Lost the love of my life, how do i get her back?

So here is the story, Me and me ex were friends all through out high school. I always had a crush on her. At the beginning of our junior year we began dating, and dated for 2 years with a few breaks here and there. My ex was moving out for college with some friends, just 30 mins away, and i was staying home. I didnt agree with out decision. So we argued and fought alot the last couple months. She broke up with me, and we got back together for another 3 months. Then she told me she was done with me for good. We didnt talk for a week. Then we began talking and i took her to the zoo and out to eat and such the next week. The week after that I begged her to be with me and i pushed her away for about 2 weeks. Finally she had enough and I had enough.She took all of the things i have given her with her and still still wears my promise ring. I didnt contact her for 3 weeks, After 3 weeks she contacted me and we began talking occasionally. During the breakup i continued to visit her family as we get along very well. During the break up i turned to her dad for advice, because he really liked me. We began talking and last weekend she sprang her ankle, I went to visit her while she was home. I stayed late as we filled each other in on our lives. She mentioned a boy that she liked, and i said that was cool and she talked about him. The next day she texted me and asked me if i could try and get ahold of her parents. So I did, then i offered to take her to the store,she asked me if i want to share some candy with her, and called me by my old nickname. We went and laughed and had a great time and she called me that night. Any advice on what to do? Or what not to do to get her to want to be with me again?

Nick08 welcome to the forum

I think it might perhaps be a good idea to be a little less 'available' to her for a little while so she knows what she's missing? Not too much time, just some. Hopefully she will then realize that if you're both not together she might lose you (even if that's not the case). What do you think of this idea?

I think that might be a good idea, Ill give it a try. I just want to get that reconnection, so she doesn't date this other guy. I dont know, but maybe it would be a good idea if she did date him, then she might realize what she gave up with me.

If she wants to date that other guy nothing will help anyway, so I think this could be giving her a wake-up call.

Update... So we have kept in contact since, it has been about a week, then she asked me to go to the mall with her, her parents and her friend, so i met them at the mall. But her friend was there, and her parents left when i got there.Then my ex said i was stuck with her and had to take her home and smiled. We had fun, and ended the night with her hugging me and saying we would have to do it again sometime soon. Later that night her dad told me that she was telling him how she was thinking about dating me again and realized how nice i am. I texted her the next day and she was busy, didnt here from her the next day, so i texted her again, and she was busy. So the next day i texted her to see if she wanted to get some coffee before church and she said she would call me if she wanted too, but she ended up not calling me. I dont understand what she is thinking or what i should do?

Nothing. And next time she invites you, you should refuse and say you are busy. That's what I think you should do....

Being a female I can tell you it sounds like because you guys were friends first you have now become security to her. She does care about you but she doesn't want you as a boyfriend anymore. She's not available to you because she's busy with her own life and the only time she looks to you is when the other guy is not available. As said before you need to make yourself unavailable to her. She doesn't mean to hurt you but she's using you in a sense. Maybe not to be mean but just because she does still like you just not as much as before. Don't be there for her so she can see what she's really missing. I tell you this from experience of what I've done with guys.

So if i am unavailable next time, then she will realize what she gave up or what? Because i am really trying to win her back.

Simply put, if you have any hope of getting her back it has to be her choice. The only way to 'make' her choose it legitimately is by making sure she understands what she has lost.

Everyone has that 'love of their life'. I've had two of them ;]

moving on will do two things for you in this situation:

A) She will realize she wants you back
You will realize that you don't want her back

You really can't lose, but you have to be willing to understand that time is an unfriendly asset to your renewal of who you are.

If you do hang out with her, I would avoid acting like her boyfriend. Act as a friend the way you did before you started dating.

Best of luck!

Nick08 wrote:

So here is the story, Me and me ex were friends all through out high school. I always had a crush on her. At the beginning of our junior year we began dating, and dated for 2 years with a few breaks here and there. My ex was moving out for college with some friends, just 30 mins away, and i was staying home. I didnt agree with out decision. So we argued and fought alot the last couple months. She broke up with me, and we got back together for another 3 months. Then she told me she was done with me for good. We didnt talk for a week. Then we began talking and i took her to the zoo and out to eat and such the next week. The week after that I begged her to be with me and i pushed her away for about 2 weeks. Finally she had enough and I had enough.She took all of the things i have given her with her and still still wears my promise ring. I didnt contact her for 3 weeks, After 3 weeks she contacted me and we began talking occasionally. During the breakup i continued to visit her family as we get along very well. During the break up i turned to her dad for advice, because he really liked me. We began talking and last weekend she sprang her ankle, I went to visit her while she was home. I stayed late as we filled each other in on our lives. She mentioned a boy that she liked, and i said that was cool and she talked about him. The next day she texted me and asked me if i could try and get ahold of her parents. So I did, then i offered to take her to the store,she asked me if i want to share some candy with her, and called me by my old nickname. We went and laughed and had a great time and she called me that night. Any advice on what to do? Or what not to do to get her to want to be with me again?

So my ex isnt seeing anyone, and we talked the other day for about 40mins, she told me that I was a super nice guy, but we just didnt get along, and i asked why she says that, and she told me we dont have enough in common, but in reality I can only think of a few things we dont have in common. How should i take this?

I think you should just "take it" Nick You don't have much choice anyway. It looks like she has made up her mind.

I thought this forum was suppose to be about getting your ex back? ALl anyone can say is to move one.

This forum is just to give advice about your certain situation. It's not particularly about getting someone back if it seems like someone has already made her mind.

Nick08 wrote:

I thought this forum was suppose to be about getting your ex back? ALl anyone can say is to move one.

Jewelman is right.

You may want to get your love back but when people reacting to what you write advise you differently that means they mean from their heart the best for you and that could mean not getting your love back.

I started the no contact, and my ex called me in a bout a month saying how she has been sorry for how busy she has been and that she wants to hang out, and how she misses me. She has been calling and texting me almost every day now and is talking about getting back together. I am playing it cool and hanging out with her when i have time. But what should i do? I dont want to ruin my last chance. Also she has a big speech coming up for a pageant and she is really nervous, I would really like to give her some good advice and make her feel more comfortable and confident about it. What should i say?

Do not push things on her! You don't want to make the same mistake twice. And I quote...

The week after that I begged her to be with me and i pushed her away for about 2 weeks. Finally she had enough and I had enough.

Therefore keep doing what your doing. Keep things light and make sure your having a good time when you see her. Act how you did when you guys were first seeing each other. Make her realize how awesome you are by showing it to her, not by telling her.

But the biggest point is - don't push for the relationship!