that somebody might benefit from the lessons I had to learn the hard way about relationships and breaking up. I'll try to summarize the story so I don't bore you with details. I do hope that if anyone has lived a similar situation he/she could share with me (and the rest of us) the outcome.

When I met my ex girlfriend she was in a long distance relation with some guy she didn't even love anymore, but someone who she had a relationship with for the last couple of years. From the moment I met her I just knew she was my soulmate. You know when you meet somebody and inmediately you just know? well, that.
Her situation made her feel sad and desperate. She wanted to marry this guy for other reasons, but really feared how that would turn out for her (marrying somebody you don't love). I tried not to be jugdemental at the time and hope all of you reading this are not judgemental towards her either. You know, people do weird stuff if they are in certain situations. Nobody escapes bad decisions in life once in a while.
So, we really hit it off inmediately and started going out. We dated for a year and had the time of our lives. I had just gotten my divorce and marriage was the last think on my mind at the time, and I let her know that. Still I'm not afraid to say we were really happy together, or at least I was and she certainly said so and seemed to be.
Long story short (sort of), time came when her long distance boyfriend proposed her to marry him. She came to me and in a very honest and straight way she told me she had to accept, and could not refuse. She would not have any arguing about it and I was not about to argue about it either. I really believe people should be let free to make their own choices. Pushing and forcing things never results in anything good for anyone.
So we broke up inmediately.
As I stated before she is the love of my life. The following weeks were very hard. I did cry a lot. We talked a lot over the phone and even met several times, and we cried together a lot, too. She kept promising she would get back to me as soon as she could and when she got her things together, and I kept telling her not to do so. I told her I loved her deeply, but she had to be faithful to her chosen partner. I told her I never came back together with past partners, and she always said she could see I still loved her, which I never denied.
She left, she did not say good-bye directly. She's now married and from what I hear, she seems to be really happy.
I really wish she is happy. I guess true love means you wish your loved one to be happy no matter what, and even if you are not. But it really hurts like hell that she broke all contact with me. She deleted me from MSN, Facebook, etc. A few months after she left it was her birthday and I sent her an email which she didn't reply. My birthday came and she didn't even returned the favor.
I know I will never stop loving her, and I carry her in my heart and mind at every moment. I learned to pray for the first time in my life, just to pray for her happiness. Today it is the first aniversary of the last time we met, and I can't help the urgent need to express myself. I refuse to talk about this with friends or family because I don't want them to know how much I'm still hurting.
But I am curious. Has anybody out there lived through a similar situation? And if so, how did it turn out for you? did she/he ever get in touch again?

Love to you all

Posted on Breaking up

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