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I’m not a wealthy woman, but I’m not poor either. I own my own home, and I only work part-time. Then again, a lot of people who are 66 work part-time.

My husband has a relatively good job, and, as he’s six years younger than I am, he still works full-time. He isn’t a free loader. He gives me money without my asking for it, and I, in turn, provide him with a comfortable place to live in. My place isn’t large or fancy. It’s just a respectable home. I own two four-family houses on 13 acres. We live in the smallest unit on the property because I decided to maximize my income by renting out the other seven units. In today’s market, rents aren’t that high, and my property taxes are through the roof. So, I hardly qualify as well-to-do.

Last night my ex tried to convince me that my husband only married me for my “money” and “property.” He pointed out that my husband’s ex was a lot poorer than I am and that he chose me over her because of money. The truth of the matter is that my husband’s ex had another man in her life and she wasn’t readily available to him when he wanted her. In addition, he and she just didn’t click strongly enough for him to want to marry her. With us, it was instant chemistry.

I just laughed the whole thing off because my ex’s motives are obvious. He wants me to believe my husband doesn’t love me so I would dump him. He practically said that. I responded that HIS significant other didn’t work for many years and might have married HIM for his money but that he never saw a reason to “dump” her, so why should I even consider dumping my new husband????

I love my husband and he treats me like a queen. Even though I ask for very little, he buys me flowers every week. He buys me jewelry and clothing. He takes me out to eat in expensive restaurants. He is so affectionate and so helpful. I have no doubt in my mind that he loves me. Maybe when he initially met me, he considered the fact that I have some property, but I really don’t believe my having a house and some property was a primary motivating force in his decision to marry me. It was more about chemistry and how well we get along.

Let’s be real. Very seldom do two people have exactly the same financial situations. My husband’s job more than makes up for the money I earn from my rental properties and from my part-time teaching job. My late husband was much better off than I was, and I’m sure some people thought I married HIM for his money - lol! By the same token, my first husband didn’t have much money and neither did I and we married in spite of this.

If you ask me, my ex is frustrated and jealous that he can’t see me when he wants to, so he is trying to put a flea in my ear in order to convince me that my marriage is going to fail. He even says very nasty things about my husband, and I suspect that, if the two of them ever met, they might actually come to blows - yikes!!!!

What’s your opinion? Don’t you think my ex is suffering from “sour grape-ititis”?

So... what do you think? Please leave me a comment or give me a


  • gummybears: a bit (remember, he likes to give you negative strokes)... moreso though, I think he’s showing you how he views the world around him. :)
  • Sigi: I think your ex will say anything to make your husband look bad, looks to me you don’t let him get to you too much.
  • Cdawn: I don’t think I see the reason to maintain a relationship with your ex at this point. He sounds as if he’d like to sabotage your new marriage....kick him to the curb.
  • velvet: I agree with Cdawn why is this person still around and even commenting on your husband when he is an outsider to your relationship? Perhaps, if you value your marriage you should end communication. Also, it seems with your husband’s financial situation he doesn’t "need" you or any drama at his age in <email> happy without any negative speculation especially from an ex.
  • Genieinabottle: gummybears: Yes. It definitely shows how my ex views the world. He prides himself on his new house in a ritzy neighborhood. Most people wouldn’t give a bleep about superficial things like that.
    Sigi: Yup. You got it. My ex will say anything to discredit my husband because he keeps hoping our marriage won’t last. He is dreaming. He no longer has the same effect on me that he once had.
    Cdawn: Although I understand what you’re saying, I’ve known my ex for many, many years, and we were good friends while I was married to my late husband. In fact, he and my late husband were very close friends. Not only that.. he occasionally helps me out by giving me work to do and paying me.
    velvet: When my ex comments on our relationship, I don’t take it seriously because I think he does this in order to plant a seed of doubt in my mind. He knows my husband is six years younger and it’s hard for my ex to accept the fact that he is an ex. I explained to Cdawn why he’s still in my life. When he does this nonsense, I just click off my computer. I don’t let his negativity get to me. One more thing: My husband still communicates with his ex... gummybears and Sigi are both aware of this situation, too. Sometimes it’s hard to totally tune out ex’s who have been around for a long time. I know it’s hard for you to understand. I don’t communicate with my ex nearly as often as I used to, but we still chat from time to time. Same with my hubby and his ex. I think it’s all harmless.
  • Genieinabottle: Well, I’m starting another related blog, but it has nothing to do with money — stay tuned!!!! Genie
  • Fg: What do you think

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