Long time on/off relationship is back to off. I want it back on!

oh boy.

so i will make this as easy as i can. It's a little complicated though. I have been with this girl for years. I have known her for about six years and we have dated on and off the entire time. When we first met, we tried dating but I ended up leaving town due to an alcohol problem so I could clean up. I did. But i lost touch with her for about a year. Found her again and we started dating again. This lasted for about a year and a half until I left town again to move to another state.
Our relationship was strained the entire time. Communication was really bad between us. I would try but she would get frightened of the talking and sort of shut down. This eventually drove me nuts and I would break up with her. We had many mini break-ups but a few major ones. All for the same reason. I broke it off because we kept hitting a wall with each other and there seemed like no way around it. I felt like I was doing all the "work" as far as trying to communicate, while she was just avoiding everything.
So when I moved away, I broke things off because we were doing so bad, I couldn't see us making it together.
Skip ahead to about a year after I moved and she looked me up again. I dodged her for a few months but relented and started to talk to her. Things started to spark between us again and we flirted for a few months before I told her how I felt about her. I loved her. She withdrew and said she didn't want that and it crushed me. I chased her for six months or so, long distance, and we started to work things out but it all got messed up again. A few months later we tried again and we had been dating for about eight months again.
Well our communication devil started to creep back in and I decided to not be the one to always bring up issues, hoping she might. Wrong. We basically talked less and less until it was only text messages. When I would see her, we barely talked in person. I would get moody cause I felt so frustrated and she just shut down. It boiled down to her asking about coming to visit and I said yeah that would be good, but I felt like things were distant between us and wondered what she thought about that. She agreed and said she was confused about the relationship. I agreed and said we should talk about it so we can do something about it. (this was all in text btw). As soon as I asked to talk, she stopped responding. I decided I would not chase after her to talk and just let her come when she was ready. We made a plan to talk and she ended up saying she was busy and kept pushing it off. This happened for a few days and eventually she just stopped all communication. After a week of nothing, I sent her an e-mail telling her I couldn't do this relationship anymore.
I spent the next month not eating, lost 15lbs, crying, idolizing her, wanting so badly to be with her, to just talk to her, anything.
We have had very little contact in the last two months. She left things slightly ambiguous. I asked about coming back together and wishing we could talk. She said she wanted time and space. I'm miserable without her. I know the relationship sounds shitty, but I believe in her and I. I love her. I don't know what to do. I Can't think of anything to say or even how to approach her. It would crush me to hear her say she just wanted to be friends. So I just avoid it.
I am hoping she will change her mind and talk to me. I am not interested in other girls. I even have dates lined up. But I just want to work things out with her instead.
Just looking for outside thoughts. Anything would help.
thanks.

Well being in the same sort of situation, all I can really tell you is to try to give her the space/time she needs. You've made it clear how you felt about her (and if you don't feel you have, write her a letter and then decide later if you want to give it to her or not).

I would give her time to miss you. If you hung out alot then she will probably feel a very blank void in her life. You can't miss someone if their talking to you every now and again.
And if you think about it .. a month/2 months.. really isn't that long in the grand scheme of things.

She needs to realize for herself this is what she wants.
Maybe wait for about 4 months, and then get in touch with her, but make sure your ready for the possible "just friends" talk.

One thing I always think about when I want to call my ex, is "Do I really want to go through any more pain then I am already in?"
Because like you.. I'm not sleeping/eating/doing much of anything really. But I called him once just to hear his voice really and he shut me down and was pretty cold with me.
It was a bad idea, and it put me right back to the beginning, and hearing his voice sounding like he pitied me, made me feel worse and more pathetic.

So really, all I can suggest is better yourself and focus on you right now. Think about this - if she were to come back today, would she like who you are right now? Sitting at home, in your pjs, unshaven probably and losing tons of weight? Probably not.
So while it will take time to get yourself back, you have to think that you may run into her one day and she needs to see what she is missing.
So start eating, maybe go to the gym, buy some new clothes.. and just keep in mind you will probably talk again, and when you do, you will look great and be confident.
No-one wants a mopey, depressing guy..

even though its REALLY hard to get out of bed sometimes (I know) and its hard to eat because you can't stop thinking and it makes you feel sick wondering what their doing.. you need to do it.
For me, when I can't eat at all I make a smoothie and walk around that way your getting some nutrients in you. Or turn the tv on while you eat to something stupid (reality shows work for me because theres usually no lovey-dovey crap) that way you don't even think about eating.

Relationships ending really suck. But you broke up with her because the up and down of it was unfair to both of you. That was a good decision (i did the same) and really we look like the better people for it.

Give it some time now. One day at a time.

What I did was highlight days on my calender that I was excited for (new video game coming out.. going back to school, etc) and keep telling myself that i won't talk to them to this point, and just keep making new points and have things to look forward too. It also makes you realize how fast time is passing even though an hour feels like 3 months.

Keep your head up. Whatever will be, will be.
She is probably missing you JUST as much right now, if not more. So take some comfort in that. There is two people in a relationship, so both people (normally) should be upset about the situation.

Another thing I do is tell myself that their gone on a vacation, or that they have a split personality and right now the other persons out but eventually they'll realize what went on and hopefully try to fix it.

Really its just about getting through a day at a time. It's hard, somedays harder then others. But life goes on, and you need to take care of yourself!