My ex dumped me about 6 weeks ago start of december over the...

My ex dumped me about 6 weeks ago start of december over the phone, i was his first serious gf he said he was crazy about me and things were moving too fast and freaking him out.at the start of the relationship he chased me and then i fell in love with him and became controlling and nagged him said he couldnt go to partys etc.i feel so bad and ive never done that to a bf before i just was scared of loosing him!so i obviously pushed him away, but when i went to meet him as I told him he had to dump me to my face he was all quiet and i said"so you really want to break up this is what you want" and he said "dont you?" i said " well yes i think its the best thing for both of us i agree with the break up" he then said" oh yeah same" and was acting like he didnt want too at all, he then hugged me soooo tight and wouldnt let go so i pulled away and i said your afraid of love and he said"im fearless" i then laughed and said owell your loss then i walked away and he just stood there all sad and watched me then got in his car 5 mins later then drove off. I cried the hole way home but i acted strong when i saw him. then a week later i got drunk and called him and he was trying to be cool in front of his mates and said "hahahahah i feel nothing for you" to me and so i said abusive stuff then hung up then weeks later he started textting and calling me off his mates ph trying to be someone elese and i clicked it was him and played along making him think i didnt know though (he is ssooo stubborn he wont call me he had to do it of his mates). I dont know what to do then he rang me and out girls on the phone i acted cool and hanged up then i got so jelous and txted him saying I hate him and never want to hear from him again then he said "plz move on then stoaked that guys are after you" i know he didnt mean this its like hes so scared hes put up a brick wall or something. now i have been doing the no contact rule for 2 weeks so far and i dont know whether to call him next week and arange to meet up and apologise or i dont know what to do im in love with him i know he feels for me too?? GUYS HELP!!