Me and my boyfriend have been having problems for the last couple months and its upsetting me.

Okay well there's 2 guys Genaro=My Bf, and Robert=My ex. Well i have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years me and my bf broke up once and i got with Robert..he was like one of my major boyfriends that i got to have psychical stuff with. I broke up with him and got back with genaro because i missed him alot. Ive never ever met genaro in person. But we have seen each other on webcam,talked on mic, talked on the phone,sent real mail to each other, we have even bought each other stuff. I mean my bf is the closest thing to perfect he never does anything wrong, he never screams at me. When he gets really angry he goes away from the computer or hangs up the phone and comes back minutes later to work things out. Hes always there and supports me. But lately i have been confused like thinking if i really love him and sometimes it gets me so close to leaving him but i stop myself by crying..Like i just start crying. Like sometimes i feel like i don't even have feelings anymore for anything. Like he works from 7am-9pm and when he leaves for work i hardly miss him. But when i go somewhere or he goes somewhere other then work i do miss him..That confuses me too. And last night he told me he couldn't take the pain anymore and that i've been hurting him too much with all my confusion. I then began to break into tears for like 30 minutes i was even in 'TeamSpeak' a program where you can talk to many people and i started to cry even with them listening to me and i didn't care i just cried. I mean he has done nothing to me wrong so why am i feeling like this? And today i went to school(im in 12th grade) and like i kept looking for him everywhere. And i was really happy when i saw him and asked me to hug him. I mean whenever i picture myself leaving my boyfriend i always picture myself coming back. But i don't want to do that leave him when ever i please and come back because i don't want to hurt him. What's wrong with me? Why am i feeling like this? Why am i feeling like i don't love him but when it comes close to breaking up i wanna die. Im so confused.


Help?

What was the reason for the breakup between you and Robert?

I missed genaro.

So wait, whom did you meet first? Your story is also confusing because you talk about "him" multiple times, but I don't know which him it always is.

I'll write it again and i met genaro first.

Okay well there's 2 guys Genaro=My Bf, and Robert=My ex. Well i have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years me and my bf broke up once and i got with Robert..robert was like one of my major boyfriends that i got to have psychical stuff with. I broke up with robert and got back with genaro because i missed genaro alot. Ive never ever met genaro in person. But we have seen each other on webcam,talked on mic, talked on the phone,sent real mail to each other, me and genaro have even bought each other stuff. I mean my bf is the closest thing to perfect genaro never does anything wrong, genaro never screams at me. When genaro gets really angry he goes away from the computer or hangs up the phone and comes back minutes later to work things out. Genaro is always there and supports me. But lately i have been confused like thinking if i really love genaro and sometimes it gets me so close to leaving him but i stop myself by crying..Like i just start crying. Like sometimes i feel like i don't even have feelings anymore for anything. Like genaro works from 7am-9pm and when he leaves for work i hardly miss him. But when i go somewhere or genaro goes somewhere other then work i do miss him..That confuses me too. And last night genaro told me he couldn't take the pain anymore and that i've been hurting him too much with all my confusion. I then began to break into tears for like 30 minutes i was even in 'TeamSpeak' a program where you can talk to many people and i started to cry even with them listening to me and i didn't care i just cried. I mean genaro has done nothing to me wrong so why am i feeling like this? And today i went to school(im in 12th grade) and like i kept looking for robert everywhere. And i was really happy when i saw robert and asked me to hug him. I mean whenever i picture myself leaving my boyfriend i always picture myself coming back. But i don't want to do that leave genaro when ever i please and come back because i don't want to hurt him. What's wrong with me? Why am i feeling like this? Why am i feeling like i don't love genaro but when it comes close to breaking up i wanna die. Im so confused.


Help?

Have you done anything with Robert that you haven't done with Genaro? Maybe you like them both but not actually feel committed either way.

I mean yeah i got too see robert touch him hug. I've never kissed nor had sex with him though. And i don't know what to do im so scared that i'm just going to leave genaro and i don't it scares me and makes me really upset of the thought of leaving genaro

you should pick one...may end up loosing both if you don't decide...do what you feel in your heart is right and don't regret it afterwards...

Robert won't always be there for you to go back to...even though you 'see' your self going back to...

its a hard decision but u have to pick one..u can't be in the middle ur just going to get hurt by both of them in the end...so pick one make the best of it...

I want genaro..but these crazy feelings drive me insane and i want to get rid of them i feel like its going to ruin mine and his relationship.Like when he comes around online i dont even feel that happy im just sad...I dont know if its because of the distance or what.

eventually u have to meet him...maybe its the distance..and with robert it may be purely just physical...if ur having doubts already what makes you so sure u wont have these thigns come again...u have to talk everything out...if genaro is close to you u should really talk to him and tell him how you feel and u should talk to robert and settle this otherwise ur going to be in the middle and continue to be hurt and confused

Yeah but thing is me and genaro talk it out so much but the feeling of my heart feeling like its being tight in a box is always there and i got use to thinking 'Maybe i dont love him anymore' so whenever i get that feeling i always think that. But like i said when im close to leaving genaro like right bout to say it i just break in tears. Like i don't want to have this feelings i just want to love him with everything i have without doubts and to always make him happy. But i want to get rid of these feelings but i cant. They're tearing me apart.

I don't know if this has anything to do with it but i have depression disorder and bipolar disorder.

I think that you may not actually want to commit to Genaro, but that you want someone to be reliably there for you. If you want to know how you feel about Genaro, try taking a break from him. I'm not talking about a breakup, but actually not having any contact with him for a month or two.

I don't think i can do that..Even just imagining it feels...heartbreaking.

well i'm in the same sitaution,, but i'm not torn between two guys ,, i'm torn between staying with him or leaving him, and everytime i try to leave him i start to cry and i go through the same emotions u went through ,even though sometimes i feel like i don't love him anymore, but i just can't imagine being without him .. it's so confusing

Reading your post has just driving NUTS! Why don't you just try getting a Grand Life and become Mature and quite wasting your precious time with all that. I honestly can not read anymore, you have driven me just NUTS!