My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me. I admit I...

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me. I admit I can be controlling and jealous at times and I am fully aware and been working on it. I always put him first though. A year ago we moved out and struggled financially the whole time. He's been at the same job since highschool and has some ambition to do better but hasnt happened yet. I felt alot of stress and responsibilty on my part. He began driking heavily to deal with the money issues and soon after I also began. The drinking lead to gambling and we both lost money that we should have paid the bills with. We were fighting more as a result of the driking and lost money. So this led to more drinking and gambling to recoup losses. I would go to the casino with him when I knew I shouldnt because it made him happy. I knew I enabled him, but just wanted us to be happy. Soon this took a huge toll on our relationship. We moved home. I decreased gambling and drinking by almost 90% because I hit rock bottom. He has since increased drinking and gambling by almost double. He told me he needed a break and during that time slept with a much older woman who is very low class. He has been hanging at the bar and avoiding all his bills. He has been going to the casino alone and gambling his whole paycheck. I am scared for him. He feels he does not have any addictions and that I caused all of this, but since leaving me he has gotten worse. I love him and want our old life back. He doesn't understand gambling and driking tore us apart. It took away everything. I am devasted will he ever get better? I am the only one who bugs him to change but he pushed me out of his life to hang with "enablers." HELP!

This seems to be a deadly combination; you and him. The drinking is definitely a major problem and the gambling makes it a lethal combination. Your ex obviously is mentally ill and may need treatment before it gets out of hand. You have to realize that you are obviously better off without him. I am not saying that it is not possible to get back the relationship that you both had. However, he has to be able to recognize that he needs help....ON HIS OWN! You can try to get him to a therapist, but if he is unwilling, leave it alone. You take care of yourself because substance use in relationships often lead to intimate partner violence.

I think the second Guest hit this right on the head!