My ex boyfriend ended things in 2006. It was one of the hard...

My ex boyfriend ended things in 2006. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to go through. For a whole year I was just a ccmplete mess. My world felt like it crashed down all around me. I felt like I hit rock bottom and I would never make it out. Yeah, that's how much I loved him. I felt like it was all of my fault. I didn't do this, or that. I didn't appreciate him enough. I was too jealous because of my own securites. Well, the next year came. It was still hard, but a little easier. We ended all contact. Seeing how I moved home and we were 8 hrs apart we didn't exactly have to worry about running into eachother. Well I met a guy and I knew in my heart I would never feel the way I did about my first true love, but I tired. I tried so hard to make it work, and it did. I love him and care about him don't get me wrong. I just got the whole head over heels in love feeling. He takes care of me and last yr we had our first baby. It put a strain on us always arguing over the baby, but still I am trying to make it work. Last night I got a message from my ex and he told me the reasons he ended up and it honestly what was best for both of us at the time. He said it killed him to see that I was engaged and had a baby with someone else. He asked me if I was happy and all of that. He said he would like to drive 8 hrs and come see me. My heart literally felt like it dropped I still feel the exact same as when we were together. After all of this time. I don't get it. I must love him with everything in me. What should I do? I don't know. My heart apparently isn't ready to get engaged, but my baby deserves us together. I'm so torn. I am completely miserable today. I keep thinking of him over and over and over and cannot get him out of my head. Am I horrible? Please help!

I think you need to be honest with yourself. Do you love the guy you're currently with? Forget your ex for a second. The baby really does complicate things. If you are not sure of the current guy you're dating, you should break up with him. Saying your ex will drive 8 hours to see is just out of feelings. Doing it is always different than saying it.

It sounds like this guy put you through the ringer. Grabbed you buy the ankles and spun you into a wall.

Oh now he is the hero.
Oh boy.

Clap, sweetie and don't forget to tell him he is amazing.

It's called the game and don't you fall for it.
He just wants to hook you back in so he can see if he is still a god.

Nice of him to come running in now and profess his undying love for you and how it killed him to this and how much of martyr he was that and how he did it all for you.

Then he is going to confuse you so badly you will wish you were dead. Then just when everything is nice and messed up, he feels like a winner and he just simple walks off to his next victim to torment.

You may not know this now, but dude loves ro wreck peoples lives.

He brainwashed you so badly and that is the sign of an abusive guy that can twist emotions so badly and make the guilt blame so out of proportion and then just leave so you miss him like mad and you even forget what he did and then the self blame starts in and the confusion.

Its a huge ploy and if you don't know what he was doing you can feel like you were in a relationship when he played you the whole time.

You may not have any evidence but its unbelieveable how men can smoke show it and hide stuff and twist words and leave things out and practise deceit to such a professional level.

Especially if you are the trusting sort.

If he is still having that affect on you, count on another two years of withdrawl from the cocaine high. That is what that sort of high low treatment and up down rollercoastering and its a little twisted.

If I were you, I would get really really mad about how much he lied to you and played you emotionally and how he left you to believe all that hoopla and left you in the dark the first time.

Cut the string and let Mr. Charmer go.
He doesn't need anymore chocolate chip cookies and milk!

He doesn't love you and he never did and he is a grand liar. Forget your heart, its not love you feel but the hope of what you first had in the beginning before he starting twisting your brain into mush and redefining you and twisting your truth of reality.

Don't you dare let him come and see you now.
Just trying to dangle the bad habit and see if you fall again. Did whats best for you my ass.
Oh did he ever do a dance and song on you.
Realize it for what it was.
A guy controlling you through accusation and verbal weaponry.

You're too jealous!
You are too boring!
You are too this!
You are too that!

To this day you wouldn't know how to criticize someone would you?

You would never say to someone..."You and pass judgement or critique"!

I'll bet 100 bucks you cant walk up to your fiance or your ex or anyone you know and say....

"You .....and say something negative"

Right?

It was always about him wasn't it?
His feelings, his emotions. Planting false thing about what you think about him in your head and then you having to defend yourself and explain thats not what you meant how you felt...

isn't it?

Replace beginning charmer and the wonderful man he was with loathing covert women hater programmed to destroy her.

Prays upon the hope that you never ever figure that out. Will play you for years if no one tells you.