my ex boyfriend broke up with me about 5 weeks ago. We we're...

my ex boyfriend broke up with me about 5 weeks ago. We we're together for 3 yrs and we have 2 baby boys. And I found out that he's talking about me behind my back saying I'm crazy, fat which I'm not and a b***h. WHen I go out and enjoy myself he keeps calling or texting me. and when I call him he tells me he doesn't want to talk to me. It's hard because he's mean... I moved on and started seeing this guy. me ex found out about it and whenever I'm around him he keeps saying your boyfriend, your boyfriend and I hate it. why is he calling me, talking about me behind my back, and calling me names which I'm not especially fat. he'strying to hurt me in everyway and I dont know wht hes doing this to me.

Well, focus on your boyfriend now instead of your ex.

Your ex is making it easier for you to move on.

He is channeling his feelings into rage. I am not neccessarily saying his feelings of wanting you back, either, since it sounds like it's his insecurities about himself that is causing him to lash out as he does.

Seems like he may think you belong to him like some property. I have seen this behavior before, and am guilty of it myself unfortunately.

Best option: Ignore it as best as possible. Don't get involved in the mud slinging and eventually he will get bored. Have a kind word for him for every mean word for you, and people will take noticed of that.

Yea and why is he saying mean things about me? I never say anytihng about him ever and I told him that and he doesn't believe a word I say. and If I say something that is right and he can't admit I'm right he'll get mad and its back to arguing again. I don't know what to do! It' hard because we have kids and I have to talk to him pretty much everyday for the boys and its hard. It's hard because he's mean and I tell him quit being mean omg you have issues and he gets even angrier. Should I just leave him alone and let him be? WHat could I do, I don't know!

It is his real self coming out. When he talks about you behind his back - he is verbally abusing you.

When you are around - he sugar coats it.

The reason he talks behind you back -
It's lack of respect for women in general.

How did he treat you before this???

When we we're together he was nice and tried his best to make me happy. but if he didn't get his way he would say mean things like b***h, C**t, and it hurted a lot. things got bad because his parents we're always in our business and that made it harder for me because I was alone. I still love him but I know he won't change he just wants to be angry all the time. SHould I just forget about him! if I do how would he feel after?

I have some experience in this. I was a verbally abusive boyfriend and made the same mistakes he has.

It's an ego and control thing. He also has issues with women in general. He thinks by putting you down, you will never find the strength to move away from him as you will always feel lower than him and him superior to you. It's a sick form of damage control on his end, that by putting you down, he is expressing his superiority and basically keeping you "in line." It's the same if it was physical.

I did it as a scare tactic, because I honestly believe she would leave me one day. By making her feel worthless, because I felt worthless, I knew I could control her and her feelings and basically keep her where I wanted to.

You need to get away from it. It does more harm than good. You are better than that. He needs to seek some counseling, because, with me, I had issues with rejection and comittment, and he may have something similar toiling underneath his exterior.

If he said mean things to you / about you while in the relationship - this is verbal abuse!

Get the verbally abusive relationship book by Patricia Evans.


Please get out now - you notice his patters which is very good. He is trying to beat you down and control you emotionally with his hurtful words - then manipulate you will his "Nice side".

The cycle of power and control will get worse. Trust me on this.

Next will come mental abuse, mind spinning head games, infidelity, oh the list goes on and on...

He may not be worth dumping right now.. I know you have feelings for him and it will be hard, But please try to get away from him.

I know he has a problem! but he won't tell me what it is. he kept talkin about his past about what his dad did that ruined the family and i know it hurts him but he shouldn't be mad at the world for that. He calls me fat even tho I'm not! like come on I'm no super model and I look great i think after having 2 kids. but no i guess i wasnt good enough for him. When we we're still together I wanted to go back to school and finish, but he didnt want me to. but your right I'll let him say whatever he wants, it doesnt reallyhurt me anyways because none of it is true.

I need to add to ilovebaseball's (balls teehee) post, because it explains it better than I did.

As I said, I am guilty of this very thing. Looking back, all I did was damage the person I was with to the point that she would look in the mirror and cry because she couldnt believe anyone loved her. When I tried to convince her I was different and that she was loved, that WAS the problem, she could not differentiate love from how I was treating her. Love to her was her getting berated and verbally abused.